Cuntoleezza Rice's definitions

rapturebate

1. To masturbate while thinking about the Rapture, Mark of the Beast, Great Whore of Babylon, etc.

2. To diddle one's ass while imagining getting Rapture Fucked by Harold Camping.

1. As Rick Santorum stood in the shower thinking about the Rapture his hands moved slowly downward and he began to Rapturebate. He imagined finally being able to tap the Jesus Hole. Yes he knew the Lord was coming soon. Yes coming. coming soon, coming soon...

2. Renowned felcher Pat Robertson stuck four fingers up his saggy old prison wallet and dreamed of his favorite fantasy Sodomy Clown, Harold Camping.

by Cuntoleezza Rice November 13, 2011

enemasity

A punitive or antagonistic attitude while administering an enema.

As she stroked the anal probe the hefty nurse commented that she was "only doing her job." Her enemasity hoever, was apparent.

by Cuntoleezza Rice January 18, 2007

pussy on a stick

The penis when used as the object of fellation, especially when performed shortly after intercourse with a woman.

He said he didn't do men, so I told him it was pussy on a stick.

by Cuntoleezza Rice November 8, 2006

iPad

A sanitary pad that contains an embedded MP3 player.

Ann Coulter loved it when her time of the month came around and she could listen to tunes on her iPad.

by Cuntoleezza Rice October 23, 2009

pastorbation

Masturbation by a priest while hearing an especially steamy confession.

From the rustling and heavy breathing I could tell pastorbation was occurring just beyond the confessional wall.

by Cuntoleezza Rice November 10, 2006

anusthetic

A soothing mixture of cocaine and vaseline that Fred Phelps sticks up his ass before sitting on a highway cone or other large object. See Goatse.

Westboro Baptist Church pastor Fred Phelps was at a God Hates Fags rally and asked me to find him some anusthetic. Not content with a simple crucifuck or normal act of pastorbation, he had developed an urgent need to shove something very large up his poop chute.

by Cuntoleezza Rice June 4, 2008

Mormon Panty Liners

Special Holy sanitary pads used by Mormon women to protect their Mormon Underwear from "the curse". These are sometimes also used by Mormon men to avoid being embarrassed by Mormon Crotch.

1. Naomi didn't want the class to know she would be unclean for a week, so she used Mormon Panty Liners to hide the shameful stain.

2. Upon seeing his 13-year-old bride, Jeremiah immediately developed Mormon Crotch. Fortunately he had planned ahead, and taped a Mormon Panty Liner over his throbbing member prior to the wedding.

by Cuntoleezza Rice May 12, 2008