Frank Klaune's definitions

Shithouse Poet

Widely-acclaimed anonymous author of infamous wit and wisdom written on the stalls and walls of many bathrooms. The "Shithouse Poet" is believed to actually be a number of different individuals acting in nearly every state of the United States. Much to the chagrin of janitors, the Shithouse Poet leaves his nuggets (pardon the pun) of wit and wisdom in the form of well-crafted prose and poetry through various means in batrhooms throughout the U.S.A.

Some examples:

"They scrub these walls to stop my pen,
but the Shithouse Poet strikes again.
The erased words are all my life.
I'll next engrave them with my knife."

And...

"Here I sat all broken hearted.
Tried to shat, but only farted.
So today I took a chance.
Now I say I shit my pants.
Tomorrow I decide my fate.
I'll borrow a quart of Kaopectate."

by Frank Klaune January 22, 2005

dickstick

In nominal terms, a dickstick is another term for a dildo. By extrapolation, "dickstick" is a Tomism (see Tomism) and used as a mild insult to one's intelligence. Useable as a substitute for "dipshit", "dickstick" usually indicates one's displeasure of another person's actions.

P1: "Hey, Tom look. Frank just took the last piece of pizza."

T: "Oh, that dickstick! I didn't even get to eat any!"

by Frank Klaune March 15, 2004

packing house

Analogy used to describe the awful, horrid, putrid stench area otherwise known as "the zone" which often surrounds the easy chair in which "'Ol Fuse" is sitting. This is particularly true on an evening when he's in rare form after a meal of flatulent fart factory food.

(On any given Saturday evening with a full moon, a poor victim innocently wanders into the living room) "So, what's on TV? Is there anything tha... (and our hapless victim now stumbles into "the zone") "..wha... AUUGGGHHHHHH!!! OH FOR GOD'S SAKE, FUSE, GO TAKE A SHIT! IT SMELLS LIKE A PACKING HOUSE IN HERE!!!"

by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005