Goofnut's definitions

Fat Back

An extremely fat person.

Look at that huge fuckn’ fat back. Prolly ain’t seen his dick since grade school. He’s gotta weigh 500 pounds.

by Goofnut May 30, 2024

Maskne

The zits that grow under your COVID mask.

After a month of wearing my Covid mask, I have maskne zits the size potatoes.

by Goofnut June 13, 2020

Avian Judo

Flipping the bird.

Practicing avian judo will get you tossed from the game.

by Goofnut June 2, 2021

Pillow Factory

A group of self-serving people, organizations, businesses, politicians, publishers, commentators, captains of industry and the like, who pedal their fuckery to the willing masses. Shitbags. Lowlifes.

Uncle Rudy thinks that the ultra-conservative media and Donald Trump, et al, are a pillow factory.

by Goofnut February 1, 2022

Kohoutek

A comet discovered in 1973 that was predicted to be the “comet of the century.” Songs, plays and novels were written about it and buildings were named after it. But it turned out to be a bigger flop than Mitch McConnell’s career as a high jumper.

The word is synonymous with overrated and oversold events which totally fucking fizzle.

Putin, fat and topless on a stallion, Kohoutekked Russian masculinity while simultaneously spotlighting the “size of the prick on that horse.”

by Goofnut June 27, 2022

Five

Five-wheeler

Most US states imprint a small wheelchair emblem on the license plates of “handicapped” drivers. Thus, the emblem constitutes a fifth wheel for a handicapped driver’s vehicle, thereby rendering the car a five-wheeler.

Since losing a leg to diabetes, Roger drives a five-wheeler to the donut shop.

by Goofnut April 1, 2025

Nostrildamus

Something you can smell before you see or hear it (e.g., shit, fire, dirty pussy, politicians, etc.) .

James’ inner nostrildamus knew when the pie was ready.

Suzy was such a nostrildamus for finding trouble.

by Goofnut June 2, 2021