Frank Klaune's definitions

shit and shove it

Humourous phrase relating to an exasperating incident. Shortly after 11 a.m. on a sultry August afternoon, Winky was riding in the back seat of the limosine as it cruised down the highway. He suggested to his driver, "It's almost noon. Find a place to stop for lunch." The driver drove on, eyeing the countryside with no rest area to be found. About 11:45, Winky said, "Okay now, find a roadside stop for lunch" and the driver continued to search as he drove on. Around 12:45, Winky now exasperatedly said, "Stop at the nearest stop. We WILL have lunch." The poor driver still didn't see a roadside stop, so when they drove through a small town, Winky excoriated his driver mercilessly saying, "I told you already to find a place to stop for lunch, damnit." The hapless driver shot back, "I've been looking and looking but honest... there hasn't been any rest areas!' At this, Winky angrily ordered the driver to pull into the little city square they were approaching. There, at theat unlikely location they all had a very late lunch. They then loaded the cooler back into the limosine and proceeded out of the little Nowheres-Ville in which they had their impromptu lunch. About a mile out of the town, they finally happened upon a roadside stop. After hours of hapless travelling without respite, the poor driver announced to Winky, "Hey, there's a roadside stop." Upon seeing the sign on the side of the road, Winky shot back, "OH SHIT AND SHOVE IT!"

Frank first had a check engine light. Then he got a brake light. Then an alternator light and an oli light. When the seat belt light went on, he got out, put a brick on the gas pedal, reached through the window and dropped the lever into "Drive". As the car squealed off the cliff, he yelled after it, "SHIT AND SHOVE IT".

by Frank Klaune April 17, 2005

silly swords

Common game for young males, "silly swords" involves using two (or more) competing streams of urine as if they were swords in a sword fight. Unlike a pissfight or pissing contest, urinating on the competition is never allowed. The urine stream is only used against the other person's stream, just like a sword fight.

Jimmy and Frank were in the back yard playing silly swords.

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

packing house

Analogy used to describe the awful, horrid, putrid stench area otherwise known as "the zone" which often surrounds the easy chair in which "'Ol Fuse" is sitting. This is particularly true on an evening when he's in rare form after a meal of flatulent fart factory food.

(On any given Saturday evening with a full moon, a poor victim innocently wanders into the living room) "So, what's on TV? Is there anything tha... (and our hapless victim now stumbles into "the zone") "..wha... AUUGGGHHHHHH!!! OH FOR GOD'S SAKE, FUSE, GO TAKE A SHIT! IT SMELLS LIKE A PACKING HOUSE IN HERE!!!"

by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005