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Cuntoleezza Rice's definitions

rapturebate

1. To masturbate while thinking about the Rapture, Mark of the Beast, Great Whore of Babylon, etc.

2. To diddle one's ass while imagining getting Rapture Fucked by Harold Camping.
1. As Rick Santorum stood in the shower thinking about the Rapture his hands moved slowly downward and he began to Rapturebate. He imagined finally being able to tap the Jesus Hole. Yes he knew the Lord was coming soon. Yes coming. coming soon, coming soon...

2. Renowned felcher Pat Robertson stuck four fingers up his saggy old prison wallet and dreamed of his favorite fantasy Sodomy Clown, Harold Camping.
by Cuntoleezza Rice November 13, 2011
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blumpkindred spirit

A "new friend" found while cruising for sex in a public men's room. The new friend will perform a special sex act (a blumpkin) without even making the recipient get off the toilet.
Repugnican Senator Larry Craig sat down on the crapper and assumed his usual wide stance. He moved his foot toward the next stall thinking the guy next door might want a blowjob while he was taking a dump. He soon realized the guy was an undercover cop, not a blumpkindred spirit.
by Cuntoleezza Rice October 28, 2007
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prostipork

Sausage produced from pigs fed from ground-up prostitutes. This exotic food was invented by a mass murderer in Vancouver, BC, who ran an entertainment venue on his farm known as the Piggy Palace.
Hey baby, how much to take you back to the Piggy Palace and turn you into prostipork?
by Cuntoleezza Rice January 30, 2007
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pedocurious

1. A foot fetishist obsessed with placing cotton balls between his partner's toes.
2. A person exploring but not yet fully committed as a foot fetishist.
3. A odd or unsightly pedicure.
The pedocurious minister's favorite scripture was from Romans 10:15 - "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"
by Cuntoleezza Rice January 4, 2007
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twaddle

1. To waddle due to an object inserted in one's bearded taco.

2. To diddle one's twat.
1. She inserted the dildo into her vagina and twaddled off to work.

2. She's so preoccupied she must be twaddling.
by Cuntoleezza Rice February 4, 2007
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Mormon Trail

A skidmark often found in Mormon Underwear. This is a very common phenomena, as Mormons are not allowed to remove their undies and eventually dig deep while scratching their ass.
Jacob tried to avoid leaving a Mormon Trail by placing Mormon Panty Liners in his buttcrack. Unfortunately he enjoyed the sensation a little too much and woke up one morning with Mormon Crotch.
by Cuntoleezza Rice May 16, 2008
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Mormon Panty Liners

Special Holy sanitary pads used by Mormon women to protect their Mormon Underwear from "the curse". These are sometimes also used by Mormon men to avoid being embarrassed by Mormon Crotch.
1. Naomi didn't want the class to know she would be unclean for a week, so she used Mormon Panty Liners to hide the shameful stain.

2. Upon seeing his 13-year-old bride, Jeremiah immediately developed Mormon Crotch. Fortunately he had planned ahead, and taped a Mormon Panty Liner over his throbbing member prior to the wedding.
by Cuntoleezza Rice May 12, 2008
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