6 definitions by Dr. Schlaktus
Jessica Alba is a Perpetual Fuck. If I was blessed with a Schlaktus I'd make her the happiest woman on this planet, if she isn't already.
by Dr. Schlaktus April 7, 2009
A poor dickless fuck who loves books even though he can get pussy. After reading a well written book he will masturbate on the pages.
Billy: Yo dude Pamela Anderson and her beautiful twin sister are here to fuck us!
Joe: But dude! I'm reading this great book called Brave New World and maasturbating all over the pages
Billy: Dude they were totally gonna have sex with us, why do you have to be such a Book Fucker..
Joe: But dude! I'm reading this great book called Brave New World and maasturbating all over the pages
Billy: Dude they were totally gonna have sex with us, why do you have to be such a Book Fucker..
by Dr. Schlaktus March 10, 2009
A Miserable Fuck is someone who has had such a shitty life that no other phrase could possibly describe it. This kind of person has had so many shits taken in their happy meals that their life is just unbearable. Miserable Fucks typically can't get any pussy and stick to their books, they don't drive cars and ussually have other people drive them around. They don't hold a job, dress decently, or shave. They masturbate their (generally small) penis so frequently that even if they did get pussy it would fail to function by age 25.
Me: Hey man you wanna go to the have sex with beautiful lesbian women all night club? I'm paying.
Bro: Nah man I'm to busy masturbating my (generally small) penis extremely frequently.
Me: Dude, you're like a textbook definition of a Miserable Fuck.
Bro: Nah man I'm to busy masturbating my (generally small) penis extremely frequently.
Me: Dude, you're like a textbook definition of a Miserable Fuck.
by Dr. Schlaktus April 7, 2009
Any Female GI is a GI Ho. She is typically stupider and weaker then her male counterpart and never makes it quite far. She makes up for this with her extreme violent, vigourous, sexually deviant, greasy butt sex. She never is the reciever and gladly will shove her strap on penis into every guy she meets, much to their discomfort.
I met this great girl at the bar last night she seemed so nice until I got her home. She knocked the fucked out of me and took her pants off revealing a strap on which she then slammed into my butthole. It hurt as bad as getting a schlaktus shoved in there! I guess she must've been a GI Ho
by Dr. Schlaktus March 9, 2009
A woman so repulsive that when you look at her your eyes automatically well up and expeirience excruciating pain. The very sight of an Eye Strainer is enough to make some men go blind.
Dude my girlfriend had me go with her to the Oprah Winfrey show. My god, that woman was such an Eye Strainer I thought my dick would explode.
by Dr. Schlaktus March 10, 2009
When something happens in your life that's so bad its like getting a fresh delicious Happy Meal when you're starving to death opening the bag and seeing a big wad of shit on top!
by Dr. Schlaktus April 7, 2009