Alana Post's definitions
function: verb
1. To 'take a real one' is to have a bowel movement that is particularly forceful or emotionally necessary. The feelings that accompany 'taking a real one' are typically frustration, surprise, and/or anger. To 'take a real one' is to figuratively unload a pile of feces onto a situation which bears no other possible reaction. 'Taking a real one' also implies that you can't even mentally just imagine crapping on something, you are are so annoyed that it is literally forcing a big load of pants-pudding from your agitated lower intestine.
1. To 'take a real one' is to have a bowel movement that is particularly forceful or emotionally necessary. The feelings that accompany 'taking a real one' are typically frustration, surprise, and/or anger. To 'take a real one' is to figuratively unload a pile of feces onto a situation which bears no other possible reaction. 'Taking a real one' also implies that you can't even mentally just imagine crapping on something, you are are so annoyed that it is literally forcing a big load of pants-pudding from your agitated lower intestine.
1. I can't deal with this any more. I'm going to go take a real one.
2. Oh for the love of Pete! I just lost my entire thesis. Thanks a lot Microsoft Word! This makes me want to take a real one.
3. For the entire movie, all I could think about was taking a real one.
4. I'd prefer to take a real one rather than stay at this bar for another second.
2. Oh for the love of Pete! I just lost my entire thesis. Thanks a lot Microsoft Word! This makes me want to take a real one.
3. For the entire movie, all I could think about was taking a real one.
4. I'd prefer to take a real one rather than stay at this bar for another second.
by Alana Post October 5, 2005
Get the take a real one mug.Etymology: From the Saturday Night Live character Debbie Downer, played by Rachel Dratch
Function: Noun
1. a: a person who says something terribly depressing (a downer), typically only tangentially related to the present circumstance or topic of conversation, and thereby destroys the positive atmosphere. b: a statement that is charactaristic of Debbie Downer
Usage note: In the skit, following each downer Debbie voices, a trombone plays a "wah waaah" (sad trombone) sound effect and the camera zooms in on Debbie Downer's face, which is twisted in comic despair.
Function: Noun
1. a: a person who says something terribly depressing (a downer), typically only tangentially related to the present circumstance or topic of conversation, and thereby destroys the positive atmosphere. b: a statement that is charactaristic of Debbie Downer
Usage note: In the skit, following each downer Debbie voices, a trombone plays a "wah waaah" (sad trombone) sound effect and the camera zooms in on Debbie Downer's face, which is twisted in comic despair.
Debbie Downer: Hey, does anyone have a banana?
Friend #1: What?
Debbie Downer: Well, if I don't get enough potassium every day, I awaken in the middle of the night by crippling leg cramps.
(higher-pitched wah wahhhhhhh; zoom in)
(everyone looks pissed off)
Debbie Downer: By the way, it's official -- they've located my birth mother. Deceased.
(deeper wah wahhhhhhhh; zoom in on a particularly painful facial expression)
Friend #1: What?
Debbie Downer: Well, if I don't get enough potassium every day, I awaken in the middle of the night by crippling leg cramps.
(higher-pitched wah wahhhhhhh; zoom in)
(everyone looks pissed off)
Debbie Downer: By the way, it's official -- they've located my birth mother. Deceased.
(deeper wah wahhhhhhhh; zoom in on a particularly painful facial expression)
by Alana Post September 30, 2005
Get the Debbie Downer mug.function: verb
etymology: eponym coined for Donnell Clyde 'Spade' Cooley, the self-proclaimed King of Western Swing, who is remembered for stomping his (second) wife Ella Mae Evans to death in front of his daughter Melody.
1. to stomp someone to death 2. to stomp on something violently
Usage note: this is also known as the Oklahoma Stomp after his hit single of the same name.
etymology: eponym coined for Donnell Clyde 'Spade' Cooley, the self-proclaimed King of Western Swing, who is remembered for stomping his (second) wife Ella Mae Evans to death in front of his daughter Melody.
1. to stomp someone to death 2. to stomp on something violently
Usage note: this is also known as the Oklahoma Stomp after his hit single of the same name.
If you don't shut up, I am seriously going to Spade Cooley you.
Tina: Rex, are you sure that you put out that cigarette?
Rex: Are you kidding? I Spade Cooley'd the shit out of that thing.
Tina: Rex, are you sure that you put out that cigarette?
Rex: Are you kidding? I Spade Cooley'd the shit out of that thing.
by Alana Post October 13, 2005
Get the spade cooley mug.Function: noun
1. Describes the sound made by a trombone to illustrate a depressing statement, action, or moment. "Wah waah". Pioneered on the SNL skit Debbie Downer.
1. Describes the sound made by a trombone to illustrate a depressing statement, action, or moment. "Wah waah". Pioneered on the SNL skit Debbie Downer.
Tad: Bjorn, did you show Nell those pictures of your new kitten?
Bjorn: I don't think so. Nell, would you like to see the pictures I have of Sir Fluffles?
Nell: Oh, Bjorn, I can't bear to look at pictures of cats -- they only make me think of watching my own Mr. Snowflake waste away due to the effects of Feline Leukemia.
Tad: Wow... sad trombone!
Bjorn: I don't think so. Nell, would you like to see the pictures I have of Sir Fluffles?
Nell: Oh, Bjorn, I can't bear to look at pictures of cats -- they only make me think of watching my own Mr. Snowflake waste away due to the effects of Feline Leukemia.
Tad: Wow... sad trombone!
by Alana Post September 30, 2005
Get the sad trombone mug.by Alana Post September 11, 2005
Get the shemergency mug.Function: noun
Etymology: Play on the famously abstruse novel Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco and its title's source, Jean Bernard Leon Foucault's pendulum, a simple pendulum suspended from a long wire and set into motion along a meridian. The plane of motion appears to turn clockwise in the Northern Hemisphere and counterclockwise in the Southern Hemisphere, demonstrating the axial rotation of the earth.
1. the moment of not knowing if poops are dangling or not after a sphincter-numbing bowl movement 2. confusion when the whirl of toilet flush snatches a still-dangling poop from one's anal. See also: defecult.
Etymology: Play on the famously abstruse novel Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco and its title's source, Jean Bernard Leon Foucault's pendulum, a simple pendulum suspended from a long wire and set into motion along a meridian. The plane of motion appears to turn clockwise in the Northern Hemisphere and counterclockwise in the Southern Hemisphere, demonstrating the axial rotation of the earth.
1. the moment of not knowing if poops are dangling or not after a sphincter-numbing bowl movement 2. confusion when the whirl of toilet flush snatches a still-dangling poop from one's anal. See also: defecult.
(BOB EXITS THE BATHROOM)
Sally: How'd it go in there? Defecult?
Bob: God, no. It was even worse this time... more like Defecult's Pendulum.
Sally: How'd it go in there? Defecult?
Bob: God, no. It was even worse this time... more like Defecult's Pendulum.
by Alana Post July 26, 2008
Get the defecult's pendulum mug.Function: adjective
Etymology: combination of difficult and fecal. Attribution: Ben.
1. describes the difficulty associated with taking an extremely constipated shit, or anything of equivalent difficulty. See also: tenesmus; defecult's pendulum.
Etymology: combination of difficult and fecal. Attribution: Ben.
1. describes the difficulty associated with taking an extremely constipated shit, or anything of equivalent difficulty. See also: tenesmus; defecult's pendulum.
by Alana Post October 14, 2005
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