Cuntoleezza Rice's definitions
A "new friend" found while cruising for sex in a public men's room. The new friend will perform a special sex act (a blumpkin) without even making the recipient get off the toilet.
Repugnican Senator Larry Craig sat down on the crapper and assumed his usual wide stance. He moved his foot toward the next stall thinking the guy next door might want a blowjob while he was taking a dump. He soon realized the guy was an undercover cop, not a blumpkindred spirit.
by Cuntoleezza Rice October 28, 2007
Get the blumpkindred spirit mug.Fred Phelps plans to serve Santorum Coladas at the Westboro Baptist Church's next Holy Communion. Here's how to make a Santorum Colada:
3 oz light rum
3 tbsp coconut cream
3 tbsp crushed pineapples
1 shot of santorum*
Put all ingredients into an electric blender with 2 cups of crushed ice. Blend at a high speed for a short length of time. Strain into a collins glass and serve with a straw to felch it down. Top with frothy santorum.
*If you don't have any santorum on hand you can fake it as follows: Combine 1/4 cup of AstroGlide in a blender with a dollop of shit. Beat to a heavy froth.
3 oz light rum
3 tbsp coconut cream
3 tbsp crushed pineapples
1 shot of santorum*
Put all ingredients into an electric blender with 2 cups of crushed ice. Blend at a high speed for a short length of time. Strain into a collins glass and serve with a straw to felch it down. Top with frothy santorum.
*If you don't have any santorum on hand you can fake it as follows: Combine 1/4 cup of AstroGlide in a blender with a dollop of shit. Beat to a heavy froth.
by Cuntoleezza Rice September 5, 2012
Get the Santorum Colada mug.The penis when used as the object of fellation, especially when performed shortly after intercourse with a woman.
by Cuntoleezza Rice November 8, 2006
Get the pussy on a stick mug.Britney left in a hurry, neglecting to put on her Magic Underwear. As she exited the limo, the paparazzi exposed her to ClaMedia, causing an epidemic of Mormon Crotch at BYU.
by Cuntoleezza Rice May 16, 2008
Get the ClaMedia mug.From the rustling and heavy breathing I could tell pastorbation was occurring just beyond the confessional wall.
by Cuntoleezza Rice November 10, 2006
Get the pastorbation mug.Ann Coulter loved it when her time of the month came around and she could listen to tunes on her iPad.
by Cuntoleezza Rice October 23, 2009
Get the iPad mug.1. Sexual penetration of someones colostomy site. In rare cases this can be a masturbatory act, depending on the location of the colostomy opening. See sidewinder, ostitute, stomalingus, philly sidecar, clorch
2. A despicable disgusting person. See colostomy bag, gutbag, cobag, assbag
2. A despicable disgusting person. See colostomy bag, gutbag, cobag, assbag
1. I always wanted to throw a good colostofuck into Jerry Falwell. Now that he's dead though a necro-colostofuck seems a bit much.
2. Jerry Falwell was a pompous self-righteous fat colostofuck.
2. Jerry Falwell was a pompous self-righteous fat colostofuck.
by Cuntoleezza Rice June 7, 2007
Get the colostofuck mug.