Cuntoleezza Rice's definitions
A skidmark often found in Mormon Underwear. This is a very common phenomena, as Mormons are not allowed to remove their undies and eventually dig deep while scratching their ass.
Jacob tried to avoid leaving a Mormon Trail by placing Mormon Panty Liners in his buttcrack. Unfortunately he enjoyed the sensation a little too much and woke up one morning with Mormon Crotch.
by Cuntoleezza Rice May 16, 2008
Get the Mormon Trail mug.1. An especially skilled prostitute.
2. The Catholic Church as defined by fucktard Fundamentalist Christian evangelist John Hagee
2. The Catholic Church as defined by fucktard Fundamentalist Christian evangelist John Hagee
John Hagee obviously doesn’t know the difference between a great whore and a bunch of kid diddlers. Maybe he should wake up and pull the straw out of Fred Phelch’s ass.
by Cuntoleezza Rice May 18, 2008
Get the Great Whore mug.A female astronaut who traveled 950 miles wearing a diaper to attack the "other woman" in a love triangle.
CAPTAIN: Keep your hands off him bitch!
VICTIM: Yuck, what's that smell? You must be Captain Poopypants.
VICTIM: Yuck, what's that smell? You must be Captain Poopypants.
by Cuntoleezza Rice February 10, 2007
Get the Captain Poopypants mug.1. The hole in Jesus' side or hand when used for sexual pleasure. See crucifuck.
2. Texas Governor Rick Perry's nickname for his Prison Wallet.
2. Texas Governor Rick Perry's nickname for his Prison Wallet.
Rick Santorum was so horny he was obsessed with getting him some Jesus Hole (a crucifuck). Unfortunately, Jesus had been MIA for 2000 years and Santorum had to go off to the bathhouse for some pussy on a stick. Having left his Mormon Panty Liners at home he left with a Mormon Trail of santorum in his Mormon Underwear.
by Cuntoleezza Rice August 25, 2011
Get the Jesus Hole mug.Fred Phelps plans to serve Santorum Coladas at the Westboro Baptist Church's next Holy Communion. Here's how to make a Santorum Colada:
3 oz light rum
3 tbsp coconut cream
3 tbsp crushed pineapples
1 shot of santorum*
Put all ingredients into an electric blender with 2 cups of crushed ice. Blend at a high speed for a short length of time. Strain into a collins glass and serve with a straw to felch it down. Top with frothy santorum.
*If you don't have any santorum on hand you can fake it as follows: Combine 1/4 cup of AstroGlide in a blender with a dollop of shit. Beat to a heavy froth.
3 oz light rum
3 tbsp coconut cream
3 tbsp crushed pineapples
1 shot of santorum*
Put all ingredients into an electric blender with 2 cups of crushed ice. Blend at a high speed for a short length of time. Strain into a collins glass and serve with a straw to felch it down. Top with frothy santorum.
*If you don't have any santorum on hand you can fake it as follows: Combine 1/4 cup of AstroGlide in a blender with a dollop of shit. Beat to a heavy froth.
by Cuntoleezza Rice September 5, 2012
Get the Santorum Colada mug.Ann Coulter loved it when her time of the month came around and she could listen to tunes on her iPad.
by Cuntoleezza Rice October 23, 2009
Get the iPad mug.From the rustling and heavy breathing I could tell pastorbation was occurring just beyond the confessional wall.
by Cuntoleezza Rice November 10, 2006
Get the pastorbation mug.