JohnnyAZ's definitions

ByeSpace

The act of dropping out of MySpace and other social networking sites because they become so overwhelming to keep up with.

I had 27 new friggin' friend bulletins today - I'm seriously considering ByeSpace.

by JohnnyAZ January 15, 2008

backslide

To spread crack for a tap from some johnson you've dumped, usually inducing a shame spiral. Note: only women and gay men can backslide, since straight men will screw anything, anytime, without remorse.

Johnny: You look like shit.
Eric: My ex came over last night.
Johnny: You backslide?
Eric: You know it.
Johnny: That must be some good rod.
Eric: Better than that take-out you scarf.

by JohnnyAZ May 13, 2006

blood, sweat and Carly Simon

Characterized by intensity, introspection, difficulty and analysis, often accompanied by frustrating miscommunication, hurt feelings, sarcasm, long, stacatto text message exchanges, starch, and/or a compulsive need to talk about an event, thing, or situation. Credit to TT for this adept turn-of-phrase.

J: Why are you being so hateful?

E: Why are you?

J: My heart wants you.

E: Everything is so blood, sweat and Carly Simon with you.

J: Kiss me, starchy polar bear.

E: Right on.

<kiss>

by JohnnyAZ May 19, 2006

moving on

a kinder, gentler expression for "breaking up," but even more useful because it can be applied to any relationship, from a 20-year marriage to five-month lover, a three-week fling, or that person you've been stalking for the past nine days.

E: You look happy.
J: I just had it out with Julio. I'm so moving on.
E: But Julio's a great guy. Maybe you should rethink that.
J: And maybe you should tongue my poop chute.

by JohnnyAZ June 11, 2006

dumbkin

A dumb (badly carved) Halloween pumpkin.

(Credit to Dean at Peggy's expense)

E: Hey Dean, nice Jack o' Lanterns on your porch.
D: Thanks -- the one on the left is mine.
E: Very cool.
D: And the other one's Peggy's...total dumbkin.
E: You're so mean, Dean.
D: It is what it is.

by JohnnyAZ October 16, 2007

microwave

To heat up a relationship at an unnaturally speedy rate. Unfortunately, the resulting relationship often is more like a Hungry Man TV dinner than a slow-cooked paella. Again, credit to TT for this clever characterization.

A: So what's new with T and E?
K: Splitsville.
A: No way!
K: Way.
A: Well, they totally microwaved it.
K: Yeah. You'd think they were like lesbians or something.
A: Nope -- just two lonely men wanting something real.
K: Oh fucking well.
A: Too fucking bad.

by JohnnyAZ May 31, 2006

kitchen

The ass or general crotch/rear area, generally well-formed and at least partially concealed by clothing.

Jane: Nice kitchen.

Lucy: You too -- let's go back to my place, put on some Melissa Ethridge and get Sappho!

by JohnnyAZ May 17, 2006