JohnnyAZ's definitions

sappho

Of or relating to lesbian behavior or acts.

Jane: I was hanging out with Michelle the other night watching March of the Penguins and doing shots of Cuervo, and suddenly she kicked off her Teva sandals and got all Sappho on me.

Josie: No way! Was she wearing her Raiders sweatshirt?

Jane: She was!

Josie: Beware the Raiders-Cuervo Sappho effect!

Jane: No, it was totally hot! Kiss me!

by JohnnyAZ May 18, 2006

trumpet

A simultaneous rim job and handjob.

J: Did you go home with that guy last night?

M: Yeah.

J: Did you fuck him?

M: No, but my ass is still tingling from the trumpet he gave me.

by JohnnyAZ May 27, 2006

blood, sweat and Carly Simon

Characterized by intensity, introspection, difficulty and analysis, often accompanied by frustrating miscommunication, hurt feelings, sarcasm, long, stacatto text message exchanges, starch, and/or a compulsive need to talk about an event, thing, or situation. Credit to TT for this adept turn-of-phrase.

J: Why are you being so hateful?

E: Why are you?

J: My heart wants you.

E: Everything is so blood, sweat and Carly Simon with you.

J: Kiss me, starchy polar bear.

E: Right on.

<kiss>

by JohnnyAZ May 19, 2006

microwave

To heat up a relationship at an unnaturally speedy rate. Unfortunately, the resulting relationship often is more like a Hungry Man TV dinner than a slow-cooked paella. Again, credit to TT for this clever characterization.

A: So what's new with T and E?
K: Splitsville.
A: No way!
K: Way.
A: Well, they totally microwaved it.
K: Yeah. You'd think they were like lesbians or something.
A: Nope -- just two lonely men wanting something real.
K: Oh fucking well.
A: Too fucking bad.

by JohnnyAZ May 31, 2006

Kappa Alpha Shh

Used in reference to a fraternity boy who secretly enjoys man-on-man action.

Kappa Alpha Shhs are hard to spot because a) in person they display classic frat boy good looks and classic, drunken frat boy behavior, and b) online, they either have no pics or a pic of them snapped at a party, beer in one hand, the other making a feeling fist, with their face cut out mask their identity.

J: Dude, these totally hot guys just moved in next door.
T: Kappa Alpha Shh?
J: Damn, I hope so!

Or...

T: What's with the smile?
J: Just got some awesome head in the library basement bathroom.
T: Kappa Alpha Shh?
J: Yeah, poor guy. But man can he slob!

by JohnnyAZ May 19, 2006

skink

A skanky twink; a slightly sleazy slender gay boi.

A: Have you met Mike's new boyfriend?
J: Nuh-uh.
A: Total skink.
J: Gee, how surprising. Where'd they meet?
A: The kid was hustling outside Wal-Mart.

by JohnnyAZ May 31, 2006

dumbkin

A dumb (badly carved) Halloween pumpkin.

(Credit to Dean at Peggy's expense)

E: Hey Dean, nice Jack o' Lanterns on your porch.
D: Thanks -- the one on the left is mine.
E: Very cool.
D: And the other one's Peggy's...total dumbkin.
E: You're so mean, Dean.
D: It is what it is.

by JohnnyAZ October 16, 2007