LordJenal's definitions

Scuba dive the Titanic

A creative way of telling someone to kill themselves!

If you scuba dive the titanic you'll die instantly due to being crushed by the water pressure.

Person 1: *Does something annoying or stupid*
Person 2: What the fuck did you do that for. Scuba dive the Titanic, idiot!

by LordJenal July 2, 2023

Camelot Theme Park

A theme park in Chorley, Lancashire that closed down in 2012. It became an abandoned land for many, many years and many urban explorers wandered around the ground "illegally" and would dart from the security that was on the site. It became such a well known and documented site that anyone who posted information about it amongst the urban exploring community would be mocked and laughed at due to the repetition it caused. As of 2022 it is now a drive in cinema horror movie set. Definitely should get yourself out there if you get the chance.

Urban explorer: Camelot Theme Park - Report 2022
Other explorers: OH NO! NOT CAMELTOE AGAIN! NO!

by LordJenal August 20, 2022

Monster Energy

Big man in a can. Drank by 12 year olds who would like to brag to their friends by drinking alcohol but can't get served anywhere and can't get there hands on it any other way and so use Monster Energy as a substitute because it reads "no recommended for children on the can". They hang around and are considered the cool kid because they've got a can of Monster Energy. They brag when they even get served a Monster because in the UK you have to be over 16 by store policy (not law). These kids walk into newsagents who literally couldn't give a toss and "get served" and get seen as the cool kid. They wave it around and all the girls will be fighting over you for sure *wink wink*! Grown adults find this incredible cringeworthy and when the kids grow up they feel incredibly embarrassed about it.

Kid 1: YOU'LL NEVER A GIRLFRIEND!
Kid 2: OH SHUT YOUR MOUTH I'VE GOT MORE CHANGE THAN YOU! I GOT SERVED A MONSTER ENERGY AT THAT NEWSAGENTS THE OTHER DAY THAT SO INCREASES MY CHANCES OF GETTING ONE! THEY'LL ALL WANT ME! I SO OBVIOUSLY LOOK 16.
Kid 1 (Jealous): OH YEAH RIGHT COURSE DID! I COULD GET SERVED A MONSTER ENERGY AT EVERY NEWSAGENT UNLIKE YOU! I LOOK WAY OVER 16!
Kid 2: SHUT UP! NO MONSTER NO GIRLFRIEND SIMPLE AS THAT! YOUR JUST A KID!
Grown Adult (in the background): What utter babies they are!

by LordJenal May 20, 2022

Jamie Oliver

Absolute idiot responsible for a wide range of annoying things. He ruined the recipe's of Irn Bru, Lucozade and other well known soft drinks with his dumb sugar tax and furthermore the recipe of Coca Pops. He also banned Turkey Twizzlers in schools for apparent reason. He also forced UK supermarkets to put voluntary age restrictions of 16 and over on energy drinks where people in their 30s are getting ID'd. This man thinks that he is the king of food and drink choices.

Jamie Oliver is an absolute moron who loves ruining people's food and drink choices! When did anyone ever tell him what he was allowed to eat or drink?

by LordJenal April 15, 2023

Eczema

The biggest bitch on the entire planet where you can't stop scratching yourself to death in god knows how many spots in a relentless and long-lasting way and it always comes back! Leaves red bleeding and itchy patches in all sorts of spots. Seriously, sometimes it feels like you want to scratch all your skin off to the point of where your a skeleton, it's that bloody bad!

I hate eczema it's such a bitch!

by LordJenal May 18, 2022

Your shitty makeup is gonna get me fired

If you work as a cashier in a store that sells age restricted items such as alcohol you may get underage girls coming into the store with tonnes of makeup on to make themselves look older. This can result in you not asking them for ID because you think they look old enough to not need it but you end up getting fired anyway because they are actually underage.

For the guys, it is "your shitty beard is gonna get me fired."

Underage girl: *Places bottle of wine on counter*
Cashier: ID please
Underage girl: But I'm 30!
Cashier: Nope, your shitty makeup is gonna get me fired!

by LordJenal December 17, 2023

Scan & Scram

Something that university/college students do in order to get the attendance marks for lectures/tutorials/seminars/lessons that they never attended. They can the attendance scanner outside the room their lesson is in with their student ID, the system marks them as present and they leave and go home or somewhere else other than the lesson. Smart teachers/lecturers will not allow this to happen and will manually change it to absent once they notice the student isn't there.

Scram is an informal word for leave or go away.

Student 1: You can afford to miss another lesson mate.
Student 2: Don't worry. I'll just Scan & Scram, I'll be fine.

by LordJenal October 18, 2022