Blue Cawdrey's definitions
Genre of Movie containing a mixture of the following:
The trailer or introduction is always read out by the same guy, you know the one, him with the deep croaky voice; "IN THE LAND BEFORE THE TIME OF ...."
The hero, who even though he has has muscles in his shite wears a short little skirt thing no matter what the weather and a pair of sandals.
His village, parents or pet gerbil get wiped out by the bad guy.
He meets a mentor who is an old man of vaguelly Asian appearance who will train him in martial art and motivate him.
He is given a mythical weapon, usually a bloody great broadsword or axe that would give lesser men a double hernia just to lift up, it sometimes has a name.
He will meet up with and make friends with some very strange characters during the movie.
He will meet up with and make enemies of some very strange characters during the movie.
At one stage he will be captured and tortured, making him grunt, sweat and writhe a lot before his improbable escape, probally a plus for the ladies.
He will need to find some kind of talisman or jewel to defeat his enemy.
His enemy will be pug ugly, really evil and have some weakness that the talisman or jewel will exploit, he may have a dodgy sidekick to break up the dramatic flow with a sprinkling of humor.
The enemy may leave something behind before he gets his just deserts, for the sequel.
The trailer or introduction is always read out by the same guy, you know the one, him with the deep croaky voice; "IN THE LAND BEFORE THE TIME OF ...."
The hero, who even though he has has muscles in his shite wears a short little skirt thing no matter what the weather and a pair of sandals.
His village, parents or pet gerbil get wiped out by the bad guy.
He meets a mentor who is an old man of vaguelly Asian appearance who will train him in martial art and motivate him.
He is given a mythical weapon, usually a bloody great broadsword or axe that would give lesser men a double hernia just to lift up, it sometimes has a name.
He will meet up with and make friends with some very strange characters during the movie.
He will meet up with and make enemies of some very strange characters during the movie.
At one stage he will be captured and tortured, making him grunt, sweat and writhe a lot before his improbable escape, probally a plus for the ladies.
He will need to find some kind of talisman or jewel to defeat his enemy.
His enemy will be pug ugly, really evil and have some weakness that the talisman or jewel will exploit, he may have a dodgy sidekick to break up the dramatic flow with a sprinkling of humor.
The enemy may leave something behind before he gets his just deserts, for the sequel.
Bill: Arnold Schwarzenegger is on television tonight in a sword and sandal movie.
Bob: I would rather watch Rambo, the plot is so different.
Bob: I would rather watch Rambo, the plot is so different.
by Blue Cawdrey November 23, 2004
Get the sword and sandal mug.Clergyman from any number of different Christian sects who introduce young alterboys and choirboys to the mysterious inner working of the church by the secret ceremony of the lifting of the cassock.
Choirboy: The Reverend has asked me to stay behind and help him to find some coins that fell off the collection plate and rolled under the alter.
Alterboy: Don't do it, trust me dude, he's a total cassock lifter.
Alterboy: Don't do it, trust me dude, he's a total cassock lifter.
by Blue Cawdrey November 23, 2004
Get the Cassock lifter mug.by Blue Cawdrey November 18, 2004
Get the Truncheon massage mug.Goes way past brain death, if your are dead as a doornail prepare to become a 'hotel for worms'.
Dodos perhaps are the only creatures with a similar lack of animation; see dead as the dodo.
Dodos perhaps are the only creatures with a similar lack of animation; see dead as the dodo.
On the morticians slab both Qusay and Uday were laid out cold, both dead as a doornail, they looked so peacfull that it made me really happy to see them lying there.
by Blue Cawdrey November 23, 2004
Get the dead as a doornail mug.Technical term for frequent computer behaviour when running Microsoft Operating Systems, often accompanied by a blue screen or memory dump. Will often happen just before saving work or towards the end of a large download.
Usually remedied by liberal application of the three fingered salute.
Usually remedied by liberal application of the three fingered salute.
by Blue Cawdrey November 18, 2004
Get the shit itself mug.by Blue Cawdrey November 18, 2004
Get the Short arm inspection mug.Though of little or no use aerodynamically, sometimes female sanitary products are advertised as having 'wings'.
Tracy: Shar' have you tried those new towels with the wing's
Sharon: Yeh, never again tho', I opened the package and they all flew out, took me forever to catch one!
Sharon: Yeh, never again tho', I opened the package and they all flew out, took me forever to catch one!
by Blue Cawdrey November 23, 2004
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