Ptenis

When you type "penis" but make the most 'dumbass' typo. (because p and t are 5 keys apart)

Man: "Search up ptenis"
Google: "Do you mean 'pterodactyl penis'?"
Man: "No"
Google: Shuts off computer

by ☆★Midas★☆ November 22, 2021

Livepool

Deadpool, but janky as fuck and his powers suck. He can't take a single pinch without his head falling off. And when he does, he gets infected so surviving is hella useless. He can't eat one burger without his colon exploding out his asshole. He also is so weak that he pisses blood.

Jake: Hey wanna watch deadpool?
Carlos: Nah man i'm watchin' this guys shit his heart out!
Jake: Livepool is shit

by ☆★Midas★☆ January 04, 2022

Marigold Cum

Golden sticky liquid that comes out of my wife when I fuck her, it tastes like bodily fluid.

I fucked marigold and got Marigold Cum!

by ☆★Midas★☆ April 18, 2022

😦

An emoji that looks like Walter White crying…

Yeah… you will never see this the 😦 as the same again…

by ☆★Midas★☆ February 13, 2022

homosomatic typing

Homo- Same
Somato- Body
Typing the name of the body part corresponding to the one you are typing it with. I.E. typing "nose" with your nose.

Tim: Nose
Haha I typed "nose" with my nose!
Jake: Heart
Tim: Jake...?
Jake: ...
Tim: Jake, WhAt ThE fUcK?!
Tim: ...
Jake: HOMOSOMATIC TYPING...
Tim: AHHH SHIT, WHAT THE FU-

by ☆★Midas★☆ February 21, 2022

🧡

Meaning in love with somebody, but not enough to want to fuck them and/or be fucked by them. And/or meaning because gay people exist SMH.

Me: Hey there’s Alyssa, my crush!
Joseph: Why don’t you ask her out to sex?
Me: Well… I don’t love love her… only a little bit.
Joseph: Whuddup baby girl?
Her: 🧡
Me: Lol she actually doesn’t want to get fucked by you! Lol 😂!
Her: *comes up to me* ❤️
Me: 🖕😎👌

by ☆★Midas★☆ February 08, 2022

Gay poo

When you relieve yourself from constipation by shitting. And the shit log is so big that it penetrates your ass.

Me: OoooOOOooh yeah I dropped a heavy payload.
Marigold: what the fuck?
Me: That shit was so fucking huge… I saw it going through my stomach!
Marigold: That… probably felt kinda gay ngl.
Me: Yeah I just got my ass penetrated by a gay poo…

by ☆★Midas★☆ February 08, 2022