DD Alwhiney's definitions

Grandpa wisdom

The advice your grandpa or any random old person has ever given you which you can apply to everyday life situations

Me- I gotta go to the bathroom but it’s full, I really need some grandpa wisdom
Me thinking back deep in my conscience and remembering that my grandpa always said when the bathroom is full soon your pants will be full..... of shit

by DD Alwhiney July 9, 2019

snapchat delusion

The delusion that comes with being on Snapchat and constantly thinking you look like your filtered version of yourself

Girl: Posts clearly filtered picture
Guy: Hey we know that really isn’t you and that you’re not really a cat
Girl: Dont be hating cause you think I’m cute
Guy: She clearly has Snapchat delusion

Girl: *snap* look at me shimmering and having day

by DD Alwhiney December 13, 2019

Prostate Exam

Prostate Exam is an exam where a doctor digitally examines your prostate.

Guy -Hey man, when I went to my Prostate Exam and you said it was a digital exam, you really should have specified that digital meant his fingers and not numbers.
Friend- You ok?
Guy- I don’t wanna talk about it

by DD Alwhiney May 18, 2019

Sticky Notes

Small piece of paper with adhesive on the back where notes can be written and then placed in proper locations to help with memory associated to a past or future event.

I can’t believe she forgot to deliver that message. I give her sticky notes to remember these things. I need to leave myself a sticky note to get more sticky notes so people start remembering to tell me things.

by DD Alwhiney May 19, 2019

Oilfield Mafia

A group of individuals employed in the oilfield industry who feel obtaining liquid gold gives them a god like complex. Unfortunately in most cases this group is usually comprised of men who wear dirty jeans even on days off to simulate working all the time and possess below average IQs and penis size. These downfalls are usually compensated with large trucks and even larger tires.

Wife: The neighbors are always staring at me because we can’t have a car that’s not a truck with an oilfield mafia sticker on the back.

Husband: I will spit in anyone’s face who disrespects that sticker. Those school teachers didn’t teach me anything compared to what my brothers taught me.

Wife: I want a divorce

Husband: Hell yeah brother, single life, oilfield mafia.

Wife: Blank stare, leaves slowly

by DD Alwhiney June 8, 2019

Dome

A way of letting a male friend know that you want to give them some type of compliment to help boost their spirits.

Male 1 - Hey bro wanted to give you some dome and let you know that’s a nice shirt you got on today.

Male 2 - Wait! What did you just say?

Male 1 - Bro, every time I try and give you some dome you make it all awkward

by DD Alwhiney June 15, 2019

Intervention

A word made popular by the TV Show and real life practice of a group of people “intervening” in a person’s life to help them with a particular problem. The more practical way to perform this involves physical violence against the person to help correct the behavior.

Friend 1- Hondo needs our help man we want to set up an intervention when he gets here.
Friend 2 - Yeah you’re right let me get my hand wraps
Friend 1- why do you need hand wraps?
Friend 2 - I’m not trying to hurt my wrists when we beat him
Friend 1- wait you think we need to beat him?
Friend 2- yeah he needs a real intervention, someone get the lights and as soon as he walks in he’s gonna get the intervention he deserves

by DD Alwhiney June 16, 2019