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Cap'n Awesome's definitions

five-up

To spend an entire night together and not miss a single high-five.

Comes from the idea that people spending time together will have fun and give each other high fives. Since the geek culture boom in the 80's, it's become much easier for a high-five to miss. If one avoids this tragic accident of pop culture, one has been said to be "five-up."
There was a minute there when I thought Brad was going to miss my hand, but he made it, so we were five-up.
by Cap'n Awesome May 2, 2005
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gwigger

A white woman who acts like a black man.

Yes they exist.
...then this little white ho starts scratchin' her ass! I'm all like "Damn, gwigger!"
by Cap'n Awesome May 2, 2005
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Darwin Awards

An "award" given to people who contribute the most to the evolution of humanity by removing their genes from the gene pool. Sometimes given to people who simply sterilize themselves, but most of the recipiants have ended up dead because of their actions.

Basically, the concept is that people kill/injure themselves to the point where reproduction is no longer possible whilst doing something surrealistically stupid. By insuring that their stupid genes to not spread, they ultimately help humanity and thus recieve an award.

While the concept is funny enough, the actual awards are usually very mean spirited.
by Cap'n Awesome May 18, 2005
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intelltextual

Somebody trying way too hard to be smart via SMS. Types out the entire word, or uses too many words to express a simple thought.
Texter 1: sup man how r u
Texter 2: I'm doing very well! How are you, my friend?

Texter 1: do u guys like paramore
Texter 2: While I have to admit that I find them almost infectiously catchy, any thoughtful examination reveals vapid, trite lyrics and simple arrangements.
Texter 3: not rly

Texter 1: boy i sure love the novels texter 2 sends me
Texter 3: hes so intelltextual lol
by Cap'n Awesome March 28, 2009
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floatin

High.

It means high.

Specifically on weed.
sheeeet i just smoked four bowls im floatin 8)~~~~~~~~~~~~
by Cap'n Awesome April 29, 2005
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Pope

1) (N) Leader of the Roman Catholics.
2) (n) Somebody who is insanely talented, skilled, or generally awesome.
3) (v) To own somebody completly. Sometimes used to describe a quick, violent act that cannot be imagined.
4) (adj) Incredable.
1) So they chose a new pope. I wonder how he feels about abortion.
2) Dude, don't even mess with Sarah, she's'a da' freakin' pope.
3) If I'm waiting at the movies and your brother shows up, I'm going to pope the both of you.
4) When you backflipped off the roof and punched cancer in the balls, that was so pope.
by Cap'n Awesome May 2, 2005
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futureshop!!

A place that does not actually exist, but if it did would provide an immediate solution.

After a heavy dilema is presented, or a period of silence falls, it is appropriate to call out, "Quick! To the futureshop!!" The idea is that the solution will be within the futureshop!!

The two exclaimation points are totally required, even if it isn't the last word in the sentence.
Guy: Crap, I can't find my hat.
Guy2: Quick! To the futureshop!!
_____________________________________

Guy: Hey guys, what's new.
Guy2: Absolutely nothing man. We even tried cleaning out the futureshop!! but even that couldn't break this boredom.
by Cap'n Awesome April 27, 2005
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