Alex Stockwell's definitions

blood fart

When you injure your butt internally in some way, and it causes you to let out some really acrid farts with the faint smell of metal, like there's blood in them.

Ever since I fell off that stool, I've been having the worst blood farts.

by Alex Stockwell January 14, 2008

sleevejob

Similar to a handjob, a sleevejob is when you rub someone's genitals with some kind of cloth or fabric between your hand and their privates, like doing it with long sleeves, hence, a sleevejob. Because of the friction from the cloth, the resulting orgasm can be very intense.

"How'd you get in here?"
"Oh, I have my ways."
"Yeah, I'll bet you gave the guard a sleevejob!"
The Firesign Theatre, "Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me The Pliers"

by Alex Stockwell September 1, 2006

Doctorate in Truthology

Someone who spouts complete bullshit, with a wholly undeserved air of authority, can be said to have this.

"What kind of authority does this guy think he has, saying that shit like it's objective fact?"
"Apparently he has some kind of degree..."
"Yeah, Doctorate in Truthology!"

by Alex Stockwell March 13, 2019

shit-take song

When a radio DJ plays a longer song than usual, it's often because he has to take a shit, and wants to ensure the song doesn't end while he's still in the John.

Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Freebird" is a very popular shit-take song with DJs.

by Alex Stockwell July 5, 2014

black wigger

A black person who acts so over-the-top stereotypical, you'd swear he was white.

Hey, check out the black wigger! Could he be any more stereotypical?

by Alex Stockwell January 29, 2019

incest

An act that is apparently less blasphemous than homosexuality, according to millions of Southerners.

I would commit incest before I fucked a guy!

by Alex Stockwell December 4, 2007

Lancer

In the classic Five Man Band in fiction, the Lancer is the second string to the Hero, who often has the opposite personality to him. The best known example would be Han Solo, who is the Lancer to Luke Skywalker's hero.

Don't think of yourself as my second banana, think of yourself as my Lancer.

by Alex Stockwell December 26, 2010