Frank Rider's definitions

Crap Shoot

A crap shoot is a view of the future, seeing it as variable and dynamic, and totally unforeseeable. Besides the fact that it is slightly more black than the present.

"What are you doing friday?"

"I don't know. it's a crap shoot."

by Frank Rider August 22, 2009

Real Gone

The sixteenth album by "self proclaimed junk-man," Tom Waits, released in 2004. With fifteen full length tracks, and a hidden one, it's a beautiful seventy minutes. The music on the album seems to be a cross between waitsian and mechanical. Metropolitan Glide is one of the odd ones here, it's quite grainy and loud. Dead and Lovely is a sad story of a girl dying because she lied about who she was. Another great is How's It Gonna End, about murder, lies and gossip. Waits is darker than ever, and still just as beautiful.

An excerpt from Real Gone's-
Don't Go Into That Barn

Black cellophane sky at midnite
Big blue moon with three gold rings
I called Champion to the window
And I pointed up above the trees
That's where I heard my name in a scream
Coming from the woods, out there
I let my dog run off the chain
I locked my door real good with a chair

by Frank Rider August 23, 2009

OHSHIT moment

An OHSHIT moment is the instant between the pain and screaming, or the first time you smell Paris Hilton's cooch. (Maybe a mix of both.) Any sort of moment where you are bound to freak out has an OHSHIT, big or small. Here you may yell out a shitplitive, begin to cry, or crap yourself. Or all three.

(An example of an OHSHIT moment)

In Johnny's head-

'OHSHIT, definitely not having kids now.'

by Frank Rider August 22, 2009

Co Co

A nick name for Conan O'Brien, given to him by Tom Hanks on the Tonight Show.

Conan hates being called Co Co

by Frank Rider August 23, 2009

Shitplitive

A shitplitive is an expletive invented in an OHSHIT moment, and can be amazing, but is usually forgotten in the pain or excitment.

"Fuck monkeys on a shit log! That sonafawhore hammer just hit my thumb!"

"Wow John, cool it with the shitplitives."

by Frank Rider August 22, 2009

Sithter

1. A sister so evil she could have been the inspiration for Darth Vader, Count Dooku, or any of the other evil Star Wars people.

It's difficult to use sithter in a sentence....

I did it!

by Frank Rider August 23, 2009

Mule Variations

This album was Tom Waits' 1999 release, and his thirteenth. The songs range from Big in Japan, a smooth but tough rock song, to Come On Up To the House, a powerful telling of a world's troubles. Waits did good again, striking a strange chord with Chocolate Jesus, and tugging your thought strings with Black Market Baby.

An excerpt from Mule Variations'-
Get Behind the Mule

Punctuated birds on the power line
In a Studebaker with the Birdie Joe Joaks
I'm diggin' all the way to China
With a silver spoon
While the hangman fumbles with the noose, boy
The hangman fumbles with the noose
Got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow

by Frank Rider August 23, 2009