The Colonel's definitions

Flappy Baps

Large, saggy tits. Breasts that flap in the wind.

I used to think Jewel was a hot folk singer with big tits, but after seeing her perform during a NASCAR race, I realized that she's just an Alaskan chick with flappy baps and a snaggletooth.

by The Colonel February 27, 2006

Chest Puddles

Large, mushy boobs that melt into wide puddles when the woman lies on her back.

Her rack looked epic when she was in her bra, but as soon as she took it off and lay down on her back, they turned into chest puddles.

by The Colonel February 27, 2006

Boxtrap

A gay man's beard.

The belief is that the attraction of beards within the gay community is actually a latent heterosexual attraction to the female genitalia. Hence, the man's mouth become a surrogate vagina...hair and all.

Related words:
"box" - slang for vagina.
"trap" - slang for mouth.

After Bob came out of the closet, the first thing he did was buy a white Miata and grow a boxtrap.

by The Colonel May 19, 2006

boxtrap

A gay man's beard.

The belief is that the attraction of beards within the gay community is actually a latent heterosexual attraction to the female genitalia. Hence, the man's mouth become a surrogate vagina...hair and all.

Related words:
"box" - slang for vagina.
"trap" - slang for mouth.

Bob wants to wrap his boxtrap around Neil's jockstrap.

by The Colonel May 22, 2006

Horse faced bitch

A trick ass ho wif dem crooked teef and dat longass face. dayum.

"Get ova here ya horse faced bitch...and s my d".

by The Colonel November 6, 2005

Crinkle Cones

Saline breast implants. Refers to creases in the saline bags which you can actually see on the surface of a woman's breast. Usually seen when a woman is bending over or in any non-vertical position - you'll see lines or creases running along the sides of the breasts (imagine a zip-lock sandwich baggie filled with water). Typically seen as a sign of a low budget breast augmentation procedure, as well as the inferior nature of saline breast implants when compared to silcone.

Dude, that chick at the beach was pretty hot but she had full on crinkle cones.

by The Colonel November 10, 2005

Gyneconography

AKA Gynecological Porn. Pornography that focuses on the woman's vagina. This can range from poses where the woman is simply spreading her legs in every image, to extreme closups of, and practically inside, the vagina.

This chick is spreading her pussy lips in every picture. It's full on Gyneconography.

by The Colonel March 1, 2007