Carl Willis's definitions

hole hair

n. Hair immediately surrounding the anus of a domestic animal. Generally it is recommended that your pet's long and obtrusive hole hair be trimmed for hygienic reasons. Faeces has a tendency to accrete in unkempt hole hair, giving rise to unwelcome odors and a stiff mat of infectious wormy filth lining the animal's crotch.

After an especially challenging bout of diarrhoeia, we burned off Fido's crusty hole hair with a lighter.

by Carl Willis August 29, 2005

klucker

n. (Klux + -er): 1. A member of the Ku Klux Klan. 2. Used pejoratively, a white American who is perceived to be bigoted, particularly in matters of black / white racial integration.

Look at that old klucker up on the courthouse steps, bawling his head off about "them nigras."

by Carl Willis May 13, 2005

slumming

n. The act of touring through the poor side of town to gawk and make fun of the inhabitants there, usually with a group of one's friends. Notably an activity of insecure rich white kids.

Matt: Hey Jimmie, you wanna cut out after school in my dad's Hummer and do some slumming?

Jim: Hell yeah! I love knowing that there's plenty of trash out there to keep the burgers flippin'.

by Carl Willis July 22, 2004

differently abled

adj. Politically correct 1990s euphemism meaning "disabled". Contrary to what the words may suggest, "differently abled" does NOT mean "having different abilities;" more precisely it means "lacking expected abilities." Since mental disability is generally associated with much more social stigma than physical disability (and hence is ripe for being described by a "sensitive" PC vocabulary), "differently abled" is most frequently encountered in similar contexts as "special". With this in mind, persons of non-retarded status should construe the phrase as a deep insult.

What the teacher thinks: "Goddamn, that was funny! Why do they insist on mainstreaming these plainly retarded kids...they're so distracting to my class..."

What the teacher says: "Class, you should be ashamed of yourselves for laughing when our differently abled peers gave their fine interpretation of Hamlet."

by Carl Willis January 18, 2005

special

adj. Euphemism for having a disability, esp. a behavioral or mental disability; low-functioning mental retardation in particular. Synonyms: different, feeble-minded, retarded.

1. Williams earned her M.Ed. at OSU, where she specialized in Special Education.

2. "Contenstants in all Special Olympics events must pass the mandatory drug test and must flunk the Wechsler standard IQ test."

3. "Look at all those Special Needs Children on that short bus, Billy. If you can't learn your alphabet, they'll hold you back. And if they hold you back, you'll be riding that short bus with all those very very special children next year! How would you like that!?"

by Carl Willis February 2, 2004

guantanamo

n. (Guantanamo Bay) Location in Cuba of a death camp run by the United States.

"According to Donald Rumsfeld, the gas chambers and crematoria needed for the Guantanamo facility will be constructed by Halliburton Corporation, which won the no-bid contract yesterday. In other news, the State Department is requiring all persons of the Muslim faith to report to the nearest Amtrak station tomorrow at noon for relocation...I'm Shea Stevens and this is NPR News."

by Carl Willis August 29, 2005

good hustle

n. A fine effort. This phrase is in the vocabulary of most (if not all) school PE coaches and is commonly used to compliment a player or team for acceptable performance.

"Let's pack it on in, guys...good hustle, good hustle!!"

by Carl Willis February 6, 2005