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Alana Post's definitions

spade cooley

function: verb

etymology: eponym coined for Donnell Clyde 'Spade' Cooley, the self-proclaimed King of Western Swing, who is remembered for stomping his (second) wife Ella Mae Evans to death in front of his daughter Melody.

1. to stomp someone to death 2. to stomp on something violently

Usage note: this is also known as the Oklahoma Stomp after his hit single of the same name.
If you don't shut up, I am seriously going to Spade Cooley you.

Tina: Rex, are you sure that you put out that cigarette?
Rex: Are you kidding? I Spade Cooley'd the shit out of that thing.
by Alana Post October 13, 2005
mugGet the spade cooleymug.

acooterment

Etymology: portmanteau of 'accoutrement' and 'cooter'

1 a : EQUIPMENT, TRAPPINGS; specifically : a woman's unmentionables, hygiene products, piercings or other accessories specifically designed for the female sex organs -- usually used in plural b : an adornment, item of clothing, or collection of hygienic equipment -- usually used in plural
2 archaic : the act of acootering
3 : an identifying and often superficial characteristic or device pertaining to a vagina -- usually used in plural
Sally asked me for a tampon, but unfortunately I left home this morning sans acooterments.
by Alana Post September 12, 2005
mugGet the acootermentmug.

defecult's pendulum

Function: noun

Etymology: Play on the famously abstruse novel Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco and its title's source, Jean Bernard Leon Foucault's pendulum, a simple pendulum suspended from a long wire and set into motion along a meridian. The plane of motion appears to turn clockwise in the Northern Hemisphere and counterclockwise in the Southern Hemisphere, demonstrating the axial rotation of the earth.

1. the moment of not knowing if poops are dangling or not after a sphincter-numbing bowl movement 2. confusion when the whirl of toilet flush snatches a still-dangling poop from one's anal. See also: defecult.
(BOB EXITS THE BATHROOM)
Sally: How'd it go in there? Defecult?
Bob: God, no. It was even worse this time... more like Defecult's Pendulum.
by Alana Post July 26, 2008
mugGet the defecult's pendulummug.

sad trombone

Function: noun

1. Describes the sound made by a trombone to illustrate a depressing statement, action, or moment. "Wah waah". Pioneered on the SNL skit Debbie Downer.
Tad: Bjorn, did you show Nell those pictures of your new kitten?
Bjorn: I don't think so. Nell, would you like to see the pictures I have of Sir Fluffles?
Nell: Oh, Bjorn, I can't bear to look at pictures of cats -- they only make me think of watching my own Mr. Snowflake waste away due to the effects of Feline Leukemia.
Tad: Wow... sad trombone!
by Alana Post September 30, 2005
mugGet the sad trombonemug.

shemergency

an unfortunate occurance that is both uniquely feminine in nature and very urgent.
Janice, cover for me! I'm having a shemergency and need to buy some tampons and Shout wipes ASAP!
by Alana Post September 11, 2005
mugGet the shemergencymug.

rooting for truffles

Function: verb

Etymology: term originally associated with truffle-hunting sows, who use their snouts to nuzzle the precious fungus from the earth. Pigs communicate their sexual availability to other pigs via the steroid that truffles contain.

1. the sexual act normally associated with cunnilingus involving the rubbing of one's nose against one's partner's clitoris 2. to perform such an act
Sally: Hey dude what's up with your nose? Are you getting a cold or something?
Mark: Nah I was up all night rooting for truffles.
Sally: Whoa, your girlfriend is one lucky gal!
by Alana Post October 14, 2005
mugGet the rooting for trufflesmug.

defecult

Function: adjective

Etymology: combination of difficult and fecal. Attribution: Ben.

1. describes the difficulty associated with taking an extremely constipated shit, or anything of equivalent difficulty. See also: tenesmus; defecult's pendulum.
(BOB EXITS THE BATHROOM)
Susan: So how'd it go in there?
Bob: Defecult.
by Alana Post October 14, 2005
mugGet the defecultmug.

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