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Joao Bufamarillo's definitions

Italian briefcase

Smithers showed up for work carrying his office supplies in an Italian briefcase.
by Joao Bufamarillo May 15, 2005
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boob tube

The new opiate of the people. A electronic box containing a video screen and a speaker, watched by millions of cretins too lazy to go out and get a life. Boob tube watchers get a bad case of half-closed eyes and half-open mouths.
If you watch too much boob tube, you will end up looking like Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel.
by Joao Bufamarillo May 15, 2005
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Portagee

A fine race of people that does not whine about its minority status or beg for special privileges or entitlements. They make great sausages and wine, and work for a living. They never paint their names on other people's property and don't hang out on street corners looking to mug people. They never play BOOM BOOM music in their homes or cars.

You can tell when you enter the Portagee part of town by the neat, clean houses. California Portagees often put abalone shells in their front yards. These are much more attractive than the grafitti that some other people put in their front yards.

In their native country, some Portagees catch sardines for a living. Others are Portagee Wine Stompers.

Connecticut and California have the largest concentrations of Portagees in the USA. In California, look for Portagees in San Leandro, Port Arena, Manchester, and Fort Bragg.

Be sure to go to a Holy Ghost Parade. Everyone is welcome. Lots of Portagee men carry statues of the Holy Virgin down the street. There is always a Queen of the Holy Ghost Parade. Often, she is the girl with the biggest mustache. After the parade, the Portagees gather in a large hall to eat linguisa and Portagee Soup made of kale and pork.

Support your local Portagees. They work hard and pay taxes. They are low maintenance people who stay out of trouble and NEVER beg for government handouts. You are always safe in the Portagee part of town.
Some of your best neighbors are Portagees.
by Joao Bufamarillo May 15, 2005
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binderfender

I went to the city council meeting this morning and let a binderfender while the Mayor was talking. She dropped her notes, and when she squatted to pick them up, she let a binderfender of her own. There was so much laughter, the Mayor adjourned sine die.
by Joao Bufamarillo May 15, 2005
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Detroit iron

A big, heavy, bad-handling car made in Detroit. A road locomotive.

This expression was common in the 1960s when cars that handled well were made in Europe. American cars were oversized, wallowing pigs, and you had to make reservations to go around a corner.
That dude is driving a piece of Detroit iron. Let's moon him, and we can lose him on a winding road.
by Joao Bufamarillo May 15, 2005
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fist

To put your hand up another person's arse. A favorite pastime of turd burglars. (How else could they burgle those turds?)
Bruce and Dennis like to fist each other in front of the movie theater.
by Joao Bufamarillo May 30, 2005
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cop

A POlice. A fuzz. An ossifer of the law.
Hey, Jake, does your dad work for a living?

Nah, he's a cop.

Honest?

Nah, he's an Oakland cop.
by Joao Bufamarillo May 15, 2005
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