Definitions by The Gonzo Lecture
Autumn Courtesy Flush
A process carried out by university administrators in the Autumn term which involves shedding students who don't turn up regularly to classes to ensure they aren't charged fees and become an unnecessary financial burden to the institution. This is performed by the student being summarily "deregistered" on the grounds that they are "inadequately engaged" on their programme of study. As a result, students find they are suddenly unable to submit coursework or access any university facilities whatsoever, thus providing proof that they are indeed no longer engaged.
Chris the student: Hey professor! Why can't I submit coursework or access any online library facilities in order to complete my term papers?
Professor: You've probably become an unwitting victim of the most recent "Autumn Courtesy Flush."
Chris: What's that?
Professor: You've been deregistered because you haven't been coming to class.
Chris: My God! But if I can't submit assignments I'll fail the year.
Professor: Yes, well you should have thought of that, shouldn't you? Anyway, good luck with your career.
Professor: You've probably become an unwitting victim of the most recent "Autumn Courtesy Flush."
Chris: What's that?
Professor: You've been deregistered because you haven't been coming to class.
Chris: My God! But if I can't submit assignments I'll fail the year.
Professor: Yes, well you should have thought of that, shouldn't you? Anyway, good luck with your career.
Autumn Courtesy Flush by The Gonzo Lecture April 18, 2010
Ink Rape
Jase the Needle: So Chaz, tell me how you like your tattoo...
Chaz the victim: Fuck! What the hell is that? What have you done?!!
Jase the Needle: That's ink rape, my friend, pure and simple.
Chaz the victim: Fuck! What the hell is that? What have you done?!!
Jase the Needle: That's ink rape, my friend, pure and simple.
Ink Rape by The Gonzo Lecture April 18, 2010
needle choir
Jase the Inker: Isn't that a pleasant sound to the ears of the needle choir?
Customer: Ah fuck, watch what you're doing, that really hurts you fucker!
Customer: Ah fuck, watch what you're doing, that really hurts you fucker!
needle choir by The Gonzo Lecture April 18, 2010
masturprank
A term first coined by Dr Gregory House in season 6 episode 13 to denote the feigning of a practical joke on oneself to avert suspicion from other people about one's guilt as a prankster.
Wilson:You created empirical proof that I didn't prank you selling me on the notion that you didn't prank. Maybe you self-pranked.
House: I don't masturprank
House: I don't masturprank
masturprank by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010
external examiner
Someone appointed from another institution by a university to question every little, trivial detail of an assessment or graded paper in order to justify their own hefty stipend, make lecturers' lives annoyingly miserable (thus reminding them they are still only employees) and to feign the appearance of academic quality.
Elvira: Leo the external examiner has returned your examination for review because some of the questions require commas to be added. Make sure you do this before you leave the office at 2.30pm today.
Chuck: If all Leo has to do for his money is correct my grammar, then I'd be grateful if you'd ask him to stick that examination paper up his fat arse.
Chuck: If all Leo has to do for his money is correct my grammar, then I'd be grateful if you'd ask him to stick that examination paper up his fat arse.
external examiner by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010
Wednesday
A teaching day in the middle of the week designed by universities to ruin both weekends for academics.
Academic wife: Hey honey, come watch "Homes Under the Hammer" with me!"
University Academic: I can't babe, you'll have to Sky+ it. I gotta go to the campus, it's Wednesday
University Academic: I can't babe, you'll have to Sky+ it. I gotta go to the campus, it's Wednesday
Wednesday by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010
Academic Consultant
A grandiose windbag who bullshits for a fee. They can't do anything useful, so they enter teaching, but they find out they can't teach very well so they try to teach teachers, but the teacher they teach think they are tossers, so they become academic consultants.
Chas: Who the fuck is that grandiose tosser at the front of the room who keeps bullshitting?
Nick: He's what's called an Academic Consultant. Tosser.
Nick: He's what's called an Academic Consultant. Tosser.
Academic Consultant by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010