JustAnotherGuy's definitions

Thanksgiving

An ironic holiday where millions of people who claim there is no God take time out of their lives to give thanks to some as-yet undefined scientific principle. Only in America do people celebrate a math problem with a holiday, wherein they call all their religious friends stupid while thanking an exploded fart for creating the universe. Still millions more lament the fact that everything they have in life came at the expense of another human being (the native Americans), despite the fact that every society in the history of mankind has been the same.

A holiday where a select few celebrate by being thankful for what they have, rather than reveling in a self-induced guilt trip over what others don't have.

"Thanksgiving, that wonderful holiday that should really be called I Fucking Earned This Day by most of the people who 'celebrate' it."

by JustAnotherGuy August 19, 2012

Spinach Vomit-bomb

A type of hors d'oeuvres that either comes in a frozen package in the supermarket or is made at a banquet facility for weddings or similar functions. Quite often, the banquet facility gets these nasty little shits from those same supermarket frozen packages. The Spinach Vomit-bomb is a wretched piece of flimsy dough packed with the nastiest, most dried out spinach that tastes more like something you might scrape out of your pool when you reopen it. Typically used more as ammunition (see Assembly-safe Shuriken), these pieces of unforgivably disgusting shit can usually be found in piles on serving trays by the time cocktail hour expires.

Jim: "God, I was almost hungry enough to eat a few of those Spinach Vomit-bombs they were serving."

Jack: "Glad you didn't, now we have more ammo to pelt Aunt Rose and Uncle Dave with."

by JustAnotherGuy March 15, 2010

Chicken Surprise

How the wait staff refers to Ancient Ass-cheese Flowers and Spinach Vomit-bombs at weddings; when the guests ask what one of these disgusting hors d'oeuvres is, the wait staff will say "Chicken Surprise." What happens next usually results in the waiter getting written up or even fired, but it's usually worth it.

Obnoxious Guest: "Hey, what's this thing here?"
Waiter: "Chicken Surprise."
Obnoxious Guest: "Hmph, this doesn't taste like it's chicken."
Waiter, with a fuck-you smile: "Surprise."

by JustAnotherGuy March 18, 2010

Queen of Hearts

The worst kind of friend, the Queen of Hearts refers to any woman who tries to upstage the bride at a wedding by wearing something unbelievably eye-catching - typically "that sexy red dress" or something similar. The Queen of Hearts is a total cunt, and if anyone pulled a similar move at her wedding it would likely trigger the apocalypse. The best way to deal with the Queen of Hearts is to inform her - in the center of the dance floor with everyone watching - that the bachelor party is in the next room over. Failing that, you can always resort to hitting her with an Assembly-safe Shuriken.

"We went to Dan and Molly's wedding Saturday, and her friend Mora pulled a total Queen of Hearts - she showed up in a red dress with more frills than a Congressman's health insurance."

by JustAnotherGuy March 30, 2010

Snake-maker

A young jerkoff. Usually a jerkoff because he's too young to be having sex but is randy as a son-of-a-bitch. When he's not jerking off, he's practicing by making snakes with his Play-Doh. Not to be confused with a sock-stuffer.

Brian is a total snake-maker, you can see it in his eyes when he's rolling the Play-Doh. May be time for his parents to have "the talk" with him.

by JustAnotherGuy October 16, 2012

🍷🗿

sigma

Joe is such a sigma as he is emotionally stable and works hard 🍷🗿

by Justanotherguy April 14, 2023

Ten Pounds of Camel Shit in a Nine Pound Bag

Osama bin Laden; taken from a comedy song that parodies "Oh Susannah" and makes fun of Osama bin Laden.

"Oh bin Laden,
You fucking make me gag;
You're like ten pounds of camel shit
In a nine pound bag."

by JustAnotherGuy February 2, 2005