Barnaby J.'s definitions

Anal Leash

People that mistakenly assume that doggy style means anal sex, because they always have butt sex on the brain for some reason, as if "leashed" to the idea in the same way a dog is leashed to a tree.

-Me and Jill did it doggy style in your van a few minutes ago.

-What?! Now my van is going to smell like butt fluid for days! That vile stench will seep into my upholstery. That'll really up the resale value, shithead. What were you thinking??

-I didn't have buttsex, you Anal Leash. Besides, I think you're describing a Pittsburgh Pipecleaner. I have more class than that.

-I don't.

by Barnaby J. August 6, 2008

to-don't list

First coined by The Monarch in the wildly popular Venture Brothers cartoon, this is a figurative sarcastic list which has events and tasks that are totally lame and simply unwanted.

-Hey little Johnny, can you do me a favor and clean the gutters sometime today?

-Ya, I'll just put it on my to-don't list.

-Oh don't be such a little shit. I'll give you some Fig Newtons afterward!

-Again. Fuck you, mom.

by Barnaby J. August 9, 2008

Fig Newtons

The pathetic substitute for real cookies like oreos or chips ahoy. Often bought by overprotective, health-conscious mothers.

-Hey little Johnny, do you want dessert?

-Ya mom! What's there to eat?

-Fig Newtons

-Fig Newtons? Fuck you, mom.

by Barnaby J. August 8, 2008

Complicating

a superior definition of "complicated".

Damn, this math problem is hard.

So? Would you say it's complicated?

What? No. Idiot. The correct term is complicating.

I think you're mistaken.

That's why you're dumb.

by Barnaby J. July 4, 2008