E War Woo Woo is the pet name of Manchester United's chief executive Edward Woodward. This gentleman is best known for his incompetence in negotiating transfers, and an expert in telling everyone he will buy world class players , not taking into account that those players do not want to sign for the club, and having no plan to actually sign those players. He is also excellent at pretending he is on important business on the phone while Manchester United are losing a match because they haven't made any decent signings.
"Hello, is this Cesc? This is E War Woo Woo, chief exec of Man Utd. I'm in a bit of a panic and need you to sign for us urgently. I've made a few promises I cannot keep. Are you up for it?"
"Hmm I'm not sure, I'm very happy at Barcelona, and want to sign for Chelsea next season. What can you offer me?"
"Well, we have a great canteen that has slush puppies in three different colours, and buns with Smarties on top. They're really lovely!"
"Forget it mate"
"OK Ok, we'll throw in a free track suit with your initials on it"
"I'm afraid not, I'm off to Chelsea"
"Ok then, can you do me one favour? Will you stay on the phone for a while because we are about to concede the double to Everton for the first time in 44 years and the camera is on me?..."
"Hmm I'm not sure, I'm very happy at Barcelona, and want to sign for Chelsea next season. What can you offer me?"
"Well, we have a great canteen that has slush puppies in three different colours, and buns with Smarties on top. They're really lovely!"
"Forget it mate"
"OK Ok, we'll throw in a free track suit with your initials on it"
"I'm afraid not, I'm off to Chelsea"
"Ok then, can you do me one favour? Will you stay on the phone for a while because we are about to concede the double to Everton for the first time in 44 years and the camera is on me?..."
by MANUFAN September 2, 2014