Burt Milhorse Eriksson's definitions

statcoulomb

Onomatopoeia: a sound that you make when you accidentally swallow the pit of a peach. Extremely dangerous – you're not a seagul, dude, so don't do it on purpose!

Melvin: "*munch, munch* So, I was sitting there *slurps* perusing through the latest issue of.. *gak* Eeeerp! Eeeerp! *glom* Hnhhhh! Hrrnhngh! *gasp*"
Bob: "Dude! What in the name of Christ almighty are you doing?"
Melvin: "*STATCOULOMB‼* Ahhh, that's better..."

by Burt Milhorse Eriksson April 16, 2021

could of

The most common spelling of "could've" in United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, Ireland, United States, Canada, New Zealand and Australia. It really doesn't mean anything, but it's a bit like myths and urban legends: people are just too lazy to think whether it's true or even plausible.

Joe: "I could of get that shot done though"
Barry: "Facts boi GG though you were totally robbed of that shot by the ref"

by Burt Milhorse Eriksson April 11, 2021

lemonfinger

When one picks one's rectum and then takes the finger to someone's nose and asks: "Do you smell lemon?"

Bob: "Hey, did you ever lemonfinger anyone in school?"
Gary: "Yeah, I did it to my shop class teacher!"
Connie: "Dear bin Laden, please take me now..."

by Burt Milhorse Eriksson April 18, 2021

tank-proofing

When you make a claim that is virtually only listing facts whilst in a debate. Origin: a tank is pieced of metal sheets that are connected to each other with studs and welding seams. The facts used as an argument in a conversation are seen as the metal studs and the welding that keep the tank together.

Bob: "...and that's why gay men have a 200-time bigger probability of getting H.."
Melvin: "Tank-proofing! Tank-proofing! Hate facts! BIGOT!!"

by Burt Milhorse Eriksson June 14, 2021

propinquity

Use this word when you want to seem smart – or stupid. It's your choice, really. (It's all just a big game of fortuna, as it's the other people that form their opinion on you and you cannot really affect that process.) It's the type of word you only see on the "most searched" list of dictionary.com and on Yahoo!'s headlines (the latter-mentioned explains the first-mentioned).

People who have to look up this word are either too smart or "too dumb" and if this being the case, they are also very likely to read Yahoo! News. Why Yahoo! in the first place uses words that are understood only by 0.01‰ (1 out of 100 000) of the population, remains yet unclear. But when you are seen to use this word, people will know (if they're intelligent enough) that you got it from nowhere else than Yahoo! News...

Woody: "The propinquity of these – pardon my sterile approach on the topic – two given objects is inversely proportional to..
Bob: "Why don't you just say "approximity" or "distance" or something?"
Woody: "W-what? I don't.."
Bob: "Yes, you do. Don't play stupid."
Gary: "Yeah, man. Don't use words that are understood only by 3500 Americans – that's what Yahoo! News does."

by Burt Milhorse Eriksson April 12, 2021

legit

Short for "legitimate". NOT short for "legitimately" which is a totally different word. The difference is roughly the same as between "good" and "well" – in case you cared. An extremely popular yet badly understood filler word.

Melvin: "Bill Murray must be legit the most underrated comedian ever!"
Sparky: "IKR? He could've been literally one of the greatest, though."

by Burt Milhorse Eriksson April 11, 2021