Ambulance Driver

1. An EMT that doesn't do patient care in the back of the rig. Often found at medical transport companies but sometimes find their way onto a squad, they will show up for their shift incredibly early so as to beat their partner to the dispatch office and be the first one to take the keys. Will proceed to hold a death grip on those keys until the end of the shift, not letting them out of their sight for a single second. Have selective hearing of such words as "it's my turn to drive now", "it's your turn to be in the back" or "How about we switch places on this run?". Will often use such phrases as "Dispatch told me not to let you drive", "I was in the back all day yesterday" or the ever popular "The senior man always drives the rig."

2. What stupid people call EMTs and Paramedics, especially those employed in medical transport.
1. EMT1: Hey, who's your partner today?
EMT2: (Looks at paper) Ummm, I've got Vicky today.
EMT1: (laughs) Have fun, I had her yesterday, she is such an ambulance driver.
EMT2: Awww, damn it!

2. Stupid Girl: So tell me about yourself, what do you do for a living?
EMT Guy: I work for ABC Medical Transport.
Stupid Girl: Oh, like one of those ambulance drivers I see at the hospital?
EMT Guy: No, genius, I'm an EMT, an Emergency Medical Technichan. Working at ABC is just a job until I finish paramedic school and get a real job.
Stupid Girl: Para what?
EMT Guy: Nevermind!
by Jay Dog January 29, 2010
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Manwhore

A man who is on an insatiable, unending quest for booty, basically the same as a player, but with a more laughable name. Is always well dressed, clean shaven and wearing cologne, even when just hanging out with the guys, just in case he happens to run into a pretty girl along the way to meet the guys or at the place he's meeting the guys. Would be the first guy in your group of friends to bail on you to go chase tail
Girlfriend: (giggle) So why do you call your best friend Manwhore?
Boyfriend: Because he is! He's got a different girl with him every week. He puts thirty thousand miles a year on his car and he only lives five miles from where he works. So twenty nine thousand of those miles are from driving around chasing after booty. He's always thinking with the little head instead of the big one.
Girlfriend: (laughs) So I shouldn't introduce him to any of my girlfriends?
Boyfriend: Not unless they want to get played by a master.
by Jay Dog June 05, 2010
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Four Legged Alarm System

A large breed dog such as a German Shepherd, Rottweiler, Doberman, Pit Bull, etc. that will foil an attempt to burglarize your house by making a chew toy out of said burglar. Ninety Nine times out of a hundred, the sight and sound of the four legged alarm system on the other side of the door would be more than enough to deter a potential burglar into looking elsewhere for an easy target. The four legged alarm system can also double as a car alarm as well personal protection against muggers and\or rapists while walking alone in the dark. Highly effective when the four legged alarm system is given a junkyard dog name such as "Scraps" or "Tiny".
I live in a crummy neighborhood but I've never been robbed since I've been here, because I have a four legged alarm system, a 130 pound German Shepherd that barks and growls fiercely at anyone with dark skin that walks by!
by Jay Dog February 02, 2010
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Pucker Factor

When an EMT or Paramedic arrives on scene of a call and the first impression of the patient is called the Pucker Factor. The Pucker can be visual as well as nasal. A person who has taken a dump in their pants can lead to a pucker factor, not only of the butt hole but of the nasal passages as well, depending upon whether the EMT or Paramedic is a green rookie or a seasoned veteran. The higher the pucker factor of the EMS providers on scene, the more urgent the need for rapid and immediate transport to a hospital. A partial amputation would have a pucker factor of a 5 or 6 whereas a complete amputation would have a pucker factor of a 7 or an 8.
EMT1: What was that call last night, I heard it go out but I was out of town?
EMT2: It was a victim of pretty serious fall at the construction site over on Third Street.
EMT1: Damn, how bad was it?
EMT2: The way he landed, he was all twisted up like a pretzel. It gave me a pucker factor of six right away.
EMT1: No shit, so what did you guys do?
EMT2: I called dispatch to get fly the bird right away.
EMT1: Wow, no shit. I wish I had been there.
by Jay Dog February 02, 2010
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Whacker

EMT, Firefighter or EMT\Firefighter who has a lot of flashing blue or red halogen, strobe or L.E.D lights on their vehicle so that you can see them from a mile away, has at least 1 mobile\hand held scanner or two way radio, wears their squad jacket everywhere in the winter, wears squad\fire department t-shirt every day in the summer. Can be easily spotted by the presence of several pagers on their belt from several different fire departments and\or squads because they want to claim that they run more calls than anyone else. They don't just show up for the good calls, but they get especially excited upon hearing the words "structure fire" or "MVA with entrapment". Often the first person at the squad building or the firehouse when the call goes out because they were listening to their scanner or radio.
Firefighter 1: Hey, man, have you met the new guy yet?
Firefighter 2: Yeah, he's already a member at 2 other fire departments before he joined here.
Firefighter 1: What a whacker!
by Jay Dog January 29, 2010
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Whacker Lights

Rapidly flashing or rotating blue, red, white, amber or green (depedning on the state) halogen, strobe or L.E.D lights found on the vehicles of volunteer fire fighters and EMTs to be used in responding to the scene or the squad building\firehouse. Most states refer to them as "courtesy lights" which means the volunteer is asking traffic to pull over to let him by but they are not required to by law. In some states, volunteers responding in their personal vehicles are supposed to be given the same right of way as an Emergency Vehicle. Some volunteers don't use them (such as those that live close to the building) and some have just one, placed in the center of the dashboard or windshield. A volunteer who is considered a whacker may have half a dozen or more of these flashing and rotating lights. Hence the courtesy light became known as Whacker Lights.
(Brightly lit vehicle with flashing blue lights flys by as two men stand outside on the sidewalk)
Neighbor1: What the hell was that?!
Neighbor2: That was John from 106, he's with the fire department. He's got a dozen and half of those Whacker Lights on his pickup.
Neighbor1: Fuck, that's bright!
by Jay Dog February 02, 2010
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Zac breslined

When you are way too drunk to hold down a conversation however you feel as if you are sober but really you are staring into peoples souls when you are talking to them and sluring every word you say
Joe was Zac breslined last night. He could barely even stand up in the club.
by Jay dog February 16, 2020
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