JustAnotherGuy's definitions
Mental condition wherein human beings see other human beings as filthy animals while seeing dogs as their brothers, sisters, or, most often, children. Condition may cause said persons to do the following:
- become filled with outrage when a dog is killed, even accidentally; however, when humans are killed or abused, they turn a blind eye to it.
- bring their dogs into restaurants and supermarkets and become outraged when told that their pet doesn't belong there, insisting it is "a member of their family" and that the store is discriminating against them.
- pay thousands of dollars for their pets to have treatments for cancer, but bemoan human beings "running up huge hopsital bills for their family" when trying to survive cancer.
- make hilarious statements such as "I would rather heaven was full of dogs than people," not realizing that such would mean they wouldn't be there, either.
- feed their dog from their dinner table and even let the dog take stuff right off of their plate, but get mad if someone "breaches protocol" by eating with their fingers or putting their elbows on the table.
It is important to note that Canine Dysfunction is not limited to dog owners, but can also affect the owners of any other type of house pet, both common and uncommon, in a similar fashion with regard to their animal of choice.
- become filled with outrage when a dog is killed, even accidentally; however, when humans are killed or abused, they turn a blind eye to it.
- bring their dogs into restaurants and supermarkets and become outraged when told that their pet doesn't belong there, insisting it is "a member of their family" and that the store is discriminating against them.
- pay thousands of dollars for their pets to have treatments for cancer, but bemoan human beings "running up huge hopsital bills for their family" when trying to survive cancer.
- make hilarious statements such as "I would rather heaven was full of dogs than people," not realizing that such would mean they wouldn't be there, either.
- feed their dog from their dinner table and even let the dog take stuff right off of their plate, but get mad if someone "breaches protocol" by eating with their fingers or putting their elbows on the table.
It is important to note that Canine Dysfunction is not limited to dog owners, but can also affect the owners of any other type of house pet, both common and uncommon, in a similar fashion with regard to their animal of choice.
Some woman with canine dysfunction was carrying her poodle around the grocery store and made a huge scene when she was told that only Seeing-Eye Dogs were allowed in the store. It only got more awkward when she declared that she and her "child" were leaving and would be talking to a lawyer about a discrimination suit.
by JustAnotherGuy October 16, 2012
Get the Canine Dysfunction mug.Not to be confused with the small elevator-like devices found in restaurants, hotels and such, "dumb-waiter" refers to the idiot - and there's always one - serving hors d'oeuvres to the bride and groom at a wedding who allows their tray to be pillaged of anything edible before they even get to the wedding party. Thus, they only have Spinach Vomit-bombs left by the time they get to the bride and groom, who wrap a bunch of these disgusting ass nuggets in a napkin to later pelt the wait staff with when no one's looking.
"Not surprisingly, the maitre d' assigned the dumb-waiter to bring hors d'oeuvres to the wedding party, and the fat shits lumbering up the front steps emptied the tray before the guy even got there."
by JustAnotherGuy March 15, 2010
Get the Dumb-waiter mug.The result of a police officer pulling someone over for a traffic violation in Rhode Island. All the people in the state have to stop - not slow down, but fully stop - as they pass the vehicle that's been pulled over to see if it's someone they know. And thus, a single state trooper pulling over someone for speeding during rush hour can grind traffic on the interstate to a complete halt for more than fifteen minutes.
"My commute home should only take 20 minutes, but never takes less than an hour because of the Flashing-lights Brake-dance and the fact that people forget where the fuck Route 4 is every afternoon."
by JustAnotherGuy March 8, 2010
Get the Flashing-lights Brake-dance mug.Refers to a half-hour after sex. If you did your job right, your girl will still be clinging to you at Fuck-thirty, or if you did an outstanding job, she'll be asking for an encore performance around Fuck-thirty.
Jeff knew the deed was done right when his girl woke him up at Fuck-thirty just to say "I love you."
by JustAnotherGuy October 19, 2012
Get the Fuck-thirty mug.A poor replacement for breakfast, originating in the Anthrax song "Milk." Toss some wheat thins in a bowl, pour beer in it, and eat like it's cereal. Just remember the Anthrax lyrics when you try it.
by JustAnotherGuy February 2, 2005
Get the Wheat Thins and Beer mug.Something so fucking predictable they could just record it and play the same tape over and over every day. It's always exactly the same, and ignores anything not within a 2-mile radius of the center of Providence.
"95 North is slow between Thurber's Avenue and the State Offices Exit, 195-westbound is backed up from Broadway to the I-95 split, 95 South is slow from Atwells Avenue to the 146-merge, 146 South you're on your brakes from Admiral Street to the 95 merge, and the 6-10 Connector is backed up to Dean Street...I'm Jim Stearns with your Wheelock Auto Rhode Island Traffic Report."
by JustAnotherGuy March 8, 2010
Get the Rhode Island Traffic Report mug.An acronym that stands for "Sexual Harassment Investigation Team." Because as we all know, 99% of "sexual harassment" claims these days are, in fact, a crock of shit.
Suzy filed a sexual harassment claim against Bob because he said she looked hot in her new outfit. Sounds like a S.H.I.T. case if you ask me.
by JustAnotherGuy December 28, 2004
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