Nicholas D's definitions
Acronym for collateralized debt obligation, a funding tool that banks use to package up a bunch of bonds (often subprime mortgage backed), then divide the package up into new bonds and sell them after skimming a few million dollars off the top. Usually called "diversified," but if you've got dog shit, horse shit, ape shit, and elephant shit, then you can call it whatever you want, but at the end of the day you're still just holding a gigantic pile of shit.
A way of putting lipstick on a pig that banks milked the hell out of from the mid-1990's til 2007. Unfortunately the banks got totally Bear Stearned when everyone saw through the lipstick and they were caught holding a whole sty of CDO pigs.
A way of putting lipstick on a pig that banks milked the hell out of from the mid-1990's til 2007. Unfortunately the banks got totally Bear Stearned when everyone saw through the lipstick and they were caught holding a whole sty of CDO pigs.
Banker: "I've got this great investment for you. It's called a CDO."
Sucker: "Um...I've heard bad things about those. What's so good about this one?"
Banker: "It's diversified! It's got subprime mortgage bonds from Kansas, subprime mortgage bonds from Georgia, subprime mortgage bonds from Nevada, and subprime mortgage bonds from Michigan!"
Sucker: "I've heard bad things about subprime - do you have anything else?"
Banker: "Of course! This other CDO is even MORE diversified. It's got Ninja loans, loans to homeless people to buy crack, Iraqi government debt, and loans to people that need some money to bet on the roulette wheel in Vegas. Of course there's almost NO chance that any of those people won't be able to pay back what they owe."
Sucker: "SOLD! Give me $10 million of it!"
Sucker: "Um...I've heard bad things about those. What's so good about this one?"
Banker: "It's diversified! It's got subprime mortgage bonds from Kansas, subprime mortgage bonds from Georgia, subprime mortgage bonds from Nevada, and subprime mortgage bonds from Michigan!"
Sucker: "I've heard bad things about subprime - do you have anything else?"
Banker: "Of course! This other CDO is even MORE diversified. It's got Ninja loans, loans to homeless people to buy crack, Iraqi government debt, and loans to people that need some money to bet on the roulette wheel in Vegas. Of course there's almost NO chance that any of those people won't be able to pay back what they owe."
Sucker: "SOLD! Give me $10 million of it!"
by Nicholas D March 26, 2008
Get the CDO mug.Winona Ryder would have been able to make off with $10 worth of CVS merchandise if it wasn't for that damn security alarm.
Bernie Madoff really "made off" (pun intended) with his investors' money.
Bernie Madoff really "made off" (pun intended) with his investors' money.
by Nicholas D March 15, 2009
Get the make off mug.Boss: "As you know, it's been a tough year. We've lost $4 billion. So your bonus this year is going to be...um...negative $100,000. So if you would be so kind as to go ahead and return the full amount of every paycheck you've received this year, that would be greeeeaaat, m'kay?"
Subprime mortgage trader: "What? That's not fair! It's not my fault! You're the one who decided to buy all those Ninja loans, CDOs, and Bear Stearns shares!"
Boss: "Too bad, chief. If you don't like it, vote with your feet."
Paul McCartney: "Bloody hell, woman - what's taking so long? Get me that sammich now!"
Heather Mills: "You can't treat me like this! I'm your wife, not your slave!"
Paul McCartney: "I'm Paul McCartney, bitch! If you've got a problem, vote with your feet! Oops, I mean vote with your FOOT...hahahahahahaha! "
(NOTE: for those who don't know, Heather Mills had her left leg amputated)
Subprime mortgage trader: "What? That's not fair! It's not my fault! You're the one who decided to buy all those Ninja loans, CDOs, and Bear Stearns shares!"
Boss: "Too bad, chief. If you don't like it, vote with your feet."
Paul McCartney: "Bloody hell, woman - what's taking so long? Get me that sammich now!"
Heather Mills: "You can't treat me like this! I'm your wife, not your slave!"
Paul McCartney: "I'm Paul McCartney, bitch! If you've got a problem, vote with your feet! Oops, I mean vote with your FOOT...hahahahahahaha! "
(NOTE: for those who don't know, Heather Mills had her left leg amputated)
by Nicholas D March 25, 2008
Get the vote with your feet mug.A legendary beirut/beer pong shot that lands on the tops of four cups simultaneously. Considered the rarest shot in the game, topping even the trifecta, 2-cup knockover-and-sink, and simultaneous 6-cup game-ending double bounce-in. Counts as 4 cups and has never happened in recorded history of the game, despite being theoretically possible.
So rare for the following reasons:
1) Only possible with smaller-than-average cups.
2) Only possible when cups are arranged in a perfect square formation (not possible in a standard game).
3) The physics of it happening are similar to those of the trifecta, which almost never happens in itself.
So rare for the following reasons:
1) Only possible with smaller-than-average cups.
