BeardedFatass's definitions

photo finish

(n) an urgent need to defecate, usually associated with diarrhea, in which the bowels begin to move before the victim has reached the shitter

As Bob raced down the hallway, he clenched his butt-cheeks together as tightly as he could to stave the impending explosion of fecal matter. This was definitely going to be a photo finish.

by BeardedFatass January 6, 2004

froot

(n) brightly-colored chemical sweetners used to simulate fruit but legally forbidden by the FDA to be labeled as such

(adj) flavored with froot

Without looking, it's easier to guess the color of an M&M than the color of a Froot Loop.

by BeardedFatass April 5, 2004

96

(n) a position where two people lie alongside each other facing opposite directions with their heads resting comfortably between their partner's butt cheeks

After performing 69, many sexual partners like to turn their backs and relax in a comfy 96, but this is ill-advised after eating Mexican food. The results may be grimm.

by BeardedFatass December 11, 2002

Atkins Diet

(n) a lame excuse for obese pigs to claim they are on a "diet" while they gorge themselves with excessive amounts of fatty meat, cheese, butter, and lard

(aka Fatkins Diet)

I'm on the Atkins Diet. Yesterday, I ate a 12-egg omelette, 36 sausage links, a brick of Cheddar cheese, 2 jars of peanuts, 4 sticks of butter, a 32-ounce steak wrapped in bacon, a pork roast, and a can of Crisco for dessert. The only reason I gained 135 pounds was because I accidentally inhaled a crouton.

by BeardedFatass May 18, 2004

mustard booger

(n) the little crusty bit of mustard that forms at the nozzle of a squeezable mustard container

Before squeezing mustard all over my hot weiner, I picked off the mustard booger.

by BeardedFatass December 16, 2002

X

1. (prep) multiplied by
2. (n) radio station that plays the same four songs every hour
3. (adj) used to describe an object that prevents work from being done
4. (n) the archnemesis of O in Tic Tac Toe
5. (adj) located between a Z and a C
6. (n) a strike on Family Feud
7. (n) a mark on a scholastic examination that indicates "Wrong answer, Dumbass!"
8. (n) a letter in a naughty word - most commonly U, C, or K
9. (n) a kiss (plural XX or XXX)
X. (n) the Roman numeral ten

1. 5 X 2 = 10
2. You're listening to 102.1 - The X! That was the latest from Linkin Park. Coming up next hour, it's...Linkin Park. But first, here's "Jeremy" by Pearl Jam on 102.1 - The X!
3. I just got a new game for the X Box.
4.
X|X|0
0|0|X
X|0|
5. I need to press the X key once to type this sentence.
6. Show me...potato salad! (X)
X 7. The capital of Florida is F.
8. I don't give a fXXX what you think about this fXXXing definition!
9. I love you XXX
X. 10

by BeardedFatass January 12, 2004

Mc-

(prefix) 1. related to a McDonald's restaurant, especially the food
2. mediocre or inferior in quality
3. generic

Usage: Append before nouns, verbs, adjectives, or adverbs; the M and the first letter of the original word should be capitalized with no spaces or hyphens

"This burger McSucks. I don't know why I keep buying these. They're making me McFat, and I know I'll have to McShit in a half hour."

"I got the McCrabs from that McHooker."

"Dang! This McRental doesn't even have a CD player!"

by BeardedFatass October 1, 2004