A Person Named's definitions

boehn-wreck

The train-wreck that is a government shutdown led by politician John Boehner trying to get ObamaCare defunded.

Democrat: We're now in the eighth day of this pointless government shutdown.
Republican: Oh, shut up. Boehner's the greatest leader we've had in a long time.
Democrat: BS. I'm now furloughed, and I probably will be for another month. I'm sick of living in this Boehn-wreck.

by A Person Named October 8, 2013

I know you are, but what am I?

An amateur insult comeback. It is often regarded as one of the worst possible insult comebacks, being criticized for its lack of creativity, low versatility, and manipulation of English grammar in the word "you."

The comeback was popularized by a scene from the 1985 film 'Pee-Wee's Big Adventure,' in which Pee-Wee Herman repeatedly says the comeback after being told a string of insults by someone else.

Mark: You should have let me copy your test answers in class today.
Jim: No, it's against the rules. Stop relying on me to bail you out all the time. You're such a blowhard sometimes...
Mark: Oh, yeah? Well, you're a coffee whore whose father is on crack!
Jim: I know you are, but what am I?
Mark: You're a loser who doesn't let me copy your test answers in class!
Jim: I know you are, but what am I?
Mark: -_- seriously dude

by A Person Named September 7, 2013

Digital hypochondria

A special type of hypochondria in which one has the constant and irrational fear that their computer is infected with a virus, despite multiple Anti-Virus programs repeatedly finding that nothing is wrong.

Those who suffer from this anxiety disorder are said to be digital hypochondriacs.

Jim: Look, if something was going on, Norton would have said.
Dwight: Shut up, Jim, I know something's wrong...
Jim: Look, your computer doesn't have a virus!
Dwight: Shut up!
Jim: You're have digital hypochondria. You need to see someone about it.
Dwight (ignoring): Come on, McAfee...finish the scan....

by A Person Named March 14, 2014

Spoiler faux pas

A statement which is claimed to spoil a film or television show episode, but in reality states something that never even occurs in the film or episode, thus making it not actually the spoiler of anything. Also called a "fake spoiler," "faux spoiler," or a "false spoiler."

Kevin: I'm serious this time, Oscar, don't you dare spoil "The Very Hungry Caterpillar."
Oscar: It dies.
Kevin: YOU SUCK!!!!
Oscar (thinking): Has no idea it was a spoiler faux pas...sucks for him!

Monica: I haven't watched the finale of 'Breaking Bad' yet...you better not spoil it for me...
Rachel: Walt Jr. convinces Walt and Skyler to get back together and it turns out that Hank actually didn't die.
Monica: THANKS A LOT!!!!
**they both get into a cat fight**

by A Person Named February 15, 2014

Reverse push-up

A particular form of a push-up in which someone does the exercise with their body facing the ceiling instead of the floor, and the person is trying to push their back up from the floor, rather than their stomach.

Despite requiring about the same amount of strength and effort, this exercise is much less common than regular push-ups.

James: I can't do push-ups. They're just too difficult.
Michael: You should try reverse push-ups.
James: Dude, nobody does that. You realize how many weird looks that'll get?

by A Person Named September 7, 2013

baggel

A phonetic representation of the way that Britta Perry on 'Community' pronounces the word "bagel." Perry is from the East Coast -- around Pennsylvania -- and therefore pronounces the word with a short "a," which almost always leads to laughs of ridicule from the rest of the study group.

Britta: Darn it! I dropped my bagel (pronouncing it "baggel")
Troy, Jeff, Pierce, Annie, and Shirley: HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHHAAHAHHHAAAA!
Britta: I'll pronounce bagel (pronouncing it "baggel") that way anytime I want!
The rest of the study group, once again: HA HA HA HA HAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHA!

by A Person Named February 9, 2014

I know what THAT means

A verbal prank commonly used by in a conversation, with the intent of annoying the listener. In this prank, there are two parties having a conversation: person A (the pranked) and person B (the pranker). Person A makes a simple, innocent remark with no double meanings. Person B initiates the prank and replies, "I know what THAT means" (note the emphasis on the word "that").

The prank is that person A begins to feel insecure or uncomfortable about what they have said, because the phrase, "I know what THAT means" gives the impression that person B misunderstood what was said (i.e. thinks it has a sexual meaning, or thinks they're lying about something). Person A is completely unaware that person B is just trying to annoy them.

After this, person B could proceed to only say, "I know what THAT means."

Dwight (person A): Hey man, I just remembered, that new Eminem album is out today! Wanna go get it?
Jim (person B): I know what THAT means...
Dwight: Um, what do you...think it means?
Jim: I know what THAT means...
Dwight: **quizzical look on face** um, all I asked was, wanna get the new Eminem album...?
Jim: I know what THAT means...
Dwight: **getting kind of annoyed** do you wanna get the new Eminem album or not?
Jim: I know what THAT means...
Dwight: **more annoyed** what does it mean?! Eminem album or not?
Jim: I know what THAT me--
Dwight: **angry** WHAT? WHAT?!
Jim: I know wh--
Dwight: WHAT DOES IT MEAN??!! WHAT??!!

by A Person Named January 31, 2014