Jamie Douglas's definitions

powerful awesome

adj. The words to be used when no other describing word will do. Powerful awesome things include cake, alcohol, football, and physics.

If anyone in a social situation describes you as powerful awesome you can immediately assume they are coming on to you. Be careful using this term in a single sex environment, unless you want some homo-action.

Powerul awesome is a term that has been used at many historical events: in 1066 at the Battle of Hastings, William heard of Harolds death and proclaimed 'I'm going to be a powerful awesome King'; on VE-day, Hitler was heard to say 'Ich bin nicht powerful awesome - argh!' which is German for 'the allied forces are too powerful awesome for me - argh'; in 1969 Neil Armstrong stepped onto the moon and declared 'Houston, the moon is powerful awesome'; and recently I had a really nice bit of Chocolate pudding and said 'Mum, this cake is powerful awesome'.

Never use the term 'powerful awesome' in prison.

Jake: 'Mike just called you powerful awesome'
Phon: 'Poof!'

Grizzly Adams: 'How powerful awesome is this shelter I've produced!'
Mother Nature: '-'

by Jamie Douglas November 16, 2006

weathergirl

The yummiest of all the Z-list celebrities. To be a weathergirl you must be either blonde or brunette or redhed, and you must be very pretty and have a great body. If you wish to be a weathergirl, being swedish is of benefit but not a requirement. Famous weathergirls include Ulrika Johnson and bald-headed-moustache-man Michael Fish. If you see a weathergirl, steer clear of them as they will have an IQ of roughly 3, and this may cause them to spontaneously combust.

Kevin: "Who's that nobody?"
Phil: "Just some weathergirl."
Kevin: "Hmm, hottie."

by Jamie Douglas September 1, 2006

vampire slayer

1. A bloke who racks up a number of notches on his bedpost by picking up rough looking birds in nightclubs on student nights. (Vampire because he preys on girls out at night, slayer because he 'slays' them with his mighty weapon).

2. Someone who kills vampires.

Eddy: "Cor blimey, Dan brought another girl home from the student night!"
James: "I know, he's a real vampire slayer!"

James Woods, Kristy Swanson and Van Helsing all killed vampires, making them vampire slayers

by Jamie Douglas January 21, 2007

northern

In the United Kingdom, North of Birmingham. It's where the greatest people on Earth live.

Great northern people include Geoffrey Boycott, Sean Bean.

Great northern cities include Sheffield, Leeds, Sunderland, Manchester and Liverpool.

Great inventions in the north include Trains, TV's, Banapkins and Pie.

It is a well established fact that the north finished on the winning side of every war ever fought, including the alamo and Pearl Harbour.

The tell tales signs that you're in the north are gravy, bitter, violence, streets paved with gold and battered housewives.

Ooh Daddy, please can we move up to Sunderland, so at least my kids have a chance of being Northern!

by Jamie Douglas January 30, 2007

Fat enough to bend light

If someone is morbidly rotund, obese, or even a little overweight they can be described as being 'fat enough to bend light'. This derives from the fact that massive solar bodies like the sun have enough gravitational pull to alter the path of light rays, a process known as bending. Hence if you suggest someone is fat enough to bend light you are implying they have a weight equivalent to a large star, i.e. many millions of tonnes, and hence must be mocked as such.

"Golly gosh, that poor girl is fat enough to bend light!"

"Ha! Ha! Ha! Michelles husband is fat enough to bend light. Let's go give him a cake!"

by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006

Dynamo

The dynamo is the process that controls the Earths magnetic field. It is a boss thing to learn about. The Earths liquid outer core composed of iron convects under the influence of the inner core boundary and the core mantle boundary, and this movement of the conduting fluid over the Earths magnetic field lines produce electrical currents which in turn sustain the magnetic field. All really rather clever stuff.

Boy: "Teacher, why does the Earth have magnetic Poles?"
Teacher: "Because Pixies put it there."
Head Teacher: "No, it's because of the Dynamo action!"

by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006

lemony

Tasting of lemons. If you ever put something lemony in your mouth you will experience your pie-hole being sucked into itself, such is the explosive power of the citrus fruit. Be warned.

Many things which are not lemons are lemony. Examples include 'Jif', 'Bleach' and 'Uranium'.

Jimmy "Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm!"
Paul "Oh goodness, get that lemon out your mouth!"
Jimmy "That's better. It was lemony."

by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006