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Alana Post's definitions

sad trombone

Function: noun

1. Describes the sound made by a trombone to illustrate a depressing statement, action, or moment. "Wah waah". Pioneered on the SNL skit Debbie Downer.
Tad: Bjorn, did you show Nell those pictures of your new kitten?
Bjorn: I don't think so. Nell, would you like to see the pictures I have of Sir Fluffles?
Nell: Oh, Bjorn, I can't bear to look at pictures of cats -- they only make me think of watching my own Mr. Snowflake waste away due to the effects of Feline Leukemia.
Tad: Wow... sad trombone!
by Alana Post September 30, 2005
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shemergency

an unfortunate occurance that is both uniquely feminine in nature and very urgent.
Janice, cover for me! I'm having a shemergency and need to buy some tampons and Shout wipes ASAP!
by Alana Post September 11, 2005
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spade cooley

function: verb

etymology: eponym coined for Donnell Clyde 'Spade' Cooley, the self-proclaimed King of Western Swing, who is remembered for stomping his (second) wife Ella Mae Evans to death in front of his daughter Melody.

1. to stomp someone to death 2. to stomp on something violently

Usage note: this is also known as the Oklahoma Stomp after his hit single of the same name.
If you don't shut up, I am seriously going to Spade Cooley you.

Tina: Rex, are you sure that you put out that cigarette?
Rex: Are you kidding? I Spade Cooley'd the shit out of that thing.
by Alana Post October 13, 2005
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acooterment

Etymology: portmanteau of 'accoutrement' and 'cooter'

1 a : EQUIPMENT, TRAPPINGS; specifically : a woman's unmentionables, hygiene products, piercings or other accessories specifically designed for the female sex organs -- usually used in plural b : an adornment, item of clothing, or collection of hygienic equipment -- usually used in plural
2 archaic : the act of acootering
3 : an identifying and often superficial characteristic or device pertaining to a vagina -- usually used in plural
Sally asked me for a tampon, but unfortunately I left home this morning sans acooterments.
by Alana Post September 12, 2005
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Debbie Downer

Etymology: From the Saturday Night Live character Debbie Downer, played by Rachel Dratch

Function: Noun

1. a: a person who says something terribly depressing (a downer), typically only tangentially related to the present circumstance or topic of conversation, and thereby destroys the positive atmosphere. b: a statement that is charactaristic of Debbie Downer

Usage note: In the skit, following each downer Debbie voices, a trombone plays a "wah waaah" (sad trombone) sound effect and the camera zooms in on Debbie Downer's face, which is twisted in comic despair.
Debbie Downer: Hey, does anyone have a banana?

Friend #1: What?

Debbie Downer: Well, if I don't get enough potassium every day, I awaken in the middle of the night by crippling leg cramps.

(higher-pitched wah wahhhhhhh; zoom in)

(everyone looks pissed off)

Debbie Downer: By the way, it's official -- they've located my birth mother. Deceased.

(deeper wah wahhhhhhhh; zoom in on a particularly painful facial expression)
by Alana Post September 30, 2005
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defecult

Function: adjective

Etymology: combination of difficult and fecal. Attribution: Ben.

1. describes the difficulty associated with taking an extremely constipated shit, or anything of equivalent difficulty. See also: tenesmus; defecult's pendulum.
(BOB EXITS THE BATHROOM)
Susan: So how'd it go in there?
Bob: Defecult.
by Alana Post October 14, 2005
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Low Lifes

Term used to describe the mini-bottles of Miller High Life.
Nothing quenches ones thirst as ineffectively as a shot of whiskey and a Low Life.
by Alana Post September 11, 2005
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