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Brett Burkhardt's definitions

Credit Creep

Someone who’s always begging for more credit on an account even though they can’t pay for what they already have.
Ashton was a credit creep who would call all of his credit cards each month to demand a higher credit line even though he never paid them on time.

“Barkeep, I want to open another tab!”
Go fuck yourself credit creep. You still owe $900 from last month and until you pay it off you will have to pay cash.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Knocking at the back door

When someone with a hard on grinds it against your ass while dancing, cuddling, spooning, or just standing behind you.
Tanya loved spooning but hated when her boyfriend used it as an excuse to go knocking at the back door all night.

“That guy at the bar was cute but he was knocking at the back door all night on the dance floor and that’s why I didn’t go home with him. Why bring someone home if you know he’s just packing half a roll of Life Savers in his pants?”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Douche Dispute

When someone disputes a purchase or service for some stupid reason.
That guy had a real douche dispute. He called in to demand free pizza because there were only 30 pieces of pepperoni on his pizza.

“I want to have all my money back from this flight, it was delayed by 45 minutes.”
“Ma’am, we were in the middle of a blizzard, you’re lucky your flight was even able to leave. If you want to continue with this douche dispute, I will be forced to disconnect this call.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Post Secret Poser

Someone who sends in post cards to Post Secret about things that everyone already knows or who brags about their secret being picked.
Josh was a Post Secret poser and would send in post cards every week about the time he pissed his pants at prom. Like no one would figure that one out.

"Tony, don’t be such a Post Secret poser. If you’re going to send in secrets shut up about it."
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Fashion Fool

Someone who spends a fortune on clothes and shoes that look like shit.
We all laughed when she told us that she spent $300 on that blue zebra print dress. For the same price, she could have had 35 dresses exactly like it from the bargain bin at K-Mart.

We knew we hit the goldmine when we opened this trendy boutique. Fashion fools will pay a fortune to get a “one of a kind” dress no matter how ugly it is.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Exposure Disclosure

When you need to notify someone that they may have been exposed to an STD.
Rick didn’t mind working for the county health dept but he hated having to try and give exposure disclosures when all he had to work with were screen names.

Mrs. Manners says, if you’re going to make an exposure disclosure you should at least have the balls to do it by phone.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Pull a Palin

To avoid answering questions directly because you don't know the answer, or you don't want the person to talking to knowing the real answer, and talking about another subject you do know something about, or something to flatter or distract the other person, instead. Also resorting to speaking in talking points, folksy colloquialisms, or buzz words to avoid answering questions while trying to look like you know what you're talking about and to keep from having to give an honest or valid answer.
"I didn't do any research for my oral report on raising chickens so I pulled a Palin and started talking about how to make fried chicken."

"I knew that car salesman was full of crap when he pulled a Palin on every question I asked about the car. The last straw was when I asked him about gas mileage and he just said, 'Little lady, I can tell you all day about how few times you'll need to take this pony to the trough but we ought to close the barn door on it before some eagle eye rustles it up from ya. Why don't we just talk about it in the office while I get the papers ready' I ran as fast as I could.

"When I asked my boyfriend about the rumor he was doing gay porn, he pulled a Palin and mumbled something about my friends trying to pull a smear campaign."

"If he asks you what you were doing afternoon, pull a Palin and talk about your new car and how cute his kids are."
by Brett Burkhardt January 16, 2009
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