Joshua B. Wright's definitions
Noun:
Any of a number of conditions characterized by the involuntary suspension of mental processes crucial to self-expression and/or higher reasoning.
Cases of cognitive impaction can frequently be identified by inarticulate attempts at discourse, extended guttural utterances, slack-jaws and bugged out eyes on the part of the afflicted. Treatments are highly specific to each variety of cognitive impaction and range from a slap "upside" the head to a deadline in the most severe cases.
Also see mental constipation.
Any of a number of conditions characterized by the involuntary suspension of mental processes crucial to self-expression and/or higher reasoning.
Cases of cognitive impaction can frequently be identified by inarticulate attempts at discourse, extended guttural utterances, slack-jaws and bugged out eyes on the part of the afflicted. Treatments are highly specific to each variety of cognitive impaction and range from a slap "upside" the head to a deadline in the most severe cases.
Also see mental constipation.
"Overwhelmed at the prospect of having the bounty of an entire doughnut shop all to himself, Homer immediately suffered a massive cognitive impaction that reduced him to little more than a drooling mass of manflesh."
by Joshua B. Wright April 5, 2004
Get the cognitive impaction mug.Noun, Person:
The late TV side-kick of the legendary British comedian Benny Hill, Jack Wright was the constant recipient of what came to be Hill's signature "head pat" - a comic device for which Wright's conspicuously bald, wizened head undoubtedly made him uniquely well suited.
The late TV side-kick of the legendary British comedian Benny Hill, Jack Wright was the constant recipient of what came to be Hill's signature "head pat" - a comic device for which Wright's conspicuously bald, wizened head undoubtedly made him uniquely well suited.
Entry number 541 in The Big Book of 1000 Things You Never Want to Hear on a First Date: "I know! You look just like that little guy on Benny Hill! What was his name... oh yeah, Jack Wright!"
Mark: "C'mon man, you've gotta go! I mean, we're a team, a classic duo!"
Dave: "...Right..."
Mark: "...like Cheech and Chong!"
Dave: "Uh huh."
Mark: "...like Sonny and Cher!"
Dave: "Uh..."
Mark: "...like Benny Hill and Jack Wright!"
Dave: "..."
Dave "Drink poison."
Mark: "C'mon man, you've gotta go! I mean, we're a team, a classic duo!"
Dave: "...Right..."
Mark: "...like Cheech and Chong!"
Dave: "Uh huh."
Mark: "...like Sonny and Cher!"
Dave: "Uh..."
Mark: "...like Benny Hill and Jack Wright!"
Dave: "..."
Dave "Drink poison."
by Joshua B. Wright April 7, 2004
Get the Jack Wright mug.Expression:
An expression frequently employed by IRC chatters and message board posters as an appraisal of a particularly apt or acute rejoinder - the winning move in a war of words.
An expression frequently employed by IRC chatters and message board posters as an appraisal of a particularly apt or acute rejoinder - the winning move in a war of words.
H4x0r J03: "LOLR0FL DUD3Z U WRI73 F4NFICZ??!!11!! 0MFGROFL!!!!1!! TH47 I5 3NUF T0 M4K3Z YU0 4LL T3H 0T4KU F4NB0I L4M3RZ!!!"
Mark: "Not like your fifty gigabyte collection of pirated DBZ mpegs huh?"
Dave: "Flawless victory!"
Mark: "Not like your fifty gigabyte collection of pirated DBZ mpegs huh?"
Dave: "Flawless victory!"
by Joshua B. Wright April 10, 2004
Get the flawless victory mug.Expression:
An expression frequently employed by IRC chatters and message board posters to convey their complete contempt for another chatter or poster in response to a particularly asinine question or comment.
An expression frequently employed by IRC chatters and message board posters to convey their complete contempt for another chatter or poster in response to a particularly asinine question or comment.
H4x0r J03: "LOLROFLHAHA U F4GG07!1!! T3H H4X0RZ L33T 5KI11Z H4V3 0WND YUO!!!!1!!"
Pete: "Drink poison."
Pete: "Drink poison."
by Joshua B. Wright April 7, 2004
Get the Drink Poison mug.Verb, past tense:
When a likeable supporting character is killed off early on in the development of a video game's story, he or she is said to have been "jessied"; especially apt when said character's death is part of a plot device or when his or her continued existence has become inconvenient for the script writer.
A reference to the ill-fated lass Jessie, a supporting character in the uber-popular rpg Final Fantasy 7.
When a likeable supporting character is killed off early on in the development of a video game's story, he or she is said to have been "jessied"; especially apt when said character's death is part of a plot device or when his or her continued existence has become inconvenient for the script writer.
A reference to the ill-fated lass Jessie, a supporting character in the uber-popular rpg Final Fantasy 7.
"Sure, the wisecracking imp was a riot, but deep down we all knew that he'd be jessied before the next act."
"She whom cruel fate hath jessied, Urban Dictionary shall make immortal."
"She whom cruel fate hath jessied, Urban Dictionary shall make immortal."
by Joshua B. Wright July 6, 2006
Get the jessied mug.Noun:
Often cited as one of the worst video games ever made, Bible Adventures was a 2D platforming title produced for the NES by the now infamous video game company Color Dreams while doing business under the name of "Wisdom Tree Software."
In truth, Bible Adventures was merely a sub-par NES game that probably would have faded away into pop culture oblivion were it not for the notoriety of its development house and one acutely humorous game play quirk that made it possible to drown baby Moses.
Otherwise destined to be forgotten, Bible Adventures thus endures - an immortal testament to the endless comic potential when religion, entertainment and capitalism collide.
Often cited as one of the worst video games ever made, Bible Adventures was a 2D platforming title produced for the NES by the now infamous video game company Color Dreams while doing business under the name of "Wisdom Tree Software."
In truth, Bible Adventures was merely a sub-par NES game that probably would have faded away into pop culture oblivion were it not for the notoriety of its development house and one acutely humorous game play quirk that made it possible to drown baby Moses.
Otherwise destined to be forgotten, Bible Adventures thus endures - an immortal testament to the endless comic potential when religion, entertainment and capitalism collide.
"In my estimation, Episode II is the Bible Adventures of the silver screen."
"The plan was flawless, and the Pope himself made a huge blue hat out of the strangely colored Bible Adventures cartridges. He was happy his sheep were finally able to praise Jesus through three gloriously unplayable games on a single baby blue colored NES cartridge!" - Sean Baby
"The plan was flawless, and the Pope himself made a huge blue hat out of the strangely colored Bible Adventures cartridges. He was happy his sheep were finally able to praise Jesus through three gloriously unplayable games on a single baby blue colored NES cartridge!" - Sean Baby
by Joshua B. Wright April 4, 2004
Get the Bible Adventures mug.Noun:
Absolutely any woman, regardless of talent, who establishes a singing career and appears on television.
Absolutely any woman, regardless of talent, who establishes a singing career and appears on television.
"...to the contrary, Pete - over the past decade we've witnessed a veritable explosion in the population of divas, for instance. In fact, our research shows that the years between nineteen ninety and the present date saw the emergence of more divas than the previous one hundred years. Ultimately, I think that reports of the death of high culture simply don't square with the numbers."
by Joshua B. Wright April 7, 2004
Get the diva mug.