LiberaceHudson's definitions

sand britches

A term for old-fashioned trousers that are worn at seaside resorts favoured by the more mature generation.

"Did you see that Wendy had moved down to Eastbourne to be near her ailing sister?"
"Yes, I heard about that. Mind you, she's not getting any younger herself. What's she going to do with herself when there?"
"There are a number of very nice beaches down there. I'm sure she'll put on her best sand britches and get into a bit of crabbing or something similar."
"Oh that sounds nice. I haven't experienced any crab action for donkey's years. She'll have fun down there."

by LiberaceHudson September 3, 2017

Twatter

What the social media platform Twitter should be actually named. A mass group of Twats talking shite endlessly and thinking of themselves as modern-day Aristotles.

Mac was going to go on Twatter but realised he had a life and so closed the laptop and went out and met the world with a smile.

by LiberaceHudson September 24, 2017

City Lickers

A term given to urbanite lesbians.

"Wow! Did you hear that Susan and her gal Linda were leaving the backwoods of Missouri and heading to the big smoke?"
"No I didn't. Where are they moving to and when?"
"They're moving to Detroit in early October. They will be bona fide city lickers then."
"Yes, they will. Good luck to them I say."

by LiberaceHudson September 3, 2017

Mormon pancake

A Mormon pancake is the term given to any flat food served up that contains male ejaculate added in there as a joke.

Myra is 99 years of age and a virgin. Imagine her surprise then to discover that her nephew Kevin has just served her up a good old-fashioned Mormon pancake. I bet she even asks for seconds.

by LiberaceHudson October 6, 2017

blueberry buttcheeks

Blueberry buttcheeks are when your bottom is spanked so hard and for so long that they no longer resemble rosy cheeks but instead look more like a blueberry tart. The spankee is usually in floods of tears at this point.

Uncle Richard threw me over his knee and gave my ass a damn good thrashing because he felt I was being impertinent. The fact I'm 39 and a headmistress and his penis erect throughout notwithstanding, I felt it wrong that he should leave me with blueberry buttcheeks for a simple misunderstanding. I came home and applied some antiseptic cream and slowly my ass is feeling like its old self - heavily sagging and puckered from all the ass fucking my husband seems to enjoy.

by LiberaceHudson September 25, 2017

dry goods wagon

The term given to any large woman who puts out like she's sexually available but is, in reality, either a prick-tease or a frigid bitch.

Wendy waddled down the local bar in her denim shorts which threatened to be torn asunder by her enormous size and her neon pink boob tube. She flirted with all the guys but when it came down to it, she cock-blocked them all even though she was instigating all the flirtations herself. She took her not inconsiderable heft home alone again, the old dry goods wagon she was turning out to be.

by LiberaceHudson October 10, 2017

scat party

A party in which people get naked and writhe around while people shit onto their bodies and into their mouths. A way to discern such a party (aside from the shocking whiff) is the presence of either a drained hot tub/swimming pool or several large inflatable paddling pools dotted around the premises.

Rachel was invited to a scat party in Hampstead. She was only too happy to go as she knew the hosts and they knew she loved her Jazz music. In fact, she counted Ella Fitzgerald as one of her favourite artists. Imagine her horror then when instead of people standing around drinking and informally chatting, listening to supremely gifted vocal Jazz musicians she instead walked in on a scrum of about 50 people all in various states of undress, sploshing about covered in human excrement and orgiastic excess. Being brought up rather well, she knew it would be rude to leave so got into the spirit of the proceedings. It wasn't long before she was on the receiving end of a particularly vicious Cleveland Steamer, administered by a punky looking young woman called Carol who was an administrator at the local hospital. She finally left at 2.30am however she vowed to never attend again.

by LiberaceHudson September 25, 2017