The Colonel's definitions

rat-hole

To digress in an extensive way. To divert the conversation to a topic that is not only unrelated to the topic at hand, but a topic that will likely have no immediate resolution either.

That's an interesting discussion, but let's stay on track and not go down a rat-hole.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

Bad Hop

A baseball hit on the ground that takes an unexpected, usually sharp bounce upwards.

While any unexpected movement can be considered a bad hop - off to the side or even some unusual spin on the ball - most bad hops "leap up" suddenly just before reaching the player attempting to field it.

The negative ("bad") nature of the term refers to its difficulty to catch (inherent in catching a ball is successfully being able to predict the ball's exact path or trajectory).

Not only are balls which take a bad hop hard to catch, they are often dangerous and can hit a player in the face or upper body.

Bad hops can be caused by dry or wet spots on the grass or dirt, small rocks or weed clumps, or even tiny imperfections or divits on the surface of the ground.

It looked like a routine play, but the ball took a bad hop off the edge of the grass and hit the shortshop in the eye.

by The Colonel October 29, 2007

shit legs

The numbing of one's legs after a lengthy session on the toilet (the toilet seat rim is typical applying pressure to a certain area of the upper leg that can decrease the flow of blood to the legs, causing numbness). The person will typically lose their balance when standing up to either wipe themselves or pull their pants up.

Dude, I took such a long shit this morning that I got shit legs and fell against the wall.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

klugle

The jamming of one's thumb into the deck of a surfboard - caused by extremely hard surf wax being applied to the board on a cold morning and then catching on the existing wax.

Dude, it was so cold this morning that I got the worst klugle when I was waxing my board. I almost bent my fingernail back.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

pit

A particularly deep or cavernous tube created by a breaking wave.

The surf was unreal today, bro...I pulled into some sick pits.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

stamp licker

a mentally handicapped person

that stamp lickers tongue hangs so far outta his mouth he should get a job outside the post office.

by the colonel December 6, 2003

kookmeyer

Wilbur Kookmeyer, a popular cartoon character from Surfer Magazine. He is the epitome of a kook - can't surf worth a shit and is a complete friendless loser (except for his dog, although you get the impression that his dog thinks he's a kook, too), but loves surfing and thinks of himself as a pro-caliber ripper. Hated by all other surfers and constantly humiliating himself and behaving like, well...a kook.

Huntington Beach is full of kookmeyers, especially all those 30-something dipshits who act like locals but can't really surf worth a shit.

by The Colonel May 11, 2004