Goofnut's definitions

Boating

When you drive your car through a large puddle of water in the gutter of a street so fast that you soak pedestrians walking alongside said road with a huge and filthy wave.

During yesterday’s rainstorm, we went boating in my pickup truck and soaked a fat jogger with a dirty wave so big it knocked his hat off.

by Goofnut March 16, 2023

Five-Wheeler

Five-Wheeler

Most US states imprint a small wheelchair emblem on the license plates of “handicapped” drivers. Thus, the emblem constitutes a fifth wheel for a handicapped driver’s vehicle, thereby rendering the car a five-wheeler.

Since losing a leg to diabetes, Roger drives his five-wheeler to the donut shop.

by Goofnut April 1, 2025

Hurriquake

When an area simultaneouly experiences a hurricane and an earthquake (i.e., Los Angeles).

When the hurriquake hit, my house collapsed and was swept away. Another version of this would be a second Trump presidency.

by Goofnut August 20, 2023

Fucknacity

A natural instinct for being a fuck, douche bag, jerk or asshole. Variations: fucknacious (adjective) and fucknaciously (adverb).

You gotta’ have a lot of fucknacity to fart in church.

by Goofnut April 12, 2021

Biofemale

A female who appears like and conducts themselves like the gender she was born as.

Sally delivered her baby last nigh. I suppose that means Sally is a biofemale

by Goofnut May 27, 2023

Balldust

Dried, crumbly semen.

After Dick had a wet dream, he woke up the next morning with balldust in his boxers.

by Goofnut April 13, 2018

Maskhole

1. Any jerk who refuses to wear a face mask during the COVID-19 pandemic.
2. Any jerk who mocks people wearing facemasks during the COVID-19 pandemic.
3. Any jerk who tries to remove your face mask during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Some maskhole pulled off the nurse’s N95 mask.

by Goofnut May 31, 2020