JustAnotherGuy's definitions
Mental condition wherein human beings see other human beings as filthy animals while seeing dogs as their brothers, sisters, or, most often, children. Condition may cause said persons to do the following:
- become filled with outrage when a dog is killed, even accidentally; however, when humans are killed or abused, they turn a blind eye to it.
- bring their dogs into restaurants and supermarkets and become outraged when told that their pet doesn't belong there, insisting it is "a member of their family" and that the store is discriminating against them.
- pay thousands of dollars for their pets to have treatments for cancer, but bemoan human beings "running up huge hopsital bills for their family" when trying to survive cancer.
- make hilarious statements such as "I would rather heaven was full of dogs than people," not realizing that such would mean they wouldn't be there, either.
- feed their dog from their dinner table and even let the dog take stuff right off of their plate, but get mad if someone "breaches protocol" by eating with their fingers or putting their elbows on the table.
It is important to note that Canine Dysfunction is not limited to dog owners, but can also affect the owners of any other type of house pet, both common and uncommon, in a similar fashion with regard to their animal of choice.
- become filled with outrage when a dog is killed, even accidentally; however, when humans are killed or abused, they turn a blind eye to it.
- bring their dogs into restaurants and supermarkets and become outraged when told that their pet doesn't belong there, insisting it is "a member of their family" and that the store is discriminating against them.
- pay thousands of dollars for their pets to have treatments for cancer, but bemoan human beings "running up huge hopsital bills for their family" when trying to survive cancer.
- make hilarious statements such as "I would rather heaven was full of dogs than people," not realizing that such would mean they wouldn't be there, either.
- feed their dog from their dinner table and even let the dog take stuff right off of their plate, but get mad if someone "breaches protocol" by eating with their fingers or putting their elbows on the table.
It is important to note that Canine Dysfunction is not limited to dog owners, but can also affect the owners of any other type of house pet, both common and uncommon, in a similar fashion with regard to their animal of choice.
Some woman with canine dysfunction was carrying her poodle around the grocery store and made a huge scene when she was told that only Seeing-Eye Dogs were allowed in the store. It only got more awkward when she declared that she and her "child" were leaving and would be talking to a lawyer about a discrimination suit.
by JustAnotherGuy October 16, 2012
Get the Canine Dysfunctionmug. A jerkoff. Derived from the fact that he has sex with socks and the crevices between couch cushions (perhaps both at the same time) because he's a dillhole. Not to be confused with a snake-maker.
Jack always brags about how many women he banged over the weekend, but everyone in his class knows he's just a sock-stuffer.
by JustAnotherGuy October 16, 2012
Get the Sock-Stuffermug. A special version of the popular board game Monopoly, but with a few extra rules:
- One player gets designated the "Welfare Recipient." He sits on the GO square through the entire game, but every time someone else collects money from either rent or passing GO, he gets to collect 10% of it from that player for doing absolutely nothing.
- The Welfare Recipient can, on occasion, go to the Jail square at his leisure, but it is never his fault if he does so, and while there, all the other players must pay $20 every time they pass GO to keep him fed, clothed, warm, and with healthcare while he is in jail.
- On the return trip to the GO square from jail:
-- if the Welfare Recipient lands on any tax squares, the other players must pay it for him in equal shares;
-- if he lands on a rent square, the landlord collects rent from the bank instead of the Welfare Recipient
-- if he lands on Free Parking, he gets to collect any windfall to simulate taking his welfare check to the casino
-- if he lands on a railroad at the same time as another player, he may mug them for 1/5 of their total cash or, if that share would be less than $100, he can kill that player, ending the game for them.
The Welfare Recipient must also always use the CRACK PIPE as their piece of choice; if one doesn't exist, use a real one instead.
- One player gets designated the "Welfare Recipient." He sits on the GO square through the entire game, but every time someone else collects money from either rent or passing GO, he gets to collect 10% of it from that player for doing absolutely nothing.
- The Welfare Recipient can, on occasion, go to the Jail square at his leisure, but it is never his fault if he does so, and while there, all the other players must pay $20 every time they pass GO to keep him fed, clothed, warm, and with healthcare while he is in jail.
- On the return trip to the GO square from jail:
-- if the Welfare Recipient lands on any tax squares, the other players must pay it for him in equal shares;
-- if he lands on a rent square, the landlord collects rent from the bank instead of the Welfare Recipient
-- if he lands on Free Parking, he gets to collect any windfall to simulate taking his welfare check to the casino
-- if he lands on a railroad at the same time as another player, he may mug them for 1/5 of their total cash or, if that share would be less than $100, he can kill that player, ending the game for them.
The Welfare Recipient must also always use the CRACK PIPE as their piece of choice; if one doesn't exist, use a real one instead.
For some odd reason, the guy playing the Welfare Recipient is impossible to beat at Liberal Monopoly...
by JustAnotherGuy March 1, 2013
Get the Liberal Monopolymug. Something so fucking predictable they could just record it and play the same tape over and over every day. It's always exactly the same, and ignores anything not within a 2-mile radius of the center of Providence.
"95 North is slow between Thurber's Avenue and the State Offices Exit, 195-westbound is backed up from Broadway to the I-95 split, 95 South is slow from Atwells Avenue to the 146-merge, 146 South you're on your brakes from Admiral Street to the 95 merge, and the 6-10 Connector is backed up to Dean Street...I'm Jim Stearns with your Wheelock Auto Rhode Island Traffic Report."
by JustAnotherGuy March 8, 2010
Get the Rhode Island Traffic Reportmug. by Justanotherguy April 14, 2023
Get the 🏍️mug. Any small but dense food item served as an hors d'oeuvres at a wedding; the Spinach Vomit-bomb is the most common type of Assembly-safe Shuriken. Since there are always dozens of these left over when the cocktail hour has expired, mischievous guests load their pockets with them, then fling them at annoying guests - which is hard to spot when in a room with 225 people. Typical victims include annoying mother-in-laws, the guy who showed up in the white tux with a pickle stashed in his underpants, and that annoying aunt who manages to interrupt every dance and photo opportunity to get her ugly flowered dress and $10 Wal-Mart sneakers into the frame.
"Aunt May was being a total douchehound so I pegged that bitch in the head with an Assembly-safe Shuriken. Now they can get the wedding party photos done while she combs crumbs out of her hair for an hour."
by JustAnotherGuy March 15, 2010
Get the Assembly-safe Shurikenmug. How the wait staff refers to Ancient Ass-cheese Flowers and Spinach Vomit-bombs at weddings; when the guests ask what one of these disgusting hors d'oeuvres is, the wait staff will say "Chicken Surprise." What happens next usually results in the waiter getting written up or even fired, but it's usually worth it.
Obnoxious Guest: "Hey, what's this thing here?"
Waiter: "Chicken Surprise."
Obnoxious Guest: "Hmph, this doesn't taste like it's chicken."
Waiter, with a fuck-you smile: "Surprise."
Waiter: "Chicken Surprise."
Obnoxious Guest: "Hmph, this doesn't taste like it's chicken."
Waiter, with a fuck-you smile: "Surprise."
by JustAnotherGuy March 18, 2010
Get the Chicken Surprisemug.