5 definitions by Razgriz117
Postmortem Depression (PMD) is a form of clinical depression which often affects people, less frequently deer, after becoming what medical experts around the world refer to as "dead."
Symptoms include sadness, fatigue, changes in sleeping and eating patterns, reduced libido, crying episodes, excessive rotting, anxiety, colonic-maggot infestation, and irritability.
Physicians around the world report increasing rates PMD over the last few decades. In a recent medical double-blind study, results showed that 98% people will die at some point in their life. Out of those, 40% will be diagnosed with PMD, an increase over 27% in 2000, 14% in 1990, and -3% in 2 billion BC.
It is sometimes assumed that PMD is caused by a lack of nutrition (a result of one's digestive system being decomposed) but studies tend to show that more likely causes are the significant changes in a person's (or deer's) hormones during death. On the other hand, hormonal treatment has not helped postmortem depression victims; scientists are still baffled by these findings.
A debunker of the "Hormonal Imbalance Theory," Dr. Isaac Goldbergshtein, of the National Postmortem Depression Research Institute for the Advancement of the Medical Understanding of the Human Mind (more commonly referred to as NPDRIftAotMUotHM), says, "The findings are clear. Injecting a victim of PMD with hormonal injections only results in them being just as dead, if not deadER than they were before. It's just common sense."
Symptoms include sadness, fatigue, changes in sleeping and eating patterns, reduced libido, crying episodes, excessive rotting, anxiety, colonic-maggot infestation, and irritability.
Physicians around the world report increasing rates PMD over the last few decades. In a recent medical double-blind study, results showed that 98% people will die at some point in their life. Out of those, 40% will be diagnosed with PMD, an increase over 27% in 2000, 14% in 1990, and -3% in 2 billion BC.
It is sometimes assumed that PMD is caused by a lack of nutrition (a result of one's digestive system being decomposed) but studies tend to show that more likely causes are the significant changes in a person's (or deer's) hormones during death. On the other hand, hormonal treatment has not helped postmortem depression victims; scientists are still baffled by these findings.
A debunker of the "Hormonal Imbalance Theory," Dr. Isaac Goldbergshtein, of the National Postmortem Depression Research Institute for the Advancement of the Medical Understanding of the Human Mind (more commonly referred to as NPDRIftAotMUotHM), says, "The findings are clear. Injecting a victim of PMD with hormonal injections only results in them being just as dead, if not deadER than they were before. It's just common sense."
Guy 1: "Dude, have you seen Tyrone? For the last 2 weeks since he died after being accidentally shot by a cop 11 times in the face, he just SITS there on the couch, rotting. He doesn't eat, he doesn't sleep, he doesn't go out partying, he hasn't even gone to work in 3 days! We should really talk to him..."
Guy 2: "Yeah, he's really suffering from a severe case of Postmortem Depression."
Guy 2: "Yeah, he's really suffering from a severe case of Postmortem Depression."
by Razgriz117 July 21, 2010
Noun: One who is both a Twitard and a Republican all at once, thus making them twice as retarded and twice as annoying to listen to.
Symptoms Include: Reading anything by Stephanie Meyer and voting for rich, white, old men with an IQ lower than 75.
Symptoms Include: Reading anything by Stephanie Meyer and voting for rich, white, old men with an IQ lower than 75.
Hey y'all! I can't hang out tonight 'cause I'll be goin' to the Twilight convention just as soon as I'm done insultin' gay people and them rights!
Dude... You're such a Twipublican...
Dude... You're such a Twipublican...
by Razgriz117 April 16, 2009
Verb - transitive (1) The act of having one's Jew Fro removed or removing another's Jew Fro either by force or with the removee's consent.
Offenses which justify forceful dejewfrofication include:
being unworthy of one's Jew Fro (i.e. looking incredibly un-jewish), being anti-semitic, being Republican (or Twipublican), etc.
Common Side-effects of dejewfrofication include:
loss of Jewish appearance (a.k.a. "Jewocity"), increase in nerdiness, and abrupt loss of awesome.
Also, in a recent medical double-blind study, results show that 98% of victims suffering from dejewfrofication reported a sudden absence of "a Jew Fro." Scientists are still studying these findings.
Offenses which justify forceful dejewfrofication include:
being unworthy of one's Jew Fro (i.e. looking incredibly un-jewish), being anti-semitic, being Republican (or Twipublican), etc.
Common Side-effects of dejewfrofication include:
loss of Jewish appearance (a.k.a. "Jewocity"), increase in nerdiness, and abrupt loss of awesome.
Also, in a recent medical double-blind study, results show that 98% of victims suffering from dejewfrofication reported a sudden absence of "a Jew Fro." Scientists are still studying these findings.
Guy 1: "Dude did you see what happened to Isaac?"
Guy 2: "No, what?"
Guy 1: "His mom forced him to dejewfrofy himself..."
Guy 2: "Wait, ARE YOU SERIOUS!? He cut his Jew Fro!?"
Guy 1: "Ya, dude. He TOTALLY got dejewfrofied."
Guy 2: "No, what?"
Guy 1: "His mom forced him to dejewfrofy himself..."
Guy 2: "Wait, ARE YOU SERIOUS!? He cut his Jew Fro!?"
