Dilbert

(n) 1. the main character in the comic strip of the same name, created by Scott Adams, depicting an empolyee who works in a cubicle for a clueless boss at a large company
2. any real-life office employee who embodies some characteristics of the Dilbert character
3. a loser

See also: Dilbertesque
The young Dilbert tried in vain to sell his boss on the new technology, but his boss told him to shut up and consider himself lucky he even HAS a Coleco.
by BeardedFatass January 09, 2004
mugGet the Dilbertmug.

96

(n) a position where two people lie alongside each other facing opposite directions with their heads resting comfortably between their partner's butt cheeks
After performing 69, many sexual partners like to turn their backs and relax in a comfy 96, but this is ill-advised after eating Mexican food. The results may be grimm.
by BeardedFatass December 11, 2002
mugGet the 96mug.

Do Not Call List

(n) a hypothetical list of people that no one in a certain group would ever intentionally call
Apparently, I accidentally signed up for the female Do Not Call List years ago, and that's why I have nothing better to do than sit on my ass posting Urban Dictionary entries.
by BeardedFatass May 18, 2004
mugGet the Do Not Call Listmug.

froot

(n) brightly-colored chemical sweetners used to simulate fruit but legally forbidden by the FDA to be labeled as such

(adj) flavored with froot
Without looking, it's easier to guess the color of an M&M than the color of a Froot Loop.
by BeardedFatass April 05, 2004
mugGet the frootmug.

pointy-haired boss

Etymology: A character in Scott Adams' Dilbert comic strip

(n) a clueless boss, esp. one that has been over-promoted and uses a lot of meaningless corporate buzzwords
My pointy-haired boss just told me I need to make a paradigm of strategizing my primary action items, just because I forgot to use the new cover sheet on the TPS reports.
by BeardedFatass January 11, 2004
mugGet the pointy-haired bossmug.

snail mail

Etymology: Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert
(n) conventional mail in which a letter or package is physically delivered by a postal service, esp. when the object mailed could have been sent electronically via email/e-mail and arrived at the destination instantly
Paranoid about "hackers" spying on him, my boss insists on sending all correspondence via snail mail, which means I can't use my spam filter to ignore him.
by BeardedFatass January 09, 2004
mugGet the snail mailmug.

photo finish

(n) an urgent need to defecate, usually associated with diarrhea, in which the bowels begin to move before the victim has reached the shitter
As Bob raced down the hallway, he clenched his butt-cheeks together as tightly as he could to stave the impending explosion of fecal matter. This was definitely going to be a photo finish.
by BeardedFatass January 06, 2004
mugGet the photo finishmug.