BeardedFatass's definitions

KFC

Kentucky Fried Colonel

Now you know KFC's original recipe.

by BeardedFatass May 17, 2004

Baltimoron

(n) a resident of Baltimore, esp. one who puts Old Bay in his coffee

Related word: Baltimoronic (adj)

At Orioles games, Baltimorons always like to desecrate the National Anthem by screaming "O!" in the middle of it.

by BeardedFatass January 6, 2004

photo finish

(n) an urgent need to defecate, usually associated with diarrhea, in which the bowels begin to move before the victim has reached the shitter

As Bob raced down the hallway, he clenched his butt-cheeks together as tightly as he could to stave the impending explosion of fecal matter. This was definitely going to be a photo finish.

by BeardedFatass January 6, 2004

pointy-haired boss

Etymology: A character in Scott Adams' Dilbert comic strip

(n) a clueless boss, esp. one that has been over-promoted and uses a lot of meaningless corporate buzzwords

My pointy-haired boss just told me I need to make a paradigm of strategizing my primary action items, just because I forgot to use the new cover sheet on the TPS reports.

by BeardedFatass January 11, 2004

froot

(n) brightly-colored chemical sweetners used to simulate fruit but legally forbidden by the FDA to be labeled as such

(adj) flavored with froot

Without looking, it's easier to guess the color of an M&M than the color of a Froot Loop.

by BeardedFatass April 5, 2004

whoomp

1. (n)(obs.) the place where it is
2. (n) the place where it was

Has anyone seen Tag Team lately? Whoomp! They're gone! (Perhaps they're hanging out with 95 South.)

by BeardedFatass January 9, 2004

Atkins Diet

(n) a lame excuse for obese pigs to claim they are on a "diet" while they gorge themselves with excessive amounts of fatty meat, cheese, butter, and lard

(aka Fatkins Diet)

I'm on the Atkins Diet. Yesterday, I ate a 12-egg omelette, 36 sausage links, a brick of Cheddar cheese, 2 jars of peanuts, 4 sticks of butter, a 32-ounce steak wrapped in bacon, a pork roast, and a can of Crisco for dessert. The only reason I gained 135 pounds was because I accidentally inhaled a crouton.

by BeardedFatass May 18, 2004