Jake's definitions
by Jake May 6, 2003
Get the dillsmith mug.I told her I was tired of cunnilingus because she had so much twat hair that got in the way, so next time she showed up with a shaved beaver.
by Jake February 3, 2004
Get the shaved beaver mug.Dude THAT guy is a sickoo. He just makes mom jokes all the time trying to be cool in front of his friends. =O
by Jake April 22, 2005
Get the sicko mug.by Jake January 10, 2005
Get the muart mug.Takes place at HER place, never yours.
Get the female to strip naked without you so much as touching or kissing her.
She gets on her hands and knees, lowers her head to the ground (or bed).
Mount the female from behind. Oh, with your clothes on.
Condom is optional, if she makes you wear one, just before you come you pull out and slip it off (lube helps), then re-enter her for a few more strokes.
Pull out, quietly gob (spit) on her ass so she thinks you came.
Then she starts to turn around, jack off in her face, see pearl necklace
Put it away, zip up, and leave without looking at her or saying anything.
(If you did use a condom to the end, pull it off so it drips on her ass, and discard it on her carpet.)
Get the female to strip naked without you so much as touching or kissing her.
She gets on her hands and knees, lowers her head to the ground (or bed).
Mount the female from behind. Oh, with your clothes on.
Condom is optional, if she makes you wear one, just before you come you pull out and slip it off (lube helps), then re-enter her for a few more strokes.
Pull out, quietly gob (spit) on her ass so she thinks you came.
Then she starts to turn around, jack off in her face, see pearl necklace
Put it away, zip up, and leave without looking at her or saying anything.
(If you did use a condom to the end, pull it off so it drips on her ass, and discard it on her carpet.)
I was the one whose turn it was to fall on the grenade so I went home with the sealfuck, did her donkey kick style, and left right after. I could hear her crying as the door closed behind me.
by Jake March 2, 2004
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Get the sumo mug.One who enjoys tatooing dirty homosexual phrases upon the genetalia of their fruity companions. Not be be confused with a mere toatooist tatooing a penis, the cock author does it solely for pleasure and not for profit.
Hans: Were you invited to Bjorn's tatoo party?
Wilhelm: I wouldn't go over there if I were you. He's not a tatooist. He's a freakin cock author.
Hans: Oh shit...
Wilhelm: I wouldn't go over there if I were you. He's not a tatooist. He's a freakin cock author.
Hans: Oh shit...
by JakE May 21, 2007
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