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Frank Klaune's definitions

scratch the patch

Literally, for one to "scratch where it itches", in particular to scratch the genital area. Often seen as a sign of some disgusting disease or STD.
Man, Frank was picking up that chick in the bar, but when he saw her scratch the patch, he flipped her off and left. I think he figured she had VD or crabs or something.
by Frank Klaune November 13, 2004
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dial tone

To hit or smack another with unmerciful velocity. Often used in the context of a sports game, it indicates a severe body blow. See ring the bell.
Damn, when Frank flipped off the other driver, the guy jumped out of his car and dial toned him right then and there.
by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005
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spray paint

The forceful, sometimes violent expulsion of liquid shit into the toilet at high velocity. The "spray paint" term relates to the viewing of the underside of the toilet seat and the general condition of the toilet bowl which is usually well sprayed with dumpage.
"Man, I had such a gut cramp, I ran to the bathroom and let go with spray paint. Damn, it's a good thing we're at Frank's house. I wouldn't want to clean that up at my house."
by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004
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ahs-wee-pay

Less commonly as of late, it is the phonetic, literal pronounciation of "asswipe" (said usually with a fake foreign accent). The term is used as a direct replacement for "asswipe" just with the foreign-sounding pronounciation for any of a number of stupid reasons.
"Hey ahs-wee-payyyy... wot's up mon?"
by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004
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butt rust

The off-brown discoloration inside the undershorts. Butt rust, also known as "skid mark" is usually the result of high pressure farting and / or lack of sufficient wiping of the anus.
"Damn, Frank sure has butt rust on his undies here."
by Frank Klaune March 5, 2004
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bouquet of penises

A contemptable situation. Any despised turn of events. The phrase is used in a sarcastic tone and is intended as a portrayal of one's disgust for a given situation.
The vacation sucked. The RV broke down, the dog shit in the tent twice, the weather was hot, then rainy, and we were out of beer. Man, that trip was about as fun as a bouquet of penises.
by Frank Klaune November 23, 2004
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bladder buster

(n) Any of the ubiquitous, huge, outrageously obnoxious soft drink containers sold in convenience stores. They get larger each year and before long, some nut will weld a crash-bar to a 55 gallon drum, walk into a Kum-n-Go and expect a 59 cent refill. The bladder buster has gotten so large that no vehicle's cup holder can hold them. When you urinate after drinking one, the fire department's hazmat team is summoned and the EPA files an incident report.
Damn, Frank filled his bladder buster at the truck stop and then we had to stop every 20 minutes of the trip so he could squirt the dirt.
by Frank Klaune February 2, 2005
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