Jizzy Jan's definitions

Julumber

A month that you use to get out of things that you don't want to do. Pronounced "Jew-Lumber". It often only makes people think you're a huge a-hole.

Guy 1: Hey when are you gonna get those survey results?

Witty jackass: On the 32 of Julumber

Guy 1: Prick...

by Jizzy Jan January 22, 2010

Schwimmwagon

A boat car-hybrid

Schwimmwagon,get it? Swim-wagon?

by Jizzy Jan January 7, 2010

Fire

Shit that you do not, I repeat, DO NOT WANT TO FUCKING TOUCH!!!

I touched fire one time in hopes of juggling it. Didn't work out well.

by Jizzy Jan February 4, 2010

Put the puzzle together dipshit

A more dickish way to say "no shit"

Not the brightest person: Who did you vote for in the 2008 presidential election?
Me: Sure as hell not McCain
Not the brightest person: So you voted for Obama?
Me: Put the puzzle together dipshit

by Jizzy Jan April 10, 2010

Gravity

1.) Bullshit

2.) A fat person's worst enemy

1.) Me:*Jumps off of the empire state building in hopes of flying*..........*quickly falls toward the ground while screaming"SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIIIIIITTT!!!!!!! GOD DAMN YOU GRAVITY!"*

2.)Rosie O'Donnel(or however the fuck you spell her name i don't care):"Blergh, I tried to get out of bed this morning but my arch nemesis, Gravity, refused to show me mercy"

by Jizzy Jan December 25, 2009

Damn Skippy Hippie

What you say when someone's asks something to you to which the answer is yes.

Guy 1:"Hey I heard you do a good British accent. Is that true?"

Me in a British accent: "Damn skippy hippie."

by Jizzy Jan February 6, 2010

Assgasm

When taking a huggeee crap, right as it drops into the water of the toilet, it creates a huge splash. The water from the splash then shoots up into your rectum causing a cold tingling sensation, somewhat like an orgasm, but cold. Thus causing an assgasm.

me:Dude i had to take a major shit, but the fucking splash gave me an Assgasm.

by Jizzy Jan February 8, 2010