The Colonel's definitions

rig

To have relations (of a sexual nature) with a woman.

Dude, see that hot blonde chick? I rigged her last night.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

clag

Unidentifiable substance, usually of a secreted, bodily fluid type nature. Australian version of "shmegma".

Dude, I've gotta change my shirt...I just noticed that there's clag all over it.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

stamp licker

a mentally handicapped person

that stamp lickers tongue hangs so far outta his mouth he should get a job outside the post office.

by the colonel December 6, 2003

ufobia

Fear of being abducted, or coming in contact with a hostile UFO.

The Colonel interviewed his subjects searching for ufobia in each of their eyes.

by The Colonel July 22, 2015

Gyneconography

AKA Gynecological Porn. Pornography that focuses on the woman's vagina. This can range from poses where the woman is simply spreading her legs in every image, to extreme closups of, and practically inside, the vagina.

This chick is spreading her pussy lips in every picture. It's full on Gyneconography.

by The Colonel March 1, 2007

slim bavis

A bad, skinny ninja

Damn, Jim is a slim bavis

by The Colonel October 1, 2003

boxtrap

A gay man's beard.

The belief is that the attraction of beards within the gay community is actually a latent heterosexual attraction to the female genitalia. Hence, the man's mouth become a surrogate vagina...hair and all.

Related words:
"box" - slang for vagina.
"trap" - slang for mouth.

Bob wants to wrap his boxtrap around Neil's jockstrap.

by The Colonel May 22, 2006