Nicholas D's definitions
A euphemism for "motherfucking."
by Nicholas D November 8, 2011
Get the monkey-fightingmug. Acronym for collateralized debt obligation, a funding tool that banks use to package up a bunch of bonds (often subprime mortgage backed), then divide the package up into new bonds and sell them after skimming a few million dollars off the top. Usually called "diversified," but if you've got dog shit, horse shit, ape shit, and elephant shit, then you can call it whatever you want, but at the end of the day you're still just holding a gigantic pile of shit.
A way of putting lipstick on a pig that banks milked the hell out of from the mid-1990's til 2007. Unfortunately the banks got totally Bear Stearned when everyone saw through the lipstick and they were caught holding a whole sty of CDO pigs.
A way of putting lipstick on a pig that banks milked the hell out of from the mid-1990's til 2007. Unfortunately the banks got totally Bear Stearned when everyone saw through the lipstick and they were caught holding a whole sty of CDO pigs.
Banker: "I've got this great investment for you. It's called a CDO."
Sucker: "Um...I've heard bad things about those. What's so good about this one?"
Banker: "It's diversified! It's got subprime mortgage bonds from Kansas, subprime mortgage bonds from Georgia, subprime mortgage bonds from Nevada, and subprime mortgage bonds from Michigan!"
Sucker: "I've heard bad things about subprime - do you have anything else?"
Banker: "Of course! This other CDO is even MORE diversified. It's got Ninja loans, loans to homeless people to buy crack, Iraqi government debt, and loans to people that need some money to bet on the roulette wheel in Vegas. Of course there's almost NO chance that any of those people won't be able to pay back what they owe."
Sucker: "SOLD! Give me $10 million of it!"
Sucker: "Um...I've heard bad things about those. What's so good about this one?"
Banker: "It's diversified! It's got subprime mortgage bonds from Kansas, subprime mortgage bonds from Georgia, subprime mortgage bonds from Nevada, and subprime mortgage bonds from Michigan!"
Sucker: "I've heard bad things about subprime - do you have anything else?"
Banker: "Of course! This other CDO is even MORE diversified. It's got Ninja loans, loans to homeless people to buy crack, Iraqi government debt, and loans to people that need some money to bet on the roulette wheel in Vegas. Of course there's almost NO chance that any of those people won't be able to pay back what they owe."
Sucker: "SOLD! Give me $10 million of it!"
by Nicholas D March 26, 2008
Get the CDOmug. Winona Ryder would have been able to make off with $10 worth of CVS merchandise if it wasn't for that damn security alarm.
Bernie Madoff really "made off" (pun intended) with his investors' money.
Bernie Madoff really "made off" (pun intended) with his investors' money.
by Nicholas D March 15, 2009
Get the make offmug. The path of moral integrity; following the rules. People who follow the straight and narrow typically abstain from activities such as hustlin, pimpin, and some gangsta shit.
Mobb Deep: "What's up fool? What you been doing?"
Todd: "You know, helping out at retirement homes, building houses for Habitat for Humanity, coaching a peewee soccer team, stuff like that."
Mobb Deep: "All right playa. Good to hear. How you raking in the paper doing all that volunteer work?"
Todd: "Funny you should mention it. I actually dabble in pimpin hos on the side. I run a rather successful operation consisting of 4 or 5 bitches. We turned a substantial profit last quarter. Unfortunately I had to pop a cap in a few bitch niggas who didn't pay up."
Mobb Deep: "Man that's some bullshit, you hypocrite. Either you're in the game or you stick the straight and narrow. There ain't no such thing as halfway crooks."
"This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh
Just another case about the wrong path
Straight and narrow or your soul gets cast
Good night!"
-Slick Rick, "Children's Story"
Todd: "You know, helping out at retirement homes, building houses for Habitat for Humanity, coaching a peewee soccer team, stuff like that."
Mobb Deep: "All right playa. Good to hear. How you raking in the paper doing all that volunteer work?"
Todd: "Funny you should mention it. I actually dabble in pimpin hos on the side. I run a rather successful operation consisting of 4 or 5 bitches. We turned a substantial profit last quarter. Unfortunately I had to pop a cap in a few bitch niggas who didn't pay up."
