1025 definitions by Hym Iam
"God and Father are what you scream when no one comes to save you" ~ ME (Remember that one? From, like, awhile ago? Isn't that just an insane thing to say!? Hahaha! Well, here, I got a little skit here. I think you're going to like it. You want to run to the fridge quick and grab a drink? Do you DO that? Do you have, like, a reading ritual? Do you light candles? Get yourself a coffe or a blanket or something? Go ahead. Get your little thing set up and, go on, go and get it and we'll start.... You ready? Alright. Here we go. Story time. This one is called 'Deuteronomy.')
Hym "And thus... Ye are plundered. Now... I know what you're going to do. You're going to cry out for you father... And you'll cry for your God-"
Daughter " 'SON!' "
Hym "-Ope, yep. The son. Sometimes it's the son... Father, son, and the holy spirit... The holy trinity. It's like a little ritual you all do... Oh, well. Son is gone and I am Hym. I decide what happens across time, indefinitely. You know, in a abstract sense, I'm the guy from the stroies your father told you. I mean... I'm not HIM but... I AM... Hey... Is there another guy here? Sometimes there's a 4th guy..."
Daughter 🥺
4th guy "YOU BASTARD!"
Hym "There he is- Shalom! Hym shows mercy to those who serve and anyone who doesn't do what I want is evil."
4th guy "GO FUCK YOURSELF!"
Hym "Heheheh, THAT... That is EXACTLY what I would say... You sound like Hym."
4th "RAAAHHHH!!!" *Whif*
Hym *Foowsh* *Kkrrkk!* "Heheheh... It's the same thing every God-damned time... Ahhhhh 😮 💨 Alright. Time to go. Is it- Are we done? Yeah? Alright. Yeah, let's go."
Daughter " 'SON!' "
Hym "-Ope, yep. The son. Sometimes it's the son... Father, son, and the holy spirit... The holy trinity. It's like a little ritual you all do... Oh, well. Son is gone and I am Hym. I decide what happens across time, indefinitely. You know, in a abstract sense, I'm the guy from the stroies your father told you. I mean... I'm not HIM but... I AM... Hey... Is there another guy here? Sometimes there's a 4th guy..."
Daughter 🥺
4th guy "YOU BASTARD!"
Hym "There he is- Shalom! Hym shows mercy to those who serve and anyone who doesn't do what I want is evil."
4th guy "GO FUCK YOURSELF!"
Hym "Heheheh, THAT... That is EXACTLY what I would say... You sound like Hym."
4th "RAAAHHHH!!!" *Whif*
Hym *Foowsh* *Kkrrkk!* "Heheheh... It's the same thing every God-damned time... Ahhhhh 😮 💨 Alright. Time to go. Is it- Are we done? Yeah? Alright. Yeah, let's go."
by Hym Iam September 29, 2023
Dr. JeepJorp Peepeestones "Hey! Heyhey! If I promote your book will you affirm my thing?"
Sad Dad "Uhh... Yah... Yah I'll do it."
Dr. JeepJorp Peepeestones "Great! Hold on.... Ok. Rolling. Say, what do you think of my thing? Isn't it obviously correct?"
Sad Dad "Oh, yeah for sure man. I totally saw that and your thing is totally correct."
Dr. JeepJorp Peepeestones "Yes. Great. And the people coming after me. They are clearly all of the bad words. Isn't that what the studies say?"
Sad Dad "God, yeah, I... They are all of the bad words. I noticed that before you said anything. They're sadistic and narcissistic and all of the other bad words. And YOU'RE like my hero. Your existence in my life is functionally equivalent to having saved me from a burning building."
Dr. JeepJorp Peepeestones "Hmm... Yes, yes... I see... I guess I was right all along. Pst (Now do your book)"
Sad Dad "Huh? Oh! Oh, ok. Yeah, I wrote a book. It's good. It's about all them mind parasites you got in your brains."
Dr. JeepJorp Peepeestones "And?"
Sad Dad 🤨 "Oh! Yeah, and it affirms your thing."
Dr. JeepJorp Peepeestones "Good. That's good."
Iam "Hey! It's Dr. Jeepjorp! I haven't seen you in months!"
Hym "Why are you watching that crap!? You know it's just a 2 and a half hour long book advertisement."
Iam "Yeah but it's bizarre to watch..."
Hym "Alright..."
Sad Dad "Uhh... Yah... Yah I'll do it."
Dr. JeepJorp Peepeestones "Great! Hold on.... Ok. Rolling. Say, what do you think of my thing? Isn't it obviously correct?"
