Cuntoleezza Rice's definitions

fucktitious

An exaggerated or falsified account of sexual activity, usually involving an alleged conquest by the story teller.

Her undeserved reputation as a slut was the result of countless fucktitious stories repeated in the locker room.

by Cuntoleezza Rice January 16, 2007

blumpkindred spirit

A "new friend" found while cruising for sex in a public men's room. The new friend will perform a special sex act (a blumpkin) without even making the recipient get off the toilet.

Repugnican Senator Larry Craig sat down on the crapper and assumed his usual wide stance. He moved his foot toward the next stall thinking the guy next door might want a blowjob while he was taking a dump. He soon realized the guy was an undercover cop, not a blumpkindred spirit.

by Cuntoleezza Rice October 28, 2007

Santorum Colada

A frothy tropical drink made with rum, pineapple chunks and santorum.

Fred Phelps plans to serve Santorum Coladas at the Westboro Baptist Church's next Holy Communion. Here's how to make a Santorum Colada:

3 oz light rum
3 tbsp coconut cream
3 tbsp crushed pineapples
1 shot of santorum*

Put all ingredients into an electric blender with 2 cups of crushed ice. Blend at a high speed for a short length of time. Strain into a collins glass and serve with a straw to felch it down. Top with frothy santorum.

*If you don't have any santorum on hand you can fake it as follows: Combine 1/4 cup of AstroGlide in a blender with a dollop of shit. Beat to a heavy froth.

by Cuntoleezza Rice September 5, 2012

Holy Water

The water that flows from a priest's butthole after an enema.

Father Pedofuck called to the altar boy "Come here son and help me make some Holy Water."

by Cuntoleezza Rice October 23, 2007

gradutate

To blow chunks at one's graduation, usually from consuming too much alcohol prior to the event.

It was quite a graduation regurgitation. The valedictorian gradutated all over the stage.

by Cuntoleezza Rice January 31, 2007

pussy on a stick

The penis when used as the object of fellation, especially when performed shortly after intercourse with a woman.

He said he didn't do men, so I told him it was pussy on a stick.

by Cuntoleezza Rice November 8, 2006

pastorbation

Masturbation by a priest while hearing an especially steamy confession.

From the rustling and heavy breathing I could tell pastorbation was occurring just beyond the confessional wall.

by Cuntoleezza Rice November 10, 2006