D.S. Credito's definitions

Masturbreaker

A person for whom masturbation is so vigorous an activity that, in the process of self-pleasuring nearby objects become broken or damaged.

My old roommate was a masturbreaker. His room always looked like there had just been an earthquake.

by D.S. Credito March 9, 2015

challenging

Excessively or unnecessarily burdensome, complicated, difficult or stressful.

I had a very challenging childhood. My parents pushed me through school and out into the real world without giving me an ounce of real love.

by D.S. Credito March 13, 2015

wealthy selfie

a self-posted image to social media that features a flashy display of large quantities of money

What's up with the wealthy selfie? Who you think you are, P. Diddy?

by D.S. Credito March 9, 2015

never-was

a person who has not achieved success or fame, despite considerable effort. Unlike a has-been, who at least had once enjoyed noteworthy stature, a never-was simply fails to become prominent. Normally refers to a person unsuccessful in athletics, the entertainment industry, or other creative arts.

Plural - never-weres

Although he'd written a few catchy songs in his heyday, he attracted little fanfare and hung up his guitar after deciding that in the world of music, he hadn't been destined to become anything more than a never-was.

by D.S. Credito February 21, 2015

real job

steady employment with fixed salary and working hours, as well as potential for growth and advancement. Having a real job may mean working in a field that is incompatible with partying, taking drugs, or assuming an otherwise unconventional lifestyle.

People with so-called real jobs might enjoy high salaries, but what they trade off is the chance to experiment and discover what they truly want out of life.

by D.S. Credito March 5, 2015

ballad salad

an album or other compilation of overly sentimental or romantic songs.

Once upon a time, Aerosmith was a real hard rock band. But since the 1990s, they've just been putting out album after album of ballad salads.

by D.S. Credito March 12, 2015

college

where dreamers can go to secure a plan B for their future employment prospects

Jenny always wanted to be a singer-songwriter, but her parents persuaded her to choose English as a college major, for a fallback plan. She later married a 1950s-style brute who orders her to edit all of his work-related documents and to have dinner on the table by five every night. Life can be so tragic sometimes.

by D.S. Credito March 5, 2015