Col. Hans Landa's definitions
n. an urban neighborhood primarily inhabited by college students, and located near major universities. A combination of students' low incomes, lifestyles, and constant demand for housing provides landlords no incentive to maintain their properties and locals no incentive to stay. Although shabby, these areas usually have fairly row crime rates when compared with actual ghettos.
Examples include: Oakland in Pittsburgh (Pitt and CMU), Hyde Park in Chicago (UChicago), and the entirety of State College, PA (Penn State)
Examples include: Oakland in Pittsburgh (Pitt and CMU), Hyde Park in Chicago (UChicago), and the entirety of State College, PA (Penn State)
Parent: "The area around the University looks awful!" Tour guide: "Don't worry, ma'am, it's just a student ghetto."
by Col. Hans Landa August 1, 2011
Get the student ghetto mug.prop. n. A neighborhood in the South Hills of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Inhabited by gods of life, the most beautiful women, and geniuses. Despite this, there is nothing to do. Its high school also fails to reflect the near-divinity of the population.
Also known as "Thomas Jefferson" or "T.J."
Also known as "Thomas Jefferson" or "T.J."
by Col. Hans Landa August 22, 2011
Get the Jefferson Hills mug.A very rough scale, usually used in jest, to establish how close you are with a given individual. The friendometer is divided into two sections, acquaintances and friends, which have more specific categories within them:
ACQUAINTANCES
Weak Acquaintance - someone you know by name, and will say hello to
Strong Acquaintance - same as above, may have brief conversation. Friends-of-friends and friends-by-association usually fall into this category
FRIENDS
Weak friend - can have brief, meaningful conversation with, but see rarely. Some friends-by-association can be this.
Friend - the average, you can hang out with this person and have normal, graceful conversation.
Good friend - someone who you chill with a lot and have meaningful conversation
Close friend - someone who you always want to hang out with and can tell almost anything to
Best friend - someone who you would sacrifice a lot for, who you admire and love deeply, and to whom you can tell anything about your life; usually you have 5 or 6 best friends in the whole world, including family members
ACQUAINTANCES
Weak Acquaintance - someone you know by name, and will say hello to
Strong Acquaintance - same as above, may have brief conversation. Friends-of-friends and friends-by-association usually fall into this category
FRIENDS
Weak friend - can have brief, meaningful conversation with, but see rarely. Some friends-by-association can be this.
Friend - the average, you can hang out with this person and have normal, graceful conversation.
Good friend - someone who you chill with a lot and have meaningful conversation
Close friend - someone who you always want to hang out with and can tell almost anything to
Best friend - someone who you would sacrifice a lot for, who you admire and love deeply, and to whom you can tell anything about your life; usually you have 5 or 6 best friends in the whole world, including family members
The friendometer is helpful when trying to assess one's closeness to someone, but obviously like all scales cannot completely describe the way the world operates.
by Col. Hans Landa November 15, 2011
Get the friendometer mug.a language spoken by businessmen and CEOs. Used to confuse the people they're about to steal mad cash from by replacing common concepts with words that sound nice.
Examples include, but are in no way limited to:
Price point = price
Strategically reduced = fired
Capital = ca$h money
Sold at profit = Ripped off
Presented a convincing argument = lied to/threatened
Net worth = Maximum ransom
Great time to buy = We're in the shitter
Great time to sell = I want more shares
Executive board meeting = Vacation in Cancun
Unanimous decision = only the CEO agreed
Profitable relocation = we're moving to China
Unforeseen expenses = another vacation in Cancun
Somewhat suggested = absolutely required
Socialist = anyone who disagreed
Acquire via purchase = Buy
It was in the contract = If you take this to court you won't win
Examples include, but are in no way limited to:
Price point = price
Strategically reduced = fired
Capital = ca$h money
Sold at profit = Ripped off
Presented a convincing argument = lied to/threatened
Net worth = Maximum ransom
Great time to buy = We're in the shitter
Great time to sell = I want more shares
Executive board meeting = Vacation in Cancun
Unanimous decision = only the CEO agreed
Profitable relocation = we're moving to China
Unforeseen expenses = another vacation in Cancun
Somewhat suggested = absolutely required
Socialist = anyone who disagreed
Acquire via purchase = Buy
It was in the contract = If you take this to court you won't win
Salesman: "The price point of this house is so high, if you purchase now we can heavily recommend the likely executive redecision committee to select the nearby land for habitat enrichment rather than strategic redevelopment -- that is, if you agree to a slightly more significant lease agreement."
Normal person: "Don't gimme that bullshitspeak. How much do I have to pay so you won't put up the high-rise?"
Normal person: "Don't gimme that bullshitspeak. How much do I have to pay so you won't put up the high-rise?"
by Col. Hans Landa December 30, 2011
Get the bullshitspeak mug.A Twitter tag commonly used by high schoolers in Pennsylvania to refer to the success of their high school football teams. The name comes from the fact that the WPIAL Championship game is played in Hershey.
by Col. Hans Landa September 30, 2011
Get the #roadtohershey mug.v., coll.; to get drunk on a Sunday night, or, more loosely, at any time when being intoxicated is completely uncalled for. Its origin is unknown.
Joe: "Dude, you nearly fell over that chair! Are you wasted?"
Dale: "Yeah mane, I decided to hilltop tonight bro." (vomits)
Dale: "Yeah mane, I decided to hilltop tonight bro." (vomits)
by Col. Hans Landa October 23, 2011
Get the to hilltop mug.prop. n.; University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, in reality a gigantic corporation almost completely unrelated to said University. Although its Pittsburgh-based chain of hospitals (usually) provides world-class care, UPMC is notorious for opposing competition, free-market capitalism, and above-minimum wage for its employees.
UPMC bought out the small-time Catholic hospital, tore down the historic building, and built a luxury office for its President in its stead.
by Col. Hans Landa August 4, 2011
Get the UPMC mug.