2) Only possible when cups are arranged in a perfect square formation (not possible in a standard game).
3) The physics of it happening are similar to those of the trifecta, which almost never happens in itself.
Witnessing Dan's game-ending quadfecta in the semifinals of the Theta Delt beirut tournament was a thing of beauty comparable to seeing the face of God Himself smiling down on you from the heavens.
by Nicholas D December 24, 2007
Get the quadfecta mug.A difficult situation that one experienced that is as traumatic and harrowing as fighting in a long and brutal war. Coined by Donald Trump in a 1997 interview with Howard Stern.
“I’ve been so lucky in terms of that whole world. It is a dangerous world out there. It’s scary, like Vietnam. Sort of like the Vietnam era. It is my personal Vietnam. I feel like a great and very brave soldier.” - Donald Trump, speaking about his experiences sleeping with a large number of loose women and trying to avoid catching STDs
Dude: "Hey bro, I heard the Philz Coffee near your office closed down. That's a bummer."
Bro: "Dude, you have no idea! It's been like my personal Vietnam. Now I've had two choices: 1) go without coffee or 2) go to freaking Starbucks and drink that swill! There's no other choice. I'm not sure I can go on like this anymore."
Dude: "Wow bro, that's really rough. I can see how that's similar to being tortured within an inch of your life in a prisoner of war camp for three years."
Bro: "Yeah, maybe even worse."
Dude: "Hey bro, I heard the Philz Coffee near your office closed down. That's a bummer."
Bro: "Dude, you have no idea! It's been like my personal Vietnam. Now I've had two choices: 1) go without coffee or 2) go to freaking Starbucks and drink that swill! There's no other choice. I'm not sure I can go on like this anymore."
Dude: "Wow bro, that's really rough. I can see how that's similar to being tortured within an inch of your life in a prisoner of war camp for three years."
Bro: "Yeah, maybe even worse."
by Nicholas D August 16, 2016
Get the personal Vietnam mug.The curl of a wave as it breaks, creating the effect of an enclosed area with blue walls. Mostly used by surfers.
Boss: "Johnson, where were you this morning? We had an important meeting at 10 in the Gold Room on the 32nd floor and it was my understanding that you were going to present this quarter's figures to the department head."
Johnson: "Sorry boss, I wanted to be there, but unfortunately I had a more important appointment in the blue room at that time."
Boss: "Blue room? Now what in tarnation is that?"
Johnson: "There were some awesome 20-foot breaks over at Mavericks. I took my board out and totally shredded that shit."
Boss: "Oh, well I was about to shitcan you, but I guess that's a pretty damn good excuse. Party on, Johnson."
Johnson: "Sorry boss, I wanted to be there, but unfortunately I had a more important appointment in the blue room at that time."
Boss: "Blue room? Now what in tarnation is that?"
Johnson: "There were some awesome 20-foot breaks over at Mavericks. I took my board out and totally shredded that shit."
Boss: "Oh, well I was about to shitcan you, but I guess that's a pretty damn good excuse. Party on, Johnson."
by Nicholas D December 31, 2008
Get the blue room mug.A trashy, slutty woman who hangs out at country bars and has no qualms about random hookups, even with married men. Can be relied upon any night for an easy chuck with no strings attached.
Brad: "Sup dude. You look haggard today."
Sam: "Yeah man, I just came back from Amber's place. Linda broke up with me yesterday and I went to the bar and had a few shots, and you know how that ends up. Spoiler alert: I banged her."
Brad: "A little honky tonk special action, huh? Talk about haggard! She's more haggard than Merle. And she's been around the block more times than the mailman. You might want to go to the doctor and get checked out."
Sam: "You can say that again. It itches."
"Sure enough about closing time, I'm about stoned out of my mind, and I end up with some honky-tonk special I found
Just as sure as the morning sun come, thinking of my sweet girl at home, and I need to get whiskey bent and hell bound."
-Hank Williams, Jr., "Whiskey Bent and Hellbound"
"Honky tonk special, you're not my daddy's wife."
-Marty Brown, "Honky Tonk Special"
Sam: "Yeah man, I just came back from Amber's place. Linda broke up with me yesterday and I went to the bar and had a few shots, and you know how that ends up. Spoiler alert: I banged her."
Brad: "A little honky tonk special action, huh? Talk about haggard! She's more haggard than Merle. And she's been around the block more times than the mailman. You might want to go to the doctor and get checked out."
Sam: "You can say that again. It itches."
"Sure enough about closing time, I'm about stoned out of my mind, and I end up with some honky-tonk special I found
Just as sure as the morning sun come, thinking of my sweet girl at home, and I need to get whiskey bent and hell bound."
-Hank Williams, Jr., "Whiskey Bent and Hellbound"
"Honky tonk special, you're not my daddy's wife."
-Marty Brown, "Honky Tonk Special"
by Nicholas D September 7, 2013
Get the honky tonk special mug.