Nicholas D's definitions
A person whose main goal in life is to post first on an internet video, picture, or anything else that allows comments. Usually this person will simply post "First!" or something along those lines rather than making an insightful or meaningful comment. First posters, while they themselves often believe that they are serving a valuable purpose and/or accomplishing something by being first, are generally disrespected by much of the rest of the online community.
First poster #1: "I was the first to post on a Failblog picture on March 17, 2008. It ended up getting 946 comments."
Neil Armstrong: "Wow, that's really impressive. I was the first person to walk on the moon."
Babe Ruth: "I was the first player to hit 60 home runs in a season AND the first to hit 700 career home runs!"
Albert Einstein: "Well I was the first to prove the relationship between mass and energy as well as many other fundamental principles of the universe that had puzzled scientists since the beginning of time."
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I was the first to climb Mt. Everest."
First poster #1: "What did you do up there?"
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I put up a sign that said 'First!!!' and got my ass back down that mountain. It was freezing up there, dude!"
God: "Well I was the first to create, well, you know, everything in the entire universe."
First poster #2: "Sweet man, congrats. I was the first to comment on that YouTube video of the news anchor accidentally saying 'blow job' on live TV."
Neil Armstrong: "LOL! That video was classic! Epic fail!"
Other commenter: "Shut up, all of you!!! Nobody cares if you're first! Get a life!"
Neil Armstrong: "Wow, that's really impressive. I was the first person to walk on the moon."
Babe Ruth: "I was the first player to hit 60 home runs in a season AND the first to hit 700 career home runs!"
Albert Einstein: "Well I was the first to prove the relationship between mass and energy as well as many other fundamental principles of the universe that had puzzled scientists since the beginning of time."
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I was the first to climb Mt. Everest."
First poster #1: "What did you do up there?"
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I put up a sign that said 'First!!!' and got my ass back down that mountain. It was freezing up there, dude!"
God: "Well I was the first to create, well, you know, everything in the entire universe."
First poster #2: "Sweet man, congrats. I was the first to comment on that YouTube video of the news anchor accidentally saying 'blow job' on live TV."
Neil Armstrong: "LOL! That video was classic! Epic fail!"
Other commenter: "Shut up, all of you!!! Nobody cares if you're first! Get a life!"
by Nicholas D July 27, 2009
Get the first poster mug.An stronger form of beat it up. While beating it up means having intercourse with a woman, beating it uuuuup means really going at it like crazy or doing it multiple times. The more you drag out the "u" in "up," the more vigorous and/or repeated you are trying to say that the act was. Further emphasis can be added by sticking your tongue out during the "uuuuu" part.
Situation: Steve's little sister, Tammy, is a high school senior considering attending a college 500 miles from where Steve's family lives. Steve's friend from high school, Josh, is currently a junior at that college. Steve thought it would be a good idea for Josh to show Tammy around and introduce her to some people during her visit to the school.
Steve: "How did everything go with Tammy? It sounds like she had a great time."
Josh: "She sure as hell did! First I showed her around campus and introduced her to some of my friends. Then we went out to a bar and had a bunch of shots. After that I took it back to my place and I beat it up. Sorry dude."
Steve: "How could you, man? That's really disrespectful. Oh well, I'll get over it. We still on for South Padre for spring break?"
Josh: "Fo' shizzle my nizzle."
Alternatively:
Steve: "How did everything go with Tammy? It sounds like she had a great time."
Josh: "She sure as hell did! First I showed her around campus and introduced her to some of my friends. Then we went out to a bar and had a bunch of shots. After that I took it back to my place and I beat it uuuuup! Skeet skeet! Sorry dude."
Steve: "WHAAAAT!?!?!? You motherfucking son of a bitch! That's my little sister! I'm going to kill you!!!"
Steve: "How did everything go with Tammy? It sounds like she had a great time."
Josh: "She sure as hell did! First I showed her around campus and introduced her to some of my friends. Then we went out to a bar and had a bunch of shots. After that I took it back to my place and I beat it up. Sorry dude."
Steve: "How could you, man? That's really disrespectful. Oh well, I'll get over it. We still on for South Padre for spring break?"
Josh: "Fo' shizzle my nizzle."
Alternatively:
Steve: "How did everything go with Tammy? It sounds like she had a great time."
Josh: "She sure as hell did! First I showed her around campus and introduced her to some of my friends. Then we went out to a bar and had a bunch of shots. After that I took it back to my place and I beat it uuuuup! Skeet skeet! Sorry dude."
Steve: "WHAAAAT!?!?!? You motherfucking son of a bitch! That's my little sister! I'm going to kill you!!!"
by Nicholas D March 10, 2010
Get the beat it uuuuup mug."I'll run up and squeeze and put a hole in ya." - 50 Cent, "Places to Go"
Manny: "Bitch did you just step on my foot?"
Reggie: "Chill man, it was an accident."
