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Alana Post's definitions

acooterment

Etymology: portmanteau of 'accoutrement' and 'cooter'

1 a : EQUIPMENT, TRAPPINGS; specifically : a woman's unmentionables, hygiene products, piercings or other accessories specifically designed for the female sex organs -- usually used in plural b : an adornment, item of clothing, or collection of hygienic equipment -- usually used in plural
2 archaic : the act of acootering
3 : an identifying and often superficial characteristic or device pertaining to a vagina -- usually used in plural
Sally asked me for a tampon, but unfortunately I left home this morning sans acooterments.
by Alana Post September 12, 2005
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sad trombone

Function: noun

1. Describes the sound made by a trombone to illustrate a depressing statement, action, or moment. "Wah waah". Pioneered on the SNL skit Debbie Downer.
Tad: Bjorn, did you show Nell those pictures of your new kitten?
Bjorn: I don't think so. Nell, would you like to see the pictures I have of Sir Fluffles?
Nell: Oh, Bjorn, I can't bear to look at pictures of cats -- they only make me think of watching my own Mr. Snowflake waste away due to the effects of Feline Leukemia.
Tad: Wow... sad trombone!
by Alana Post September 30, 2005
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shemergency

an unfortunate occurance that is both uniquely feminine in nature and very urgent.
Janice, cover for me! I'm having a shemergency and need to buy some tampons and Shout wipes ASAP!
by Alana Post September 11, 2005
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carolineism

function: noun
etymology: Eponym after Caroline Contillo who has achieved questionable local fame for coining words and phrases that surprisingly get incorporated into common New York parlance

1. a term coined by or popularized by Caroline Contillo
some carolineisms currently listed on urbandictionary.com are: sad trombone, Debbie Downer, and take a real one. also of note: to be "h".
by Alana Post April 24, 2006
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Debbie Downer

Etymology: From the Saturday Night Live character Debbie Downer, played by Rachel Dratch

Function: Noun

1. a: a person who says something terribly depressing (a downer), typically only tangentially related to the present circumstance or topic of conversation, and thereby destroys the positive atmosphere. b: a statement that is charactaristic of Debbie Downer

Usage note: In the skit, following each downer Debbie voices, a trombone plays a "wah waaah" (sad trombone) sound effect and the camera zooms in on Debbie Downer's face, which is twisted in comic despair.
Debbie Downer: Hey, does anyone have a banana?

Friend #1: What?

Debbie Downer: Well, if I don't get enough potassium every day, I awaken in the middle of the night by crippling leg cramps.

(higher-pitched wah wahhhhhhh; zoom in)

(everyone looks pissed off)

Debbie Downer: By the way, it's official -- they've located my birth mother. Deceased.

(deeper wah wahhhhhhhh; zoom in on a particularly painful facial expression)
by Alana Post September 30, 2005
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defecult's pendulum

Function: noun

Etymology: Play on the famously abstruse novel Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco and its title's source, Jean Bernard Leon Foucault's pendulum, a simple pendulum suspended from a long wire and set into motion along a meridian. The plane of motion appears to turn clockwise in the Northern Hemisphere and counterclockwise in the Southern Hemisphere, demonstrating the axial rotation of the earth.

1. the moment of not knowing if poops are dangling or not after a sphincter-numbing bowl movement 2. confusion when the whirl of toilet flush snatches a still-dangling poop from one's anal. See also: defecult.
(BOB EXITS THE BATHROOM)
Sally: How'd it go in there? Defecult?
Bob: God, no. It was even worse this time... more like Defecult's Pendulum.
by Alana Post July 26, 2008
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therafloozy

Variant: therafloozie

Etymology: portmanteau of Theraflu® and floozy

1. any person, typically a young woman, whose moral judgements become increasingly hampered by the administration of cold/flu medication.
"I never would have hooked up with Stephen in the copier room if it hadn't been for all that Theraflu®," Linda sighed. "Now the whole office knows that I'm a therafloozy."
by Alana Post September 12, 2005
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