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Jamie Douglas's definitions

electron cock

Having a cock the size of an electron.

An electron has no definite size and a mass of approximately 10^-34 Kg. Approximately 0.0000000000000000000000000000000006 Kg.

You see where I'm going with this ...
Jimmy's winkie was so small that Felicity described him as an electron cock.

"Let's go poke fun at the physicists for all having electron cocks!"
by Jamie Douglas November 22, 2006
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aeroplane food

1. Something the airlines use as an excuse to charge you more.

2. A plastic container with words like 'Chicken and Rice', or 'Cottage Pie' printed on the lid, but which contains nothing that could be mistaken for these things.

3. A potent diarrhetic and/or poison. With this feature, aeroplane food was a key weapon during the cold war.
Passenger: "Oh Stewardess, there's a rat in my aeroplane food!"
Flight Stewardess: "No sir, that IS your aeroplane food."

BA, BOAC and Cathay Pacific all serve 'aeroplane food'.
by Jamie Douglas December 6, 2006
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powerful awesome

adj. The words to be used when no other describing word will do. Powerful awesome things include cake, alcohol, football, and physics.

If anyone in a social situation describes you as powerful awesome you can immediately assume they are coming on to you. Be careful using this term in a single sex environment, unless you want some homo-action.

Powerul awesome is a term that has been used at many historical events: in 1066 at the Battle of Hastings, William heard of Harolds death and proclaimed 'I'm going to be a powerful awesome King'; on VE-day, Hitler was heard to say 'Ich bin nicht powerful awesome - argh!' which is German for 'the allied forces are too powerful awesome for me - argh'; in 1969 Neil Armstrong stepped onto the moon and declared 'Houston, the moon is powerful awesome'; and recently I had a really nice bit of Chocolate pudding and said 'Mum, this cake is powerful awesome'.

Never use the term 'powerful awesome' in prison.
Jake: 'Mike just called you powerful awesome'
Phon: 'Poof!'

Grizzly Adams: 'How powerful awesome is this shelter I've produced!'
Mother Nature: '-'
by Jamie Douglas November 16, 2006
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sperbs

A mixture of herbs and spices, often used in cooking.
Recipe for turkey curry

Ingredients: Turkey, onion, garlic, chillies, cumin seeds, coriander seeds, chopped tomatoes, tomato puree, chicken stock, herbs and spices (fresh coriander, fresh basil, cumin, chilli powder, tumeric, ginger, cinnamon, garam masala).

Directions:
1. Fry off the onions, garlic, chillies and seeds in oil.
2. Add the turkey and sperbs, and cook until the turkey is sealed.
3. Add the remaining ingredients and simmer for 20-30 mins.
4. Serve with rice and more fresh coriander.
by Jamie Douglas July 7, 2007
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supermarket legs

n. Slapper

"Cheap and always open".
Jack: "Hey Bill, have you seen the new girl Sharon?"
Bill: "Yeah Jack, but I hear she's got real supermarket legs!"
by Jamie Douglas September 30, 2006
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first mate

The second in command on a ship (I know).

The person most likely to stab the captain in the back, which is ironic as he should be his closest confidant.
Captain Barbosa was second in command as first mate of the Black Pearl before stabbing his captain Jack Sparrow in the back and taking the ship for his own.
by Jamie Douglas December 6, 2006
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full frontal lobotomy

A full frontal lobotomy is a form of psychosurgery. It consists of cutting the connections to and from, or simply destroying, the prefrontal cortex. This brain region has been implicated in planning complex cognitive behaviours, personality expression and moderating correct social behavior.

These procedures often result in major personality changes. Lobotomies have been used in the past to treat a wide range of mental illnesses including schizophrenia, clinical depression, and various anxiety disorders.

Celebrities who have had this procedure include Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo Nest, golfer Jack Nicklaus, Prince William and President George W Bush.

The distinguishing mark of someone who has had a full frontal lobotomy is a nice pair of scars around the temples. The survival rate of the operation was vastly increased after the discovery of the lead pipe, which could be used to knock patients unconscious before the operation and meant surgery was no longer performed on people who were awake.

The full frontal lobotomy has long been criticized by the medical profession, as many are repulsed at the idea of destroying healthy tissue. The procedure while seemingly barbaric has been found particularly effective in controlling politicians.

Tesco began offering full frontal lobotomies with a four pack of tinned spaghetti in 1999.
"Let's go to the supermarket for some pasta and a full frontal lobotomy."

Patient: "Doctor I received this injury while drinking last night."
Doctor: "That seems to be an unidentified drinking injury. The only known cure is a full frontal lobotomy."

Jimmy's Mum: "Jimmy, you've hardly said a word since your lobotomy."
Jimmy: "Mhhwuahhg."
by Jamie Douglas November 23, 2006
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