sportsgasm

A period of time when the sheer volume and quality of live sport induces a feeling not dissimilar to an orgasm in you.

It usually involves a lot of beer.

OMG - the Premiership and Championship football is reaching it's climax, there's Champions League footie, the Hong Kong Sevens rugby is on, we're in the middle of the cricket world cup, we're close to the world championship snooker, the Masters golf at Augusta is next weekend with F1 motor racing and the tennis summer season is about to kick in - it's a sportsgasm!

A weekend with more than 3 different types of live sport to watch can be called a sportsgasm.

by Jamie Douglas April 02, 2007
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military golf

Means you're going: Left, Right, Left, Right, Left, Right ...

Another excellent golfing put down.
"Into the trees again boyo, I didn't realise we were playing military golf"
by Jamie Douglas September 08, 2006
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powerful awesome

adj. The words to be used when no other describing word will do. Powerful awesome things include cake, alcohol, football, and physics.

If anyone in a social situation describes you as powerful awesome you can immediately assume they are coming on to you. Be careful using this term in a single sex environment, unless you want some homo-action.

Powerul awesome is a term that has been used at many historical events: in 1066 at the Battle of Hastings, William heard of Harolds death and proclaimed 'I'm going to be a powerful awesome King'; on VE-day, Hitler was heard to say 'Ich bin nicht powerful awesome - argh!' which is German for 'the allied forces are too powerful awesome for me - argh'; in 1969 Neil Armstrong stepped onto the moon and declared 'Houston, the moon is powerful awesome'; and recently I had a really nice bit of Chocolate pudding and said 'Mum, this cake is powerful awesome'.

Never use the term 'powerful awesome' in prison.
Jake: 'Mike just called you powerful awesome'
Phon: 'Poof!'

Grizzly Adams: 'How powerful awesome is this shelter I've produced!'
Mother Nature: '-'

by Jamie Douglas November 16, 2006
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Golfing term. When you've totally topped the ball, but it squirts along the ground and goes a bloody mile because of how hard you hit it, your ball is 'running like a Kenyan on speed'.

This derives from the fact that Kenya has a long history of some of the best long distance runners in the world, and the effect that the drug speed has on people.
"You jammy sod, that ball's running like a Kenyan on speed!"
by Jamie Douglas September 06, 2006
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aeroplane food

1. Something the airlines use as an excuse to charge you more.

2. A plastic container with words like 'Chicken and Rice', or 'Cottage Pie' printed on the lid, but which contains nothing that could be mistaken for these things.

3. A potent diarrhetic and/or poison. With this feature, aeroplane food was a key weapon during the cold war.

Passenger: "Oh Stewardess, there's a rat in my aeroplane food!"
Flight Stewardess: "No sir, that IS your aeroplane food."

BA, BOAC and Cathay Pacific all serve 'aeroplane food'.
by Jamie Douglas December 04, 2006
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Fat enough to bend light

If someone is morbidly rotund, obese, or even a little overweight they can be described as being 'fat enough to bend light'. This derives from the fact that massive solar bodies like the sun have enough gravitational pull to alter the path of light rays, a process known as bending. Hence if you suggest someone is fat enough to bend light you are implying they have a weight equivalent to a large star, i.e. many millions of tonnes, and hence must be mocked as such.
"Golly gosh, that poor girl is fat enough to bend light!"

"Ha! Ha! Ha! Michelles husband is fat enough to bend light. Let's go give him a cake!"
by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006
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lemony

Tasting of lemons. If you ever put something lemony in your mouth you will experience your pie-hole being sucked into itself, such is the explosive power of the citrus fruit. Be warned.

Many things which are not lemons are lemony. Examples include 'Jif', 'Bleach' and 'Uranium'.
Jimmy "Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm!"
Paul "Oh goodness, get that lemon out your mouth!"
Jimmy "That's better. It was lemony."
by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006
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