Hansonpaulsey's definitions

n00dz?

Noun: A question( proposing someone to send nude pictures) that is usually asked to seem "un-serious" or "sarcastic" to see if the person will in fact send nude pictures.
If answered with a yes, the proposer will then ask to see them.
If answered with a no, the proposer will then act as if they weren't being literal and quickly change the subject to avoid embarrassment.

Text message conversation:
Guy: "Sup girl?"
Girl: "Not much, just uploading some pictures."
Guy: "n00dz? ;"
Girl: "What am I, 14? I don't do that."
Guy: "Haha I know, I was kidding... anyway, how are you?"

by Hansonpaulsey October 12, 2009

Spanky

Noun: A slap someone endures across the face with a thinly sliced piece of meat; usually done with lunch meat or a patty of a fast food burger.

"Since Mike wouldn't shut up at the McDonald's drive-thru, I opened up his greasy McDouble and gave him a spanky."

by Hansonpaulsey October 12, 2009

Devil's Swirly

Noun: The act of repeatedly dunking a person's head into a toilet while/after they vomit; usually done to someone who is puking as a result to consuming too much alcohol.

"While Mike began puking into the toilet after being unaware of his alcohol consumption limits, Chris began giving him a devil's swirly."

by hansonpaulsey November 9, 2009

Ass Trash

Noun; After taking a shit and being unaware that you are out of toilet paper, your next best option is to search in the trash can next to you for any wiping material;

usually results in using:
-paper towels used previously to clean your sink
-toilet paper used to previously clean the top of the toothpaste
-previously used stridex pads
-previously used tampons wrapped up in toilet paper
-previously used tissues used to blow your nose
-the cardboard cylinder of the recently run-out toilet paper

"After eating chipotle, Mike rushed to the bathroom in order to drop his deuce. Afterwards, he realized that he was completely out of toilet paper. He then remembered his next best option: ass trash. Mike had to refer to wiping his ass with his mother's previously used vaginal pad.

by hansonpaulsey October 25, 2009

Chocolate Milk

The sexual act of a man cumming into a woman's mouth after she gives head and immediately after the woman squirts chocolate syrup into her mouth, swishes it around, and then swallows.

Willy Wonka's gay lover used to adore drinking Willy's chocolate milk. But then his test results came back...

by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009

609

A threesome involving two sexual partners performing a 69 on one partner which is reasonably fat.

619 is the same as a 609, but with a skinny partner in the middle.

"The only fat guys that will ever get the chance to 609 are rich celebrities."

by hansonpaulsey February 13, 2010

Wingmom

Noun: A mother in which will help her son get laid, usually at a bar or a large gathering. This method of bringing along a wingmom is much more rewarding because it comes off to women as a man being sensitive and a family-man rather than a future one-night stand;
exactly like a wingman, but it's your mom.

"I haven't gotten laid in forever. Luckily, I'm going out for some beers with my wingmom tonight."

by hansonpaulsey December 1, 2009