Guy 1: "Ya, dude. He TOTALLY got dejewfrofied."
by Razgriz117 May 27, 2009
Wat is the internet troll equivalent to what and is generally used in instances in which what simply does NOT seem to adequately portray the desired level of confusion and general whatthefuckness of the situation.
Guy 1: Hey, Jimmy. Can I ask you a question?
Guy 2 (presumably Jimmy): Yeah?
Guy 1: Has anyone REALLY been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
Guy 2: wat?
Guy 2 (presumably Jimmy): Yeah?
Guy 1: Has anyone REALLY been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
Guy 2: wat?
by Razgriz117 July 22, 2010
Noun: (1) The level of Jewish appearance emanating from any being at any given time.
Jewocity is measured using a simple scale of amounts, ranging from 0 to 9001, of the basic unit of Jewocity measurement, the Jew-le; 0 Jew-les containing the least amount of Jewish likeness, while 9001 containing the greatest amount of Jewish likeness.
For example:
Isaac's Jewocity level was that of over 9 kilo-jew-les. However, after having to cut his jew fro (see: dejewfrofy), his Jewocity level dropped to around 4.5 kilo-jew-les.
On the other hand, Bob Smith's Jewocity level was of a solid 67 centi-jew-les for the majority of his life. However, after acquiring a yamaka and growing a pair of jew curls, his Jewocity level increased to an upwards of about Pi (π = 3.14159265...) Jew-les.
Of course, determining someone's Jewocity is a long, drawn-out process requiring tedious calculations and precise measurements of factors of Jewocity.
Such factors include: coarse hair texture, fashion preferences consisting of fuzzy sweater vests, and the willingness to dive into a pool of blood-crazed, madly-starved, flesh-eating piranhas infected with AIDS, Ebola, and the T-Virus from Resident Evil in order to retrieve a single penny. (See also, the Umbrella Corporation.)
Though determining one's Jewocity requires careful consideration of the factors as well as precise calculations, there is one algebraic equation which helps gauge, with some degree of accuracy, the estimated range of possible levels of Jewocity.
Let j represent the level of one's Jewocity.
j ≥ n, where n is equal to the level of Jewocity of one's nose.
This tell's us that any given person's Jewocity is equal to, if not greater than that of their nose. From this we can safely assume that even if Isaac also removed his yamaca and his jew curls, his Jewocity would never drop bellow 2.37 kilo-jew-les. Whereas, Bob's nose, having a Jewocity of 2 milli-jew-les, may not contribute much to his Jewocity, but doesn't impede him from increasing his Jewish appearance. That is to say that Bob COULD, in theory, reach a level of 9001 jew-les. This allows us to accurately estimate a person's Jewocity, without having to calculate it, on a day-to-day basis.
Jewocity is measured using a simple scale of amounts, ranging from 0 to 9001, of the basic unit of Jewocity measurement, the Jew-le; 0 Jew-les containing the least amount of Jewish likeness, while 9001 containing the greatest amount of Jewish likeness.
For example:
Isaac's Jewocity level was that of over 9 kilo-jew-les. However, after having to cut his jew fro (see: dejewfrofy), his Jewocity level dropped to around 4.5 kilo-jew-les.
On the other hand, Bob Smith's Jewocity level was of a solid 67 centi-jew-les for the majority of his life. However, after acquiring a yamaka and growing a pair of jew curls, his Jewocity level increased to an upwards of about Pi (π = 3.14159265...) Jew-les.
Of course, determining someone's Jewocity is a long, drawn-out process requiring tedious calculations and precise measurements of factors of Jewocity.
Such factors include: coarse hair texture, fashion preferences consisting of fuzzy sweater vests, and the willingness to dive into a pool of blood-crazed, madly-starved, flesh-eating piranhas infected with AIDS, Ebola, and the T-Virus from Resident Evil in order to retrieve a single penny. (See also, the Umbrella Corporation.)
Though determining one's Jewocity requires careful consideration of the factors as well as precise calculations, there is one algebraic equation which helps gauge, with some degree of accuracy, the estimated range of possible levels of Jewocity.
Let j represent the level of one's Jewocity.
j ≥ n, where n is equal to the level of Jewocity of one's nose.
This tell's us that any given person's Jewocity is equal to, if not greater than that of their nose. From this we can safely assume that even if Isaac also removed his yamaca and his jew curls, his Jewocity would never drop bellow 2.37 kilo-jew-les. Whereas, Bob's nose, having a Jewocity of 2 milli-jew-les, may not contribute much to his Jewocity, but doesn't impede him from increasing his Jewish appearance. That is to say that Bob COULD, in theory, reach a level of 9001 jew-les. This allows us to accurately estimate a person's Jewocity, without having to calculate it, on a day-to-day basis.
Example:
Napa: "Vegeta! What does the Scouter say about Isaac's Jewocity level?!?!"
Vegeta: "IT'S OVER 9000!!!!!! ... ... ... ... Jew-les ... "
Napa: "Vegeta! What does the Scouter say about Isaac's Jewocity level?!?!"
Vegeta: "IT'S OVER 9000!!!!!! ... ... ... ... Jew-les ... "
by Razgriz117 May 27, 2009