D F Stuckey's definitions

builds character

Any task, activity or event which is painful, humiliating, upsetting, violent or distressing to the person experiencing the said task, activity or event.

A sarcastic use of the phrase, as most people believe that the difficult events in our lives contribute the most to our character and personality. Sadly, pyschologists would tend to agree; Not for the better in many cases.

A:"My boyfriend just called. . . He's left me!"
B:" Really?"
A:" For my BROTHER!!!! (Sniff)"
B:"Well . . . It builds character, something like that. . . "
A:"Oh, go kiss a walrus!"

by D F Stuckey July 8, 2004

games workshop

Manufacturers of wargaming miniatures and rules for using such. Critics describe their work as one-dimensional, overpriced, larger than scale, and decry their habit of invalidating entire ranges of miniatures by redrafting rulebooks every four years. Adherents praise their work as accessible, market leading, pioneering new scales for detailing purposes, and utilising the latest in bleeding edge demographic-tailored marketing strategies.

What is certain is that through shipstone operations on allied companies, a clever exclusivity campaign and various strategies they have become the largest wargaming company in the world; Though, in spite of their claim, not the only one.

a:"Games Workshop just released a new edition of Warhammer!"
b:"Gee, after five tries, you think they'd get it right . . . "

by D F Stuckey February 20, 2004

playing face invaders

Term for fellatio, usually used by females who are unwilling to perform the act due to demanding clumsy or unappreciative lovers.

"Oh hell, Simon's bound to want to play Face Invaders tonite if I go around to his place!"

by D F Stuckey February 18, 2004

quorn

An edible protein that is not animal or vegetable based, developed in Europe. Quorn is a fungus and therefore not animal or vegetable, although bichemically similar to animals on the cellular level, so is a good source of nutrition. The organism from which Quorn is harvested is a batch-grown form of the tinnea fungus that causes athletes foot in humans.

" How do you like the stirfry? I used quorn instead of chicken for a change."

by D F Stuckey March 9, 2004

Celibacy

Often confused with Chastity, celibacy is an abstinence from sex that is correctly performed on a permanenet basis. The Catholic Church defines the only foolproof method of Birth Control as being "Chastity outside of marriage and Celibacy within marriage."

A:"What's the difference between Celibacy and Chastity?"
B:"Chastity means no sex while you are single. Celibacy means no sex while you are breathing"
A:"Wow, that means the True LOve Waitskids are in for a nasty shock after they get married then die . . . "

by D F Stuckey February 18, 2004

meanwhile, back at the ranch

A quote line to introduce a new topic of conversation, or to end a particualarly embarrassing line of talk.

Derived from the old horse operas where action at one point was interrupted to go to the ranch in question; This line being spoken by the narrator in order to assist the hard of thinking. ( A hold over from radio narration style )

A;"Anyway, how did your date with Sarah go?"
B:'OK, I guess . . . Did you know she was a hermaphrodite?"
(Silence)
A:"Meanwhile, back at the ranch . . . "

by D F Stuckey May 4, 2004

lucy lawless

1. A female actress from New Zealand, born in the suburb of St. Lukes in Auckland. Came to prominence after a minor career in Europe with the role of Xena, in "Hercules" and her own titular role. Like most admired gay icons, Lucy Lawless is heterosexual. Currently head of Board of Govenors for the Starship National Children's Hospital of New Zealand.

2. To expose one's breast accidentally at a sporting event, as per Lucy's performance at an ice hockey game.

1. "Hey, who's that tall girl next to agent Scully? Hey, it's Lucy Lawless!!"

2. "The question is, did HJanet set it up, or was it a Lucy?"

by D F Stuckey February 16, 2004