DD Alwhiney's definitions

Oilfield Mafia

A group of individuals employed in the oilfield industry who feel obtaining liquid gold gives them a god like complex. Unfortunately in most cases this group is usually comprised of men who wear dirty jeans even on days off to simulate working all the time and possess below average IQs and penis size. These downfalls are usually compensated with large trucks and even larger tires.

Wife: The neighbors are always staring at me because we can’t have a car that’s not a truck with an oilfield mafia sticker on the back.

Husband: I will spit in anyone’s face who disrespects that sticker. Those school teachers didn’t teach me anything compared to what my brothers taught me.

Wife: I want a divorce

Husband: Hell yeah brother, single life, oilfield mafia.

Wife: Blank stare, leaves slowly

by DD Alwhiney June 8, 2019

Prostate Exam

Prostate Exam is an exam where a doctor digitally examines your prostate.

Guy -Hey man, when I went to my Prostate Exam and you said it was a digital exam, you really should have specified that digital meant his fingers and not numbers.
Friend- You ok?
Guy- I don’t wanna talk about it

by DD Alwhiney May 18, 2019

Sticky Notes

Small piece of paper with adhesive on the back where notes can be written and then placed in proper locations to help with memory associated to a past or future event.

I can’t believe she forgot to deliver that message. I give her sticky notes to remember these things. I need to leave myself a sticky note to get more sticky notes so people start remembering to tell me things.

by DD Alwhiney May 19, 2019

Intervention

A word made popular by the TV Show and real life practice of a group of people “intervening” in a person’s life to help them with a particular problem. The more practical way to perform this involves physical violence against the person to help correct the behavior.

Friend 1- Hondo needs our help man we want to set up an intervention when he gets here.
Friend 2 - Yeah you’re right let me get my hand wraps
Friend 1- why do you need hand wraps?
Friend 2 - I’m not trying to hurt my wrists when we beat him
Friend 1- wait you think we need to beat him?
Friend 2- yeah he needs a real intervention, someone get the lights and as soon as he walks in he’s gonna get the intervention he deserves

by DD Alwhiney June 16, 2019

Front hitters

Another word to use for a female’s breasts. This is a good substitute and slightly classier than tits, jugs, boobies, or bitties.

Guy 1: Dude did see the girl they hired?

Guy 2: No?

Guy 1: Yeah some white chick with no ass but some great front hitters. I hope she comes by and talk to us.

Guy 2: No girls ever talk to me, I think it’s how I carry myself

by DD Alwhiney November 3, 2019

Napber

A word that people will try to find different justifications for but is just not a word

Hey how was your nap?
It was great

So it was like the Amber of all naps?? A napber
That’s not a real word

by DD Alwhiney August 11, 2019

Plase

Another way of saying the common English phrase “please” but with more urgency

Worker 1: Can you cover this shift for me?

Worker 2: Are you gonna be out of town?
Worker 1: No, not really
Worker 2: No not really isn’t an answer

Worker 1: Plase!!!

by DD Alwhiney November 20, 2020