LordJenal's definitions

Monster Energy

Big man in a can. Drank by 12 year olds who would like to brag to their friends by drinking alcohol but can't get served anywhere and can't get there hands on it any other way and so use Monster Energy as a substitute because it reads "no recommended for children on the can". They hang around and are considered the cool kid because they've got a can of Monster Energy. They brag when they even get served a Monster because in the UK you have to be over 16 by store policy (not law). These kids walk into newsagents who literally couldn't give a toss and "get served" and get seen as the cool kid. They wave it around and all the girls will be fighting over you for sure *wink wink*! Grown adults find this incredible cringeworthy and when the kids grow up they feel incredibly embarrassed about it.

Kid 1: YOU'LL NEVER A GIRLFRIEND!
Kid 2: OH SHUT YOUR MOUTH I'VE GOT MORE CHANGE THAN YOU! I GOT SERVED A MONSTER ENERGY AT THAT NEWSAGENTS THE OTHER DAY THAT SO INCREASES MY CHANCES OF GETTING ONE! THEY'LL ALL WANT ME! I SO OBVIOUSLY LOOK 16.
Kid 1 (Jealous): OH YEAH RIGHT COURSE DID! I COULD GET SERVED A MONSTER ENERGY AT EVERY NEWSAGENT UNLIKE YOU! I LOOK WAY OVER 16!
Kid 2: SHUT UP! NO MONSTER NO GIRLFRIEND SIMPLE AS THAT! YOUR JUST A KID!
Grown Adult (in the background): What utter babies they are!

by LordJenal May 20, 2022

Camelot Theme Park

A theme park in Chorley, Lancashire that closed down in 2012. It became an abandoned land for many, many years and many urban explorers wandered around the ground "illegally" and would dart from the security that was on the site. It became such a well known and documented site that anyone who posted information about it amongst the urban exploring community would be mocked and laughed at due to the repetition it caused. As of 2022 it is now a drive in cinema horror movie set. Definitely should get yourself out there if you get the chance.

Urban explorer: Camelot Theme Park - Report 2022
Other explorers: OH NO! NOT CAMELTOE AGAIN! NO!

by LordJenal August 20, 2022

Jamie Oliver

Absolute idiot responsible for a wide range of annoying things. He ruined the recipe's of Irn Bru, Lucozade and other well known soft drinks with his dumb sugar tax and furthermore the recipe of Coca Pops. He also banned Turkey Twizzlers in schools for apparent reason. He also forced UK supermarkets to put voluntary age restrictions of 16 and over on energy drinks where people in their 30s are getting ID'd. This man thinks that he is the king of food and drink choices.

Jamie Oliver is an absolute moron who loves ruining people's food and drink choices! When did anyone ever tell him what he was allowed to eat or drink?

by LordJenal April 15, 2023

Yorkshire Blackpool

Bradford. Just doesn't have a coast like Blackpool does.

Person 1: What you doing this weekend?
Person 2: Going to Bradford with the boys.
Person 1: What? Yorkshire Blackpool. Oh dear. That's bad.

by LordJenal March 30, 2022

You look about 15

An exaggerated way of saying someone in their late teens/early twenties looks young for their age. They may be chance look actually 15 but usually they look a little older than 15 but younger than their actual age.

22 year old: Could I get a litre of vodka please?
Cashier: Do you have ID on you?
Friend: HAHAHA! YOU LOOK ABOUT 15!

by LordJenal May 14, 2024

Scuba dive the Titanic

A creative way of telling someone to kill themselves!

If you scuba dive the titanic you'll die instantly due to being crushed by the water pressure.

Person 1: *Does something annoying or stupid*
Person 2: What the fuck did you do that for. Scuba dive the Titanic, idiot!

by LordJenal July 2, 2023

Oiseaux

An attractive French girl or woman.

Oiseaux is French for bird and bird is a commonly used slang word for attractive women for in the UK.

Person 1: Oh so you've been away to France?
Person 2: Yeah, it was great!
Person 1: Find a Oiseaux?
Person 2: Nah, sadly not.

by LordJenal May 15, 2022