Frank Klaune's definitions

longshot

Contest similar to "silly swords" or "pissing contest" where two (or more) males stand behind a straight line and urinate as hard as they can. The winner of "longshot" is the one who is able to piss the farthest.

"Mike and Frank were in the back yard playing longshot. Mike won, but I think he shit his pants straining."

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

pissalorium

Humourous term for the restroom (or "WC" in Europe). It gives the user an air of vain intelligence and sophistication to apparently use a Latin term when, in reality, the user is probably too stupid to even know Pig Latin. See also "Leakatorium" and "poopalorium"

Damn, that quart of beer went right through me. Gentlemen, please excuse me. Frank, where's your pissalorium?

by Frank Klaune January 26, 2005

blat

1) Anoter one of many terms designating a type of fart. The "blat" is designated by an explosive blast of rectal gas. While the sound is ferocious, the smell is usually deadly. However the duration (of both the blat and the people standing around the blat-ter) is very brief (pun intended).

2) The type of fart typically associated with "Ocky" and "Clutcher" in the less-well-known comic series of the same name.

3) Designating one of the the two most obnoxious sounds of the tuba. In this context, the term is often spelled "blatt" and associated with "the other" obnoxious sound of the tuba, the "woop". Often the two sounds are grouped together (e.g. "blatting and wooping").

1) We were playing cards when all at once... BLAT! Grodie let one go, and the game was immediately called off.

2) BLAT!

3) Tubas... we're going to try that again. This time without the blatting and wooping.

by Frank Klaune November 21, 2004

clipped dick

1) A male with a circumcised schlong (putz).

2) The actual dong itself with it's "permanent haircut".

3) By extension, the term has also been used to describe entire groups of people who practice circumcision for religious, cultural or other reasons. "Clipped dick" has been noticeably applied as slang for Jewish people.

There goes Frank. He's got a clipped dick.

There goes Frank. He's a clipped dick.

by Frank Klaune January 2, 2005

Cleveland Rewind

An extremely sick, disgusting joke which is occasionally done in frat houses, public toilets or the home of your enemy. The "Cleveland Rewind" consists of un-hinging a toilet paper roll from it's holder, pull out a considerable portion of the paper, and very carefully wipe one's ass on the portion in the middle, then "rewinding " the roll back, and replacing it into the dispenser. Thus, a subsequent patron gets shit on their fingers. The "Cleveland Rewind" supposedly gets its name from the equally disgusting "Cleveland Steamer" term.

Man, some asshole did a Cleveland Rewind on me and I got a handful when I was trying to wipe!

by Frank Klaune November 20, 2004

über moron

One of many possible fun uses of the über prefix. An über moron represents the pinnacle of pea-brain, the apex of asshole and the depth of dipshit. An über moron embodies the highest (or is that the lowest) level of stupid, home-grown, industrial strentgh, heavy duty idiocy.

Damn, we just convinced Frank that he grew up on a mayonnaise farm. Now he's looking it up online. Man, he's such an über moron!

by Frank Klaune March 21, 2005

Polish fly swatter

The spash screen placed in the bottom of a urinal to stop spattering pissors from getting ocean spray on their trousers. The Polish fly swatter often is embedded with a urinal cake or scented sustance to enable you to spend many hours of enchanting sniffing in such a delightful environment.

Damn, what the hell? Some sick bastard stuck a Polish fly swatter in my gym bag last night!

by Frank Klaune February 20, 2005