LordJenal's definitions

Female Paedophile

Figure it out yourself.

You should be able to figure out what a female paedophile is yourself. You've got Google (if you are reading this) and common knowledge. Figure it out yourself.

by LordJenal September 28, 2022

Lancaster

A city in Northern England full of nosy parkers who can't seem to mind their own business. Examples include getting accosted by an angry security guard for flying a drone over the iconic castle for recreational photography. Another example is walking into a public building and standing next to a staff only door. The third example is walking into the local supermarket, clearly grown adult and picking up a tiny energy drink can from the shelf and getting asked for ID to prove you are aged 16 or older before you get chance to blink. Seriously, it's very typical of Lancaster.

Me: *Flies drone of Lancaster Castle*
Security Guard: OY! BRING THAT DOWN NOW OR IT'LL BE SHOT DOWN, THAT'S ILLEGAL IT'S CROWN PROPERTY!

by LordJenal August 28, 2022

Secret Sex

When you are in a relationship and have sex with someone other than your partner/spouse. The reason it's secret sex is because if your partner or spouse finds out. YOU! ARE! SCREWED!

Although I'm married, I had secret sex with some French girl last night. Hope my misses doesn't find out!

by LordJenal November 16, 2023

Snowflakism

The act of behaving in a manner that would make you regarded as a snowflake. Namely the act of behaving in a manner that would be deemed over sensitive or easily hurt by trivial statements or actions that has come from another.

That guy over there got really upset when I called him a silly billy. Shouldn't do that, that is snowflakism.

by LordJenal April 29, 2023

Eczema

The biggest bitch on the entire planet where you can't stop scratching yourself to death in god knows how many spots in a relentless and long-lasting way and it always comes back! Leaves red bleeding and itchy patches in all sorts of spots. Seriously, sometimes it feels like you want to scratch all your skin off to the point of where your a skeleton, it's that bloody bad!

I hate eczema it's such a bitch!

by LordJenal May 18, 2022

A Flat Miner

What you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft.

What do you get when you drop a piano down a Mineshaft?
A♭ Minor!
(A Flat Miner)

by LordJenal May 13, 2022

Your shitty makeup is gonna get me fired

If you work as a cashier in a store that sells age restricted items such as alcohol you may get underage girls coming into the store with tonnes of makeup on to make themselves look older. This can result in you not asking them for ID because you think they look old enough to not need it but you end up getting fired anyway because they are actually underage.

For the guys, it is "your shitty beard is gonna get me fired."

Underage girl: *Places bottle of wine on counter*
Cashier: ID please
Underage girl: But I'm 30!
Cashier: Nope, your shitty makeup is gonna get me fired!

by LordJenal December 17, 2023