Barnaby J.'s definitions

to-don't list

First coined by The Monarch in the wildly popular Venture Brothers cartoon, this is a figurative sarcastic list which has events and tasks that are totally lame and simply unwanted.

-Hey little Johnny, can you do me a favor and clean the gutters sometime today?

-Ya, I'll just put it on my to-don't list.

-Oh don't be such a little shit. I'll give you some Fig Newtons afterward!

-Again. Fuck you, mom.

by Barnaby J. August 9, 2008

Counting Crows

1. Contrary to popular belief, the Counting Crows are actually several middle-aged buttholes that have brainwashed most radio stations and youth into believing they make music. Actually, they make extremely expensive garbage-noise which is painful to hear in much the same way a fever hallucination is to experience.

2. An activity a person in a wheatfield might do.

hey, its long december! i love counting crows!

what? wait... really?

what do you mean? they're a really good band.

i hope your kids die of rabies.

by Barnaby J. July 4, 2008

Complicating

a superior definition of "complicated".

Damn, this math problem is hard.

So? Would you say it's complicated?

What? No. Idiot. The correct term is complicating.

I think you're mistaken.

That's why you're dumb.

by Barnaby J. July 4, 2008

Fig Newtons

The pathetic substitute for real cookies like oreos or chips ahoy. Often bought by overprotective, health-conscious mothers.

-Hey little Johnny, do you want dessert?

-Ya mom! What's there to eat?

-Fig Newtons

-Fig Newtons? Fuck you, mom.

by Barnaby J. August 8, 2008