Manny: "Fool oh no you didn't. I'm fin' to spark metal on yo' ass."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna ride on you, dogg."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna run up and pop you."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna bust a cap in yo' ass."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm fin' to blast my gat on you."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna roll up and squeeze and put a hole in ya."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna shoot you!"
Reggie: "Oh ok. I really didn't understand what you were trying to say there. You've been spending too much time on Urban Dictionary. You should cut down on the slang if you want to get your point across effectively."
Manny: "Wow, I never thought of it that way. Now that you mention it, I should make an attempt to use more straightforward language in the future when threatening someone. Thanks for the tip."
Reggie: "No problem. See you later."
Manny: "Bitch did you just step on my foot?"
Reggie: "Chill man, it was an accident."
Manny: "Fool oh no you didn't. I'm fin' to spark metal on yo' ass."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna ride on you, dogg."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna run up and pop you."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna bust a cap in yo' ass."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm fin' to blast my gat on you."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna roll up and squeeze and put a hole in ya."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna shoot you!"
Reggie: "Oh ok. I really didn't understand what you were trying to say there. You've been spending too much time on Urban Dictionary. You should cut down on the slang if you want to get your point across effectively."
Manny: "Wow, I never thought of it that way. Now that you mention it, I should make an attempt to use more straightforward language in the future when threatening someone. Thanks for the tip."
Reggie: "No problem. See you later."
by Nicholas D October 1, 2009
Get the run up and squeeze mug.A patriotic American term for après ski drinks, meant to show disdain for the French. Used by the same people who say freedom fries, pardon my freedom, freedom toast, and freedom mistake. Means a beer consumed after a day of skiing or snowboarding.
Pierre: "After we finish ze ski-ing, what do you say we all go grab an apres ski glass of ze Bordeaux?"
Katie: "That sounds great, Pierre."
Bob: "What?!? How dare you, you French sympathizer?!? Let's ditch this surrender monkey and go grab a freedom beer. I've got a whole case of 90 Minute back at my place with your name on it. Brewed in the good ol' USA. Screw France!"
Katie: "Ok, good point. I'll go with you instead. Sorry, Frenchy."
Katie: "That sounds great, Pierre."
Bob: "What?!? How dare you, you French sympathizer?!? Let's ditch this surrender monkey and go grab a freedom beer. I've got a whole case of 90 Minute back at my place with your name on it. Brewed in the good ol' USA. Screw France!"
Katie: "Ok, good point. I'll go with you instead. Sorry, Frenchy."
by Nicholas D December 29, 2009
Get the freedom beer mug.Waiter: "Now for our appetizer special, we've got escargot and haricots verts. For our dinner special, we've got coq au vin and filet mignon. Finally, for our dessert special, we've got creme brulee. First, here's an amuse-bouche from our chef."
Joe: "Sounds great. We'll have all the specials. For our appetizers, we'll get the freedom snails and the freedom beans. For our main courses, we'll get the freedom steak and the freedom...um...cock. And for our dessert, we'll split a bowl of the freedom cream. That freedom bite sure looks delicious!"
Joe: "Sounds great. We'll have all the specials. For our appetizers, we'll get the freedom snails and the freedom beans. For our main courses, we'll get the freedom steak and the freedom...um...cock. And for our dessert, we'll split a bowl of the freedom cream. That freedom bite sure looks delicious!"
by Nicholas D December 29, 2009
Get the freedom bite mug.A term describing a very unattractive, usually overweight skank. The person in question usually bears resemblance in size or appearance to a cetacean, ungulate, or similar animal, such as a hippo, orca, beluga, manatee, water buffalo, wildebeest, warthog, rhinoceros, or elephant.
"I necessarily didn't wanna bring home any sort of zoo creatures whatsoever. I mean these broads just probably smelled the food at the house." -Mike "The Situation" on "Jersey Shore"
I followed a smokin' hot girl back to her place from the club after pounding Jager bombs all night. By the morning though, she had magically transformed into some kind of enormous zoo creature. She looked so much like a wildebeest that I wasn't totally sure whether I was in her bedroom or the African savanna. I had no choice but to pull the old beat it and beat it move and be swayze before that disgusting swamp donkey awakened from her slumber.
I followed a smokin' hot girl back to her place from the club after pounding Jager bombs all night. By the morning though, she had magically transformed into some kind of enormous zoo creature. She looked so much like a wildebeest that I wasn't totally sure whether I was in her bedroom or the African savanna. I had no choice but to pull the old beat it and beat it move and be swayze before that disgusting swamp donkey awakened from her slumber.
by Nicholas D January 15, 2010
Get the zoo creature mug.Jake: "Did you go out and get some growler after you drank that entire growler last night?"
Tim: "No, it just made me have to take a major growler. I spent most of the night on the john."
Tim: "No, it just made me have to take a major growler. I spent most of the night on the john."
by Nicholas D May 28, 2009
Get the growler mug.