Skip to main content

Jamie Douglas's definitions

varnished monkey

Someones who's really vain and makes an unecessary effort with their appearance e.g. a well oiled, beautifully bronzed sunbather at a tourist resort, or a cool kid with too much gel in their hair. The phrase was first used in german (lackierter Affe), and is a lovely description of that loathsome type of person.
Arnie: "Check out my beautifully oiled biceps"
Sally: "Wow! You're a real varnished monkey!"
by Jamie Douglas September 6, 2006
mugGet the varnished monkey mug.

military golf

Means you're going: Left, Right, Left, Right, Left, Right ...

Another excellent golfing put down.
"Into the trees again boyo, I didn't realise we were playing military golf"
by Jamie Douglas September 8, 2006
mugGet the military golf mug.

elephant golf

Golfing game. When a man fails to drive the ladies tee-box it is customary to force him to turn his trouser/shorts pockets inside out, unzip his fly, and walk the length of the hole with his johnson out, thus making an elephants image around his crotch.

Cruel variations of this game include consuming a quiagh (a small silver tureen used to formally serve whiskey at gatherings) of whiskey before every new hole when playing in a fourball. The first 3 players (determined by the lowest score at the previous hole) can sip as much or as little as they like, but the fourth player must finish what is left. This normally results in at least one player getting totally mashed and spaffing their drives only a handful of yards.
"Ooops, failed to make the ladies tee again, you know what that means - elephant golf!"

"Let's hit the golf course with a bottle of dram for some elephant golf"

"OK, rules for todays golf competition. No ladies on the course, and elephant golf to be played at all times."
by Jamie Douglas September 8, 2006
mugGet the elephant golf mug.

chocolate frog

"Have you seen snakes on a plane? It stars Hollywoods hardest working chocolate frog!"
by Jamie Douglas September 9, 2006
mugGet the chocolate frog mug.

bendy bum

n. Homosexual. In reference to ........... the fact the person in question is ......... bent, and in the case of men ........ take it up the ....... (can you guess what it is yet) ......... (have a go) .......... (that's right) ....... bum!
John: "Turns out Sam takes it up the back passage."
Wayne: "Yeah, I always thought he was a bendy bum."
by Jamie Douglas September 11, 2006
mugGet the bendy bum mug.

supermarket legs

n. Slapper

"Cheap and always open".
Jack: "Hey Bill, have you seen the new girl Sharon?"
Bill: "Yeah Jack, but I hear she's got real supermarket legs!"
by Jamie Douglas September 30, 2006
mugGet the supermarket legs mug.

margarine legs

n. Slapper

"Cheap and easily spread."
Scott: "Hey Phil, have you seen the new girl Tracy?"
Phil: "Yeah Scott, but I hear she's got real margarine legs!"
by Jamie Douglas September 30, 2006
mugGet the margarine legs mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email