Hansonpaulsey's definitions

Bowel Towel

Noun; After taking a shit and being unaware that you are out of toilet paper, your next best option is to use a towel conveniently hung near the toilet.

"After Michael dropped a deuce, his next best option was the bowel towel hanging next to the tub."

by hansonpaulsey December 27, 2009

Gripjob

When an overly-excited or inexperienced girl attempts to give you a handjob but then ends up choking your dick to the point that it almost isn't worth it anymore.

9th grader: "Dude did you get some friday night!?"
another 9th grader: "Yeah but the girl gave me a gripjob and now it hurts to piss."

by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009

Sintention

Noun: Someone's only intention of doing something is to commit a sin.

Examples:

To talk to a man or woman with the main intention if having sex.

To be friends or nicer than usual to someone with the intention of using them for his or her possessions or hook-ups.

"My only sintention of actually talking to this stupid girl is to have sex with her."

by hansonpaulsey November 22, 2009

Vahvahduhvava

Noun: The sound Captain Falcon makes on his third consecutive jump in the Nintendo 64 game "Super Smash Bros."

"Captain Falcon Jumps: C^ C^ Vahvahduhvava"

by hansonpaulsey January 12, 2010

Flesh Cave

Noun: An extremely loose-lipped vagina

"My dick was practically lost in her flesh cave."

by hansonpaulsey November 9, 2009

Fraker

Noun: A person who lies about everything in order to have someone never be able to get to know the real them; a freak liar; someone in a bar who uses a different alias in order to have a one night stand without ever having to hear from the person ever again.

"Damn dude, party last night was crazy. Ended up meeting this chick, telling her she was so perfect for me, I would just love to date her and get to know more about her. That way she let me fuck her without thinking it'd be a one nighter. But definitely not going to call that bitch."
"Well aren't you afraid that she'll call you or look you up and come to your house if you don't get back to her?"
"Haha nah dude, I was a fraker last night so it's straight."

by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009

Wingmom

Noun: A mother in which will help her son get laid, usually at a bar or a large gathering. This method of bringing along a wingmom is much more rewarding because it comes off to women as a man being sensitive and a family-man rather than a future one-night stand;
exactly like a wingman, but it's your mom.

"I haven't gotten laid in forever. Luckily, I'm going out for some beers with my wingmom tonight."

by hansonpaulsey December 1, 2009