bullshitspeak

a language spoken by businessmen and CEOs. Used to confuse the people they're about to steal mad cash from by replacing common concepts with words that sound nice.

Examples include, but are in no way limited to:
Price point = price
Strategically reduced = fired
Capital = ca$h money
Sold at profit = Ripped off
Presented a convincing argument = lied to/threatened
Net worth = Maximum ransom

Great time to buy = We're in the shitter
Great time to sell = I want more shares

Executive board meeting = Vacation in Cancun

Unanimous decision = only the CEO agreed
Profitable relocation = we're moving to China
Unforeseen expenses = another vacation in Cancun
Somewhat suggested = absolutely required
Socialist = anyone who disagreed
Acquire via purchase = Buy
It was in the contract = If you take this to court you won't win
Salesman: "The price point of this house is so high, if you purchase now we can heavily recommend the likely executive redecision committee to select the nearby land for habitat enrichment rather than strategic redevelopment -- that is, if you agree to a slightly more significant lease agreement."

Normal person: "Don't gimme that bullshitspeak. How much do I have to pay so you won't put up the high-rise?"
by Col. Hans Landa December 28, 2011
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Wilkinsburg

pron. n.; "We'll-kill-yins-burg"; a city in Pennsylvania, immediately outside of Pittsburgh's city limits. Known for being dangerously crime-infested. Has been repeatedly denied union with the City of Pittsburgh because of its awful reputation. Also has terrible public schools.
"I rode my bike through Wilkinsburg at noon and I thought I was gonna get mugged."
by Col. Hans Landa August 18, 2011
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straw poll

An extremely unorganized form of voting, usually used by self-appointed leaders when they don't have the desire to actually consider what the group wants but need to make it look like it was a majority decision.
Intramural captain: "Okay dudes, who can make it Monday to practice? Quick straw poll!" (two people out of thirty raise their hands)
Captain: "Monday it is!"
Guy #1: "90% didn't vote."
(Captain shoots Guy #1 in the face.)
by Col. Hans Landa October 04, 2011
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John Galt

The hero of the philosophical epic, Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. John Galt is the perfectly integrated human being who understands the role of man's mind in existence, and acts upon it. It is he who initiates the strike against the secondhanders and saves the world from unreason.

Related terms include the often-asked question Who is John Galt? and going Galt.
"Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world."
by Col. Hans Landa August 24, 2011
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Jefferson Hills

prop. n. A neighborhood in the South Hills of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Inhabited by gods of life, the most beautiful women, and geniuses. Despite this, there is nothing to do. Its high school also fails to reflect the near-divinity of the population.

Also known as "Thomas Jefferson" or "T.J."
L'Maison Eternelle and the Kingdom are two famous houses in the Jefferson Hills.
by Col. Hans Landa August 18, 2011
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#roadtohershey

A Twitter tag commonly used by high schoolers in Pennsylvania to refer to the success of their high school football teams. The name comes from the fact that the WPIAL Championship game is played in Hershey.
42-0 win over NA. #rollvikes #roadtohershey

Beat out by CCHS...no longer on the #roadtohershey :((
by Col. Hans Landa September 30, 2011
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dead pocket

noun; in pool, a pocket where the eight ball has been inadvertently set up early in the game. This essentially means that all other object balls must be deflected from this area to prevent either player from pocketing the eight ball too early and losing the game.
Tony cleverly turned the right corner into a dead pocket, preventing John from scoring on the next shot.
by Col. Hans Landa October 26, 2011
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