The Gonzo Lecture's definitions

Ink Rape

When your tattoo artist does something to you without your permission.

Jase the Needle: So Chaz, tell me how you like your tattoo...

Chaz the victim: Fuck! What the hell is that? What have you done?!!

Jase the Needle: That's ink rape, my friend, pure and simple.

by The Gonzo Lecture April 18, 2010

Avatared

Refers to being stepped over and ignored with respect to one's rightful accolades. It's origin stems from the audacious treatment of the movie Avatar by the Oscar's Award committee in the 2010 ceremony when it picked up only 3 production related awards and lost out to another, much less grossing movie called Hurt Locker.

Dude 1: I can't understand why I never get promoted at work.

Dude 2: That's because you keep gettin Avatared.

by The Gonzo Lecture March 8, 2010

Academic Consultant

A grandiose windbag who bullshits for a fee. They can't do anything useful, so they enter teaching, but they find out they can't teach very well so they try to teach teachers, but the teacher they teach think they are tossers, so they become academic consultants.

Chas: Who the fuck is that grandiose tosser at the front of the room who keeps bullshitting?

Nick: He's what's called an Academic Consultant. Tosser.

by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010

Wednesday

A teaching day in the middle of the week designed by universities to ruin both weekends for academics.

Academic wife: Hey honey, come watch "Homes Under the Hammer" with me!"

University Academic: I can't babe, you'll have to Sky+ it. I gotta go to the campus, it's Wednesday

by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010

Autumn Courtesy Flush

A process carried out by university administrators in the Autumn term which involves shedding students who don't turn up regularly to classes to ensure they aren't charged fees and become an unnecessary financial burden to the institution. This is performed by the student being summarily "deregistered" on the grounds that they are "inadequately engaged" on their programme of study. As a result, students find they are suddenly unable to submit coursework or access any university facilities whatsoever, thus providing proof that they are indeed no longer engaged.

Chris the student: Hey professor! Why can't I submit coursework or access any online library facilities in order to complete my term papers?

Professor: You've probably become an unwitting victim of the most recent "Autumn Courtesy Flush."

Chris: What's that?

Professor: You've been deregistered because you haven't been coming to class.

Chris: My God! But if I can't submit assignments I'll fail the year.

Professor: Yes, well you should have thought of that, shouldn't you? Anyway, good luck with your career.

by The Gonzo Lecture April 18, 2010

Intolerance

A justifiable reaction to all the assholes out there.

"My God Bill, all those assholes out there just fill me with unbearable yet justified intolerance."

by The Gonzo Lecture March 10, 2010

wow factor

An important aspect of experience design which can be applied in a variety of contexts and applications depending on the event concerned and the required outcome. In events, the "wow" factor refers to an impressive and impactful element of the design which is used by the designer to reinforce particular aspects of the attendant's experience, usually resulting in particular sensory stimulation (visual, auditory, etc) which can be used to facilitate memory formation and retention afterwards. Whilst popularly thought to require originality in creativity, the wow factor is usually produced using cues familiar to its receivers.

Bill: Wow, look at those fireworks dude, they are really special.

Ben: Wow, yeah dude. They really add the wow factor. Totally fucking unforgettable.

by The Gonzo Lecture March 5, 2010