The Colonel's definitions

kookmeyer

Wilbur Kookmeyer, a popular cartoon character from Surfer Magazine. He is the epitome of a kook - can't surf worth a shit and is a complete friendless loser (except for his dog, although you get the impression that his dog thinks he's a kook, too), but loves surfing and thinks of himself as a pro-caliber ripper. Hated by all other surfers and constantly humiliating himself and behaving like, well...a kook.

Huntington Beach is full of kookmeyers, especially all those 30-something dipshits who act like locals but can't really surf worth a shit.

by The Colonel May 11, 2004

Scotched

A state of mind induced by drinking copious quantites of scotch. Usually can be identified by a happy, mellow feeling at night and a dry mouth the next day.

Don't drive while scotched.

Why go to a bar and drink when you can sit home and get scotched?

by The Colonel December 2, 2004

baby rattlesnakes

Young punks that are full of testosterone and looking to get into fights.

Dude, the NOFX show was cool but the pit was full of baby rattlesnakes.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

shit legs

The numbing of one's legs after a lengthy session on the toilet (the toilet seat rim is typical applying pressure to a certain area of the upper leg that can decrease the flow of blood to the legs, causing numbness). The person will typically lose their balance when standing up to either wipe themselves or pull their pants up.

Dude, I took such a long shit this morning that I got shit legs and fell against the wall.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

sockrifice

A sockrifice occurs when a person runs out of toilet paper and is forced to use a spare sock to wipe one's bum.

Dude, we ran out of teeps yesterday and this morning I had to peform a sockrifice.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

booger sugar

Cocaine.

Dude, let's hook up a little booger sugar before we go out tomorrow night.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

goldbricking

To loaf or goof around on the job. Supposedly an old union term describing laborers (or more specifically, bricklayers) who were going so slow, it was as if each brick were made of solid gold. One can alse be referred to as a "goldbricker".

Dude, I spent all day at work goldbricking - surfing the web, making long distance phone calls - basically just picking my ass.

by The Colonel August 5, 2003