Frank Rider's definitions

Blue Valentine

Tom Waits' fifth studio album, from 1978, Blue Valentine is an amazing work of art. This album was really the turning point between classic Waits, and the more avant-garde Waits. His voice became much more gravelly in his hiatus, and he added more low-lifes and hard-lucks to the songs. One of the best songs he has ever recorded is here, Romeo Is Bleeding, along with $29.00, and Blue Valentines.

An excerpt from Blue Valentine's-
A Sweet Little Bullet From A Pretty Blue Gun

I'd rather die before I wake
Like Marilyn Monroe
And throw my dreams out in
The street and the
Rain will make em grow

by Frank Rider August 23, 2009

Filipino Box Spring Hog

1. The fourteenth song on Tom Waits' 1999 album, Mule Variations.

2. A term for any strange or disgusting new food. If you can't figure out a food's name or ingredients, you may call it this.

Rattle snake piccata with grapes and figs
Old brown Betty with a yellow wig
Tain't the mince meat filagree
And it ain't the turkey neck stew
And it ain't them bruleed okra seeds
Though she made them especially for you
Worse won a prize for her bottom black pie
The beans got thrown to the dogs
Jaheseus Christ, I can always make room
Cookin' up a Filipino Box Spring Hog

by Frank Rider August 22, 2009

Big Time

Big Time, from 1988, was Tom Waits' second live album, but it was his tenth release. Waits did a tour called Big Time which was taped and became a little known movie of the same name, and there was an album of the songs released. There are two new songs on the album, but all recordings of old songs are new. Falling Down and Strange Weather are the originals, though the latter was from the stage version of Frank's Wild Years. This is an amazing album, with beautiful versions of already perfect songs.

An excerpt from Big Time's-
Strange Weather

Will you take me across the Channel,
London Bridge is falling down
Strange, a woman tries to save
What a man will try to drown
And he's the rain that they predicted,
Its the forecast every time
The rose has died because you picked it
And I believe that brandy's mine

by Frank Rider August 23, 2009

A and B the C.O.D.

Above and Beyond the Call Of Duty

That work you did is really A and B the C.O.D.

by Frank Rider August 22, 2009

The Black Rider

This album was the studio version of the music from Tom Waits, Robert Wilson, and William S. Burroughs play; The Black Rider: The Casting of the Magic Bullets. And, it was Waits' twelfth album. It's quite beautiful, and also quite varying. It has some songs that are exciting; like The Black Rider, some that are depressing; like The Last Rose Of Summer, and some that are absolutely weird; like Oily Night. It's guaranteed to give you nightmares and steal your soul, but sorry - no money back.

An excerpt from The Black Rider's-
November

With my hair slicked back
With carrion shellac
With the blood from a pheasant
And the bone from a hare
Tied to the branches
Of a roebuck stag
Left to wave in the timber
Like a buck shot flag

by Frank Rider August 23, 2009

Crap Shoot

A crap shoot is a view of the future, seeing it as variable and dynamic, and totally unforeseeable. Besides the fact that it is slightly more black than the present.

"What are you doing friday?"

"I don't know. it's a crap shoot."

by Frank Rider August 22, 2009

OHSHIT moment

An OHSHIT moment is the instant between the pain and screaming, or the first time you smell Paris Hilton's cooch. (Maybe a mix of both.) Any sort of moment where you are bound to freak out has an OHSHIT, big or small. Here you may yell out a shitplitive, begin to cry, or crap yourself. Or all three.

(An example of an OHSHIT moment)

In Johnny's head-

'OHSHIT, definitely not having kids now.'

by Frank Rider August 22, 2009