a figment of the imagination of Fox News concocted solely for the purpose of stoking anger against secular progressives.
by rustyshackleford December 10, 2007
1. A memetic media virus propogated by FAUX News, the 24 hour infotainment network A completely ridiculous red herring spawned in the winter of 2005, the War on Christmas refers to the alleged schemings of liberal secularist grinches to threaten the religious freedoms of Christians, that horribly opressed minority (all 80% of them).
Cited examples of this so-called opression include opposition to displays of a distinctly religious nature erected on taxpayer-funded public spaces, and the policies of many businesses to wish their patrons 'Happy Holidays'. This was somehow construed by some disgruntled conservatives as an all-out declaration of war on Christmas.
2. The War on Christmas also alludes to the title of an entire book written by FOX anchorman John Gibson, an obvious marketing tie-in to the product they are constantly selling: divisive hype.
3. The ongoing struggle against insurgent elves. Even though Old Saint Nick allowed UN inspectors to visit his compound in the North Pole where no WMD were found, the Bush administration insisted on a preemptive-strike on Santa's Workshop.
Cited examples of this so-called opression include opposition to displays of a distinctly religious nature erected on taxpayer-funded public spaces, and the policies of many businesses to wish their patrons 'Happy Holidays'. This was somehow construed by some disgruntled conservatives as an all-out declaration of war on Christmas.
2. The War on Christmas also alludes to the title of an entire book written by FOX anchorman John Gibson, an obvious marketing tie-in to the product they are constantly selling: divisive hype.
3. The ongoing struggle against insurgent elves. Even though Old Saint Nick allowed UN inspectors to visit his compound in the North Pole where no WMD were found, the Bush administration insisted on a preemptive-strike on Santa's Workshop.
Target Employee: Happy Holidays!
Disgruntled Conservative: What did you say?!? Do I look like some kind of jew? This is just another sick example of the tree-hugging, Birkenstock-wearing, CNN-watching, Clinton-blowing secular humanist War on Christmas!!
Disgruntled Conservative: What did you say?!? Do I look like some kind of jew? This is just another sick example of the tree-hugging, Birkenstock-wearing, CNN-watching, Clinton-blowing secular humanist War on Christmas!!
by Dovetchka December 25, 2005
'''War on christmas''' is a bullshit theory made up by rednecks after they realized minorities were comfortable with saying "happy holidays" the same people who believe in W.O.C say that liberals get offended when someone says "merry christmas" when the ironic thing is the same people get offended when someone dosen't say "merry christmas"
Person with a brain:Happy Holidays
Dumbass:SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS, STOP THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS
Person with a brain:would you like it if a jew told you to have a happy hannukah
Dumbass:SHUT UP COMMIE
Person with a brain:Have a happy early ramadan
Dumbass:REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Dumbass:SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS, STOP THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS
Person with a brain:would you like it if a jew told you to have a happy hannukah
Dumbass:SHUT UP COMMIE
Person with a brain:Have a happy early ramadan
Dumbass:REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
by SmartEpic2020 December 25, 2020
A conspiracy theory until 2016, when Millennials and the far left started attacking Christmas traditions by labeling them as racist, misogynistic, in an attempt to get them banned.
"I didn't believe there actually was a War on Christmas, until they tried to ban Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer by calling it racist."
by YellowSmurf November 26, 2019
When a married man starts to think up ridiculous ideas in November to seduce their wife/girlfriend into having over-the-top urban dictionary definition style sex by Christmas. The thought being that if they buy their wife something festive like a Wine Advent Calendar or Sexy Mrs. Clause pajamas they will be rewarded with an opportunity to perform the “Kentucky Tractor Puller” or the more festive “Bob Sledding” acts.
Guy 1: Dude, I bought my wife a bottle of Rosé with Rudolph on it! I’ll bet she’s going to finally let me try the “Flying Camel” for Christmas!
Guy 2: No doubt, the “War Man Christmas Special” always works!
Guy 2: No doubt, the “War Man Christmas Special” always works!
by Mr Mist3r November 6, 2022