Hansonpaulsey's definitions

Cappy

Noun: A father who doesn't pay child support and gradually loses contact with his children.

"My dad hasn't talked to me in years and he doesn't even help out my family financially anymore. He's such a cappy."

by hansonpaulsey November 22, 2009

Sintention

Noun: Someone's only intention of doing something is to commit a sin.

Examples:

To talk to a man or woman with the main intention if having sex.

To be friends or nicer than usual to someone with the intention of using them for his or her possessions or hook-ups.

"My only sintention of actually talking to this stupid girl is to have sex with her."

by hansonpaulsey November 22, 2009

Devil's Swirly

Noun: The act of repeatedly dunking a person's head into a toilet while/after they vomit; usually done to someone who is puking as a result to consuming too much alcohol.

"While Mike began puking into the toilet after being unaware of his alcohol consumption limits, Chris began giving him a devil's swirly."

by hansonpaulsey November 9, 2009

Bloom

Verb: The act of having explosive diarrhea and accidentally getting feces on your balls; the act of defecating on someone else's balls in order for them to be pleasured by the act.

"Damn. After that Chipotle we ate last night, I ended up accidentally blooming. My balls looked like they were dipped in chocolate."

"Sandy bloomed on my balls last night before sex. The warmth turned me on to no end."

by Hansonpaulsey October 14, 2009

Spanky

Noun: A slap someone endures across the face with a thinly sliced piece of meat; usually done with lunch meat or a patty of a fast food burger.

"Since Mike wouldn't shut up at the McDonald's drive-thru, I opened up his greasy McDouble and gave him a spanky."

by Hansonpaulsey October 12, 2009

n00dz?

Noun: A question( proposing someone to send nude pictures) that is usually asked to seem "un-serious" or "sarcastic" to see if the person will in fact send nude pictures.
If answered with a yes, the proposer will then ask to see them.
If answered with a no, the proposer will then act as if they weren't being literal and quickly change the subject to avoid embarrassment.

Text message conversation:
Guy: "Sup girl?"
Girl: "Not much, just uploading some pictures."
Guy: "n00dz? ;"
Girl: "What am I, 14? I don't do that."
Guy: "Haha I know, I was kidding... anyway, how are you?"

by Hansonpaulsey October 12, 2009

Ass Trash

Noun; After taking a shit and being unaware that you are out of toilet paper, your next best option is to search in the trash can next to you for any wiping material;

usually results in using:
-paper towels used previously to clean your sink
-toilet paper used to previously clean the top of the toothpaste
-previously used stridex pads
-previously used tampons wrapped up in toilet paper
-previously used tissues used to blow your nose
-the cardboard cylinder of the recently run-out toilet paper

"After eating chipotle, Mike rushed to the bathroom in order to drop his deuce. Afterwards, he realized that he was completely out of toilet paper. He then remembered his next best option: ass trash. Mike had to refer to wiping his ass with his mother's previously used vaginal pad.

by hansonpaulsey October 25, 2009