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Canine Dysfunction

Mental condition wherein human beings see other human beings as filthy animals while seeing dogs as their brothers, sisters, or, most often, children. Condition may cause said persons to do the following:

- become filled with outrage when a dog is killed, even accidentally; however, when humans are killed or abused, they turn a blind eye to it.

- bring their dogs into restaurants and supermarkets and become outraged when told that their pet doesn't belong there, insisting it is "a member of their family" and that the store is discriminating against them.

- pay thousands of dollars for their pets to have treatments for cancer, but bemoan human beings "running up huge hopsital bills for their family" when trying to survive cancer.

- make hilarious statements such as "I would rather heaven was full of dogs than people," not realizing that such would mean they wouldn't be there, either.

- feed their dog from their dinner table and even let the dog take stuff right off of their plate, but get mad if someone "breaches protocol" by eating with their fingers or putting their elbows on the table.

It is important to note that Canine Dysfunction is not limited to dog owners, but can also affect the owners of any other type of house pet, both common and uncommon, in a similar fashion with regard to their animal of choice.
Some woman with canine dysfunction was carrying her poodle around the grocery store and made a huge scene when she was told that only Seeing-Eye Dogs were allowed in the store. It only got more awkward when she declared that she and her "child" were leaving and would be talking to a lawyer about a discrimination suit.
by JustAnotherGuy October 16, 2012
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Liberal Monopoly

A special version of the popular board game Monopoly, but with a few extra rules:

- One player gets designated the "Welfare Recipient." He sits on the GO square through the entire game, but every time someone else collects money from either rent or passing GO, he gets to collect 10% of it from that player for doing absolutely nothing.

- The Welfare Recipient can, on occasion, go to the Jail square at his leisure, but it is never his fault if he does so, and while there, all the other players must pay $20 every time they pass GO to keep him fed, clothed, warm, and with healthcare while he is in jail.

- On the return trip to the GO square from jail:

-- if the Welfare Recipient lands on any tax squares, the other players must pay it for him in equal shares;

-- if he lands on a rent square, the landlord collects rent from the bank instead of the Welfare Recipient

-- if he lands on Free Parking, he gets to collect any windfall to simulate taking his welfare check to the casino

-- if he lands on a railroad at the same time as another player, he may mug them for 1/5 of their total cash or, if that share would be less than $100, he can kill that player, ending the game for them.

The Welfare Recipient must also always use the CRACK PIPE as their piece of choice; if one doesn't exist, use a real one instead.
For some odd reason, the guy playing the Welfare Recipient is impossible to beat at Liberal Monopoly...
by JustAnotherGuy March 1, 2013
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Fuck-thirty

Refers to a half-hour after sex. If you did your job right, your girl will still be clinging to you at Fuck-thirty, or if you did an outstanding job, she'll be asking for an encore performance around Fuck-thirty.
Jeff knew the deed was done right when his girl woke him up at Fuck-thirty just to say "I love you."
by JustAnotherGuy October 19, 2012
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Wheat Thins and Beer

A poor replacement for breakfast, originating in the Anthrax song "Milk." Toss some wheat thins in a bowl, pour beer in it, and eat like it's cereal. Just remember the Anthrax lyrics when you try it.
"I'll just have Wheat Thins and Beer,
If I get sick the toilet is near!"
by JustAnotherGuy February 2, 2005
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Snake-maker

A young jerkoff. Usually a jerkoff because he's too young to be having sex but is randy as a son-of-a-bitch. When he's not jerking off, he's practicing by making snakes with his Play-Doh. Not to be confused with a sock-stuffer.
Brian is a total snake-maker, you can see it in his eyes when he's rolling the Play-Doh. May be time for his parents to have "the talk" with him.
by JustAnotherGuy October 16, 2012
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Sock-Stuffer

A jerkoff. Derived from the fact that he has sex with socks and the crevices between couch cushions (perhaps both at the same time) because he's a dillhole. Not to be confused with a snake-maker.
Jack always brags about how many women he banged over the weekend, but everyone in his class knows he's just a sock-stuffer.
by JustAnotherGuy October 16, 2012
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Rhode Island Sunday

Better known as Saturday to the rest of the world, on Rhode Island Sunday all the drunks and old people come out of the woodwork to make sure those with lives can't get anywhere without at least a 45-minute commute. The methodology is comprised of several art forms, including the Rhode Island Roadblock, the Rhode Island Rubberneck, and the Flashing-Lights Brake-dance.

The scariest part of Rhode Island Sunday is that when compounded with an actual Sunday, the Rhode Island Sunday drivers and the *real* Sunday drivers are all on the road together, thus creating the greatest clusterfuck this side of Los Angeles.
"We're going to see Tom Petty at the Comcast Center, but the concert's on a Rhode Island Sunday so we have to leave an extra hour early."
by JustAnotherGuy March 8, 2010
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