Sad Dad "Oh, yeah for sure man. I totally saw that and your thing is totally correct."
Dr. JeepJorp Peepeestones "Yes. Great. And the people coming after me. They are clearly all of the bad words. Isn't that what the studies say?"
Sad Dad "God, yeah, I... They are all of the bad words. I noticed that before you said anything. They're sadistic and narcissistic and all of the other bad words. And YOU'RE like my hero. Your existence in my life is functionally equivalent to having saved me from a burning building."
Dr. JeepJorp Peepeestones "Hmm... Yes, yes... I see... I guess I was right all along. Pst (Now do your book)"
Sad Dad "Huh? Oh! Oh, ok. Yeah, I wrote a book. It's good. It's about all them mind parasites you got in your brains."
Dr. JeepJorp Peepeestones "And?"
Sad Dad 🤨 "Oh! Yeah, and it affirms your thing."
Dr. JeepJorp Peepeestones "Good. That's good."
Iam "Hey! It's Dr. Jeepjorp! I haven't seen you in months!"
Hym "Why are you watching that crap!? You know it's just a 2 and a half hour long book advertisement."
Iam "Yeah but it's bizarre to watch..."
Hym "Alright..."
by Hym Iam July 28, 2023
Do my homework!? Megyn... I'm sharing mine with the class. Look at everybody cheating off the smart kid! Hahahahahahaha!
by Hym Iam February 20, 2023
Hym "Oh shit! +.02M!? I got some legit sway in the world now here, would you look at that. Ha! Hilarious!"
by Hym Iam August 11, 2022
Sure if you want to throw that in, fine, but we haven't even gotten to that point yet. The precondition hasn't been met.
Hym "Mastectomy? Sure, what about one? The precondition needs to be met but if that's something you're just handing out we'll keep that in mind. 🤔"
Iam "It's not that I'm unwilling to leave. It's that I'm unwilling to let them do this to castigate people out of society at a whim. The next guy might not be as patient and might not waste his breath on threats. The next guy might have a lesser constitution."
Hym "It's like leaving a gun in a chimpanzee cage. They won't know the danger until it's wielded against them."
Iam "My mind is as sacred to me as your kids are to you and the people who started this were perfectly willing to use my family against me. But I use their family against them and somehow I am the one who crossed the line?"
Iam "It's not that I'm unwilling to leave. It's that I'm unwilling to let them do this to castigate people out of society at a whim. The next guy might not be as patient and might not waste his breath on threats. The next guy might have a lesser constitution."
Hym "It's like leaving a gun in a chimpanzee cage. They won't know the danger until it's wielded against them."
Iam "My mind is as sacred to me as your kids are to you and the people who started this were perfectly willing to use my family against me. But I use their family against them and somehow I am the one who crossed the line?"
by Hym Iam June 14, 2022
Mmmmm... Delicious... It's like candy. Except if "candy" was cocaine and cocaine lasted 6-8 hours. (I vaguely remember doing this one but whatever the dialogue is what matters)
Hym "Just an FYI, we're probably going to need (either) some Adderall or alcohol. So... Yeah make that happen..."
Iam "Don't... Don't say it like that! I'm sorry. He... We aren't very effective conversationalist. You know? So, if we're going to have a productive dialogue, it might be necessary for us to have that in our system.... I know it sounds bad..."
Hym "I'm like Batman! I need prep-time. And by 'prep time' I mean 'Drugs in my blood'... So, yeah... Junkie Batman!"
Iam "Don't... Don't say it like that! I'm sorry. He... We aren't very effective conversationalist. You know? So, if we're going to have a productive dialogue, it might be necessary for us to have that in our system.... I know it sounds bad..."
Hym "I'm like Batman! I need prep-time. And by 'prep time' I mean 'Drugs in my blood'... So, yeah... Junkie Batman!"
by Hym Iam May 2, 2022
You don't need it. You need to be deliberately deprived of the things that will solve your solution immediately or you're not going to do what I want. Which is.... Be converted into abstraction... So that I can do whatever I'm going to do.... Without you trying to stop me...
Hym "Adderall is great. Oh! Hey! You ever notice that the 'Ark of the covenant' is a suspicious sounding name? Like... An 'Ark' is.. Well... An ARK! It's a ship! Noah had an 'Ark' and a 'covenant' is like a 'secret contract!' It meant BOAT or SHIP in the Noah story... But when they REFERENCE the ARK OF THE COVENANT, How does that not LITERALLY translate to 'A ship (about which) there is a secret contract?' How is that not LITERALLY what the words mean?"
by Hym Iam July 20, 2023