Frank Klaune's definitions

electric slide

When a dog (or any animal or even an unruly spouse) has an itchy anus and proceeds to drag it on the ground to soothe the burning anal itch. Typically a dog will sit down, pull the hind legs up in the air and use the frong legs to propel across the floor.

Damn, Frank had the minister and his wife over at their house, and while they were having tea in the living room, Zippy sat right in front of them and did the electric slide. How embarassing!

by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005

take a shit

Aside from the relatively obvious use of the phrase (to designate defecation), "take a shit" as a phrase can apply to mechanical devices. An apparatus which wears out or breaks down at a very inconvenient time can be said to "take a shit".

"I told Frank to fix those worn lifters on his car engine but he didn't listen to me. Then when he went on vacation he was crossing the rockies when it took a shit on him. It ruined his vacation."

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

soften the meat

Phrase used to describe a police officer's application of the baton upside the head of some stupid bastard who deserves it.

Frank was watching "COPS" last night when we were over. We watched some dudes who stole some poor lady's car and went on a high speed chase all over town. They rammed several cop cars then totalled the stolen car on an embankment. Damn, it was good to see the officers soften the meat on the driver!

by Frank Klaune May 1, 2005

shaken not stirred

Phrase used to diffrentiate between the act of shaking of the schlong (after urination) as compared to the act of masturbation. The phrase is best illustrated in the military when a drill sergeant barks at a recruit (who is urinating), "more than than three shakes is pleasure and that's not what you're here for.' The original phrase "shaken not stirred" has an obvious root in the James Bond movies, but also serves a different context. In this sense it is often used in contempt.

We were in a hurry, but Frank had to piss first. Damn, but he took forever in the mens room. Mike was getting pissed off and joked that maybe he was beating off. I finally stuck my head in the door and yelled, "LET'S GO! SHAKEN, NOT STIRRED!"

by Frank Klaune May 1, 2005

walking waste of sperm

The ultimate insult. Reserved for only the most hateful, stupid, obnoxious or contemptible people known.

That islamic suicide bomber killed several innocent people. What a walking waste of sperm he was.

by Frank Klaune January 26, 2005

dickstick

In nominal terms, a dickstick is another term for a dildo. By extrapolation, "dickstick" is a Tomism (see Tomism) and used as a mild insult to one's intelligence. Useable as a substitute for "dipshit", "dickstick" usually indicates one's displeasure of another person's actions.

P1: "Hey, Tom look. Frank just took the last piece of pizza."

T: "Oh, that dickstick! I didn't even get to eat any!"

by Frank Klaune March 15, 2004

click it and stick it

A phrase used by many American right-thinking, freedom-loving people who are keenly aware of the continual erosion of civil rights, privacy and disintigration of Constitutional liberties brought on by whiney, liberal nanny-state do-gooders who think big government is needed to protect individuals from themselves.

I was riding in Frank's car, napping in the passenger seat when the cop pulled us over. I got ticketed for not wearing my seat belt. Seat belt, my ass... it's now an oppression belt! I say CLICK IT AND STICK IT!

by Frank Klaune November 21, 2004