Dictionnaire Diabolique's definitions

cc-ebomber

Machiavellian colleague who regularly sends out passive-aggressive emails, cc-ing everyone, whose sole purposes are to: take credit for other people’s work; cast aspersions on colleagues; and give their superiors the impression that they’re taking care of business. As you might expect, cc-ebombers are much-loved by ill-informed management, and much-despised by those who actually have to work with them.

Can't stand that guy. He's such a cc-ebomber.

by Dictionnaire Diabolique January 23, 2017

dis-disease

People afflicted with this condition become pathologically obsessed with disrespect. They keep a detailed record of every past “dis” (real or imagined) and prayerfully page through a hateful little Naughty List each and every day.

If you wanna know what advanced dis-disease looks like, listen to that crazy meth-head Pennsatucky talk: “She disrespected me. Now, I’m gonna have to kill her.”

by Dictionnaire Diabolique January 25, 2017

networker

A person who treats human beings like instruments and pretends to care about people they don’t care about because they think they might be useful to them at some point in the future. Networkers are often very good at active listening.

God, I hate that guy! Never stops scheming. He's such a networker.

by Dictionnaire Diabolique January 23, 2017

nostalgiagasm

An emotionally ejaculatory experience brought on by an intense wave of nostalgia.

Had an intense nostalgiagasm last night whilst listening to The Pet Shop Boys . It was actually too much. Had to turn it off right in the middle of "Being Boring".

by Dictionnaire Diabolique January 25, 2017

appetude

Hunger-induced bitchiness.

Look, I know it’s been a long ride, but I’ve had just about enough of your appetude.

by Dictionnaire Diabolique January 23, 2017

alternative facts

Bullshit.

Grant was caught having sex with his wife's best friend. And there was smoking-gun proof: a sex-tape made by a private investigator hired to check up on him. But Kellyanne says she can get him off. She's gonna present his wife with some alternative facts.

by Dictionnaire Diabolique January 30, 2017

active listening

Pretend listening.

That Greg guy's sales numbers are crazy high because he's really good at active listening (i.e., he's really good at making you feel like he's listening to you).

by Dictionnaire Diabolique January 25, 2017