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Chang Tan's definitions

diablo 2

Life draining computer game, players who play it often found themselves devoid of a life, girlfriend, or any other monument of their terrible social abilities.

Gamers ditches school just to spend hours searching of the Ultra Nuklear Oculous of Unanimous Kickass (+2 Skills +3x Immunity to Cold +2000 Magic Damage +Guaranteed Drop of Uniques), rumored to be hidden in a dung sample dropped from Baal's swollen sphinchter.
Diablo 2 Gamer: "OMGz! I just found myself a bitchin' 75x FCR Sorc Ring with 800% Magic Find! God I'm so fucking tired...."

Straight-Thinking Kid: "Neat, I got laid twelve times today. Cool huh? My schlong hurts bad though"

Diablo 2 Gamer: "Haha! You faggot, you got a small dick. Gayass"

Diablo 2 Gamers spasms violently on the floor, blood pouring out of his eyes, then dies from a seizure.
by Chang Tan March 13, 2005
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cowboy

A self-capable farmboy/rancher.

Also may be interpreted as a sleazy barfly of the Old West who frequents taverns, wears cowhide knee-guards, spits chewed tobacco, and believes that a pistol-duel is a excellent problem solver.
Cowboy #1: "Gimme a chaw 'O tobacky will ya?"

Cowboy #2 (technically a "cow girl"): "Naw, you didn't pay me back the chaw I gave you before"

Cowboy #1: "Shutup and gimme the damn chaw woman!"

Cowboy #3: "Don't talk to my wimmin like that!"

Cowboy #3 hurls a fist at Cowboy #1, Cowboy #1 parries the attack easily, and throws another one but misses.

Cowboy #2 stands up from her chair, and lodges both of her fists into the brawler's chins.

Cowboy #2: "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaah!"

Cowboy #1 takes a half-full beer glass and breaks it on the head of Cowboy #3, knocking him unconcious before proceeding to pin Cowboy #2 to the ground and lifting her skirt up.
by Chang Tan December 19, 2004
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clan

A coven of random dorks, either organized locally, as close friends and neighbors, or globally, like halfway across the world.

Their mission? To ruin the fun of casual gamers in mainly FPS shooters like Counter-Strike, Quake, Unreal, etc.

Hours of play behind the screen has given their skin a unhealthy pale complexion.

A common hypothesis for these formations of these "clans", as they may call it, stemmed probably from neglected parenthood.
Casual Gamer (joined a CS server): "Hi!"
Klanner #1: "STFU N00b! We r teh l33t0rz to teh maxx0rz!"
Klanner #2: "Ya u gay azz fagg0t!"

20 minutes later...

Klanner #1: "Omgz! Lolz! Teh fag0rt has 15-30 kills! Banz!"
Admin: "Bye faggot"

Innocent casual gamer gets a kickban...
by Chang Tan December 21, 2004
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kickban

A super-secret technique, executed with precision only by the Admins of Counter-Strike.

Its more of a ban, if you fit a stereotype/demographic/label that the admin does not like, your as they say it, kickbanned.
Player has joined the game

Admin: "OMGz! N00b! BAN!"

Sysop has disconnected Player from the game

Player(1) has joined the game
Player(2) has joined the game
AryanPride has joined the game
WhiteLiekTehMastahRace has joined the game
Shotgunner Sam has joined the game

Admin: "Omgz!"

Sysop has disconnected Player(1) from the game
Sysop has disconnected Player(2) from the game
Sysop has disconnected Shotgunner Sam from the game

TotallyOfTehHizzles! has joined the game

Admin: "Out of my game nigger gay-assed fagg0t!"

Sysop has disconnected TotallyOfTehHizzles! from the game
by Chang Tan December 21, 2004
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retirement home

The deathbed of old people. They check in, they never check out. Before they finally draw their last breath, they are required to live a life of incredible dullness, due to health complications of old folks.
"I'm 60 years old, nothing to do here but to play checkers and eat old corn cobblers, because ham hurts my teeth and bread clogs my arteries."

Heartbeat monitor goes dead...

"Oh dang..."
by Chang Tan December 29, 2004
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barbarian

Big guys who brandishes shiny sturdy weapons and commits mass murder without remorse. Loves meat and women, hates books and intellectuals, especially magic-users. Live fast and die happy...

Also a fighter unparalled in close-combat in Diablo 2, a hack and slash plus sorcery game.
"Me am strong, me throw rock, crawl into my cave to tinkle with me!"
by Chang Tan January 9, 2005
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megatokyo

The "I wish I was Japense fanclub". It features several main characters:

Piro - The webmaster, artist, and main character of the comic. He is portrayed as a innocent pansy nerd, with a kink for Japanese girls and a obsessive sock fetish. Thankfully, his wussiness has restrained him from several potential scenes of rape throughout the comic, thus keeping the material clean for all readers.

Largo - Stereotypical gamer and avid comptuer overclocker, babbles in nonsensical "l33tsp33k", and due to his constant binging, has incredible resistance to physical punishment, which aids him well in his quest to purge all of Japan of "zombies", possibly a fabrication of his manic America Versus Japan culture clashing.

"The Queen" - Archnemesis of Largo, she posesses formidable skills in gaming, rivaling the disillusioned yankee himself. Intrigued by Largo's stubborness to cling onto his assinine beliefs, much of her story involves a complex silent-romance between her and the unwary Largo.

Hayasaka-San - One of the first friends Piro makes in Japan, she works in a game shop downtown. She keeps to herself about her personal life, and fends off sexual predators with voracious ferocity.

Generic Schoolwhore - A teenager of 16, she too has a crush with Piro, and with the pressure of her two bimbo peers, is forced into a shakey relationship with the reclusive twigboy.
Piro - "Oh my god, I'm so stupid! I should have got her drunk and pinned her down to the floor at the bar and had my way with her. But nooo... I wussed out. Stupid! Stupid! STUPID! Time to drown my sorrows with another drawing of sad girls in snow..."

Largo - "OMGz! U teh fag0rt! I teh l33t mast0rz! Git off me l33t n3tw0rk n0de u teh n00b!"

"The Queen" - "Dark, blackness, consuming me, tearing me up from the inside, can't endure for much longer.... tendrils fingering my asshole.... my sanity is about to crack.... death, darkness, destruction...."

Hayasaka-San - "Get any closer to me and i'll break your other arm!"

Generic Schoolwhore - "Kawaii! Oh my god, your so cute! Cutey Cutey Cutey ^-^! Hey handsome, how about a appointment in my apartment at 1908 Hawasaka Avenue, i'll be dressing in that outfit you like.... meet me at 9:00 sharp, and dress SEXY!"
by Chang Tan February 26, 2005
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