Queen of Hearts

The worst kind of friend, the Queen of Hearts refers to any woman who tries to upstage the bride at a wedding by wearing something unbelievably eye-catching - typically "that sexy red dress" or something similar. The Queen of Hearts is a total cunt, and if anyone pulled a similar move at her wedding it would likely trigger the apocalypse. The best way to deal with the Queen of Hearts is to inform her - in the center of the dance floor with everyone watching - that the bachelor party is in the next room over. Failing that, you can always resort to hitting her with an Assembly-safe Shuriken.
"We went to Dan and Molly's wedding Saturday, and her friend Mora pulled a total Queen of Hearts - she showed up in a red dress with more frills than a Congressman's health insurance."
by JustAnotherGuy March 30, 2010
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Logical Shitstorm Continuum

The Logical Shitstorm Continuum basically amounts to a giant "tank" where all the stupidest, most nonsensical and illogical things that people think, say, and do are being stored by God for the day when He gets to point out what a bunch of fucking assholes the lot of us are and how lucky we are that He forgives us for it. When this "tank" finally hits full, the Apocalypse will begin, the world will end, and a whole lot of people are going to say, "Wow, not only is there a God, but He really did keep track of every stupid thing I said and did."

It also serves as a storage facility for every one of Will Ferrell's movies, though this is keeping in line with the preceding definition.
"Think twice about making that speech, Mr. President. It threatens to break the Logical Shitstorm Continuum, and you don't want that to mark the end of your presidency."

"A new Will Ferrell movie was released this weekend, and the United Nations was relived to find that the Logical Shitstorm Continuum has remained intact."
by JustAnotherGuy February 03, 2010
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Assembly-safe Shuriken

Any small but dense food item served as an hors d'oeuvres at a wedding; the Spinach Vomit-bomb is the most common type of Assembly-safe Shuriken. Since there are always dozens of these left over when the cocktail hour has expired, mischievous guests load their pockets with them, then fling them at annoying guests - which is hard to spot when in a room with 225 people. Typical victims include annoying mother-in-laws, the guy who showed up in the white tux with a pickle stashed in his underpants, and that annoying aunt who manages to interrupt every dance and photo opportunity to get her ugly flowered dress and $10 Wal-Mart sneakers into the frame.
"Aunt May was being a total douchehound so I pegged that bitch in the head with an Assembly-safe Shuriken. Now they can get the wedding party photos done while she combs crumbs out of her hair for an hour."
by JustAnotherGuy March 15, 2010
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Rhode Island Tourism

A day's worth of activities including looking at brown rivers, old crumbling mills, a windmill they stuck on the side of the interstate, a thoroughly unimpressive skyline, a bunch of wood fires set out on the water, and wrapping it up by driving past the Big Blue Bug on the side of I-95S. Wow.
"It's hard to believe that Rhode Island Tourism is real, especially when you consider there's nothing here and most of the out-of-state plates you see are really just residents dodging the vehicle tax."
by JustAnotherGuy March 08, 2010
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Osama bin Laden; taken from a comedy song that parodies "Oh Susannah" and makes fun of Osama bin Laden.
"Oh bin Laden,
You fucking make me gag;
You're like ten pounds of camel shit
In a nine pound bag."
by JustAnotherGuy February 02, 2005
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Seagulls

Nature's version of welfare recipients.
Seagulls and welfare recipients are a lot alike...they both sit around waiting for handouts, spawn uncontrollably, and make a lot of noise that irritates the shit out of everything around them.
by JustAnotherGuy October 26, 2012
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Cop Karma

"Intellectual" phenomena that leads people to believe going 15 under the speed limit for 3 miles after passing a cop will either:

A) Keep said cop from giving them a ticket for flying past him, or
B) Prevent subsequent cops from coming after them because they atoned for their speeding.
Despite the fact that he was doing 80 in a 55 zone when he passed the cop, the idiot in the Corolla in front of me then decided to utilize cop karma to keep from getting a ticket. He slammed on his brakes and then proceeded to drive 42 for three miles, but it didn't work: he got bagged 18 seconds later.
by JustAnotherGuy January 15, 2014
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