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Hansonpaulsey's definitions

Bowel Towel

Noun; After taking a shit and being unaware that you are out of toilet paper, your next best option is to use a towel conveniently hung near the toilet.
"After Michael dropped a deuce, his next best option was the bowel towel hanging next to the tub."
by hansonpaulsey December 27, 2009
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Gripjob

When an overly-excited or inexperienced girl attempts to give you a handjob but then ends up choking your dick to the point that it almost isn't worth it anymore.
9th grader: "Dude did you get some friday night!?"
another 9th grader: "Yeah but the girl gave me a gripjob and now it hurts to piss."
by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009
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A Spicy Michael

To let out a flatulent or "rip ass" into someone's mouth while they are asleep or unaware;

also known as a "Snappy Cassy" when a girl quiffs into someone's mouth.
"I gave Dillon a spicy michael after he passed out at the party."
by Hansonpaulsey October 14, 2009
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Fraker

Noun: A person who lies about everything in order to have someone never be able to get to know the real them; a freak liar; someone in a bar who uses a different alias in order to have a one night stand without ever having to hear from the person ever again.
"Damn dude, party last night was crazy. Ended up meeting this chick, telling her she was so perfect for me, I would just love to date her and get to know more about her. That way she let me fuck her without thinking it'd be a one nighter. But definitely not going to call that bitch."
"Well aren't you afraid that she'll call you or look you up and come to your house if you don't get back to her?"
"Haha nah dude, I was a fraker last night so it's straight."
by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009
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Wingmom

Noun: A mother in which will help her son get laid, usually at a bar or a large gathering. This method of bringing along a wingmom is much more rewarding because it comes off to women as a man being sensitive and a family-man rather than a future one-night stand;
exactly like a wingman, but it's your mom.
"I haven't gotten laid in forever. Luckily, I'm going out for some beers with my wingmom tonight."
by hansonpaulsey December 1, 2009
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d8

Noun: A date you have with someone over the internet or over xbox live;

usually a designated time to get online to talk to this specific person
"I have a hot d8 tonight!"
"Oh yeah? Where at?"
"Me and HotChick69 are meeting in a private chat-room at 8:30."
"Nice! Maybe you'll get some n00dz!"
by hansonpaulsey November 8, 2009
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Sleeping Drill

The act of masturbating before going to sleep;
usually done in order to fall asleep faster and more relaxed;
the "sleeping pill" drill.
"I was on a horrible sleeping schedule all summer and now that school starts tomorrow, I'll have to perform a "sleeping drill" in order to fall asleep at a decent time tonight."
by hansonpaulsey November 8, 2009
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