Mobb Deep: "Man that's some bullshit, you hypocrite. Either you're in the game or you stick the straight and narrow. There ain't no such thing as halfway crooks."
"This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh
Just another case about the wrong path
Straight and narrow or your soul gets cast
Good night!"
-Slick Rick, "Children's Story"
by Nicholas D October 31, 2009
Get the straight and narrowmug. A legendary beirut/beer pong shot that lands on the tops of four cups simultaneously. Considered the rarest shot in the game, topping even the trifecta, 2-cup knockover-and-sink, and simultaneous 6-cup game-ending double bounce-in. Counts as 4 cups and has never happened in recorded history of the game, despite being theoretically possible.
So rare for the following reasons:
1) Only possible with smaller-than-average cups.
2) Only possible when cups are arranged in a perfect square formation (not possible in a standard game).
3) The physics of it happening are similar to those of the trifecta, which almost never happens in itself.
So rare for the following reasons:
1) Only possible with smaller-than-average cups.
2) Only possible when cups are arranged in a perfect square formation (not possible in a standard game).
3) The physics of it happening are similar to those of the trifecta, which almost never happens in itself.
Witnessing Dan's game-ending quadfecta in the semifinals of the Theta Delt beirut tournament was a thing of beauty comparable to seeing the face of God Himself smiling down on you from the heavens.
by Nicholas D December 24, 2007
Get the quadfectamug. A difficult situation that one experienced that is as traumatic and harrowing as fighting in a long and brutal war. Coined by Donald Trump in a 1997 interview with Howard Stern.
“I’ve been so lucky in terms of that whole world. It is a dangerous world out there. It’s scary, like Vietnam. Sort of like the Vietnam era. It is my personal Vietnam. I feel like a great and very brave soldier.” - Donald Trump, speaking about his experiences sleeping with a large number of loose women and trying to avoid catching STDs
Dude: "Hey bro, I heard the Philz Coffee near your office closed down. That's a bummer."
Bro: "Dude, you have no idea! It's been like my personal Vietnam. Now I've had two choices: 1) go without coffee or 2) go to freaking Starbucks and drink that swill! There's no other choice. I'm not sure I can go on like this anymore."
Dude: "Wow bro, that's really rough. I can see how that's similar to being tortured within an inch of your life in a prisoner of war camp for three years."
Bro: "Yeah, maybe even worse."
Dude: "Hey bro, I heard the Philz Coffee near your office closed down. That's a bummer."
Bro: "Dude, you have no idea! It's been like my personal Vietnam. Now I've had two choices: 1) go without coffee or 2) go to freaking Starbucks and drink that swill! There's no other choice. I'm not sure I can go on like this anymore."
Dude: "Wow bro, that's really rough. I can see how that's similar to being tortured within an inch of your life in a prisoner of war camp for three years."
Bro: "Yeah, maybe even worse."
by Nicholas D August 16, 2016
Get the personal Vietnammug. Jeff: "Hey man, you should swing by my place on Friday night. It's going to be a total excrement expo!"
Ryan: "Real shit show, huh? I'll be there!"
*Ding Dong*
Jeff: "Welcome to the shit show, man."
Ryan: "Um...it smells bad in here. Where's the keg? Why don't I see any hot girls?"
Jeff: "Even better my friend. This right here is a rare petrified dropping from a 15th century dodo bird...oh and this one over here came from a woolly mammoth 100,000 years ago!"
Ryan: "Dude. I didn't realize you meant that literally. This is a bunch of bullshit."
Jeff: "No, the bull shit is in the other room. Really interesting stuff. Let me show you."
Ryan: "Screw this. I'm swayze."
Ryan: "Real shit show, huh? I'll be there!"
*Ding Dong*
Jeff: "Welcome to the shit show, man."
Ryan: "Um...it smells bad in here. Where's the keg? Why don't I see any hot girls?"
Jeff: "Even better my friend. This right here is a rare petrified dropping from a 15th century dodo bird...oh and this one over here came from a woolly mammoth 100,000 years ago!"
Ryan: "Dude. I didn't realize you meant that literally. This is a bunch of bullshit."
Jeff: "No, the bull shit is in the other room. Really interesting stuff. Let me show you."
Ryan: "Screw this. I'm swayze."
by Nicholas D February 27, 2011
Get the excrement expomug.