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Brett Burkhardt's definitions

Party Prowler

That perv who hangs around parties waiting to make advances on people who are too drunk to defend themselves. Or steal a purse or just take a really nice jacket.
When Karen saw that Mark, the Party Prowler from her dorm, was at the Tri-Delt party she made sure to hold onto her purse and keep an eye on her friends.

That guy across the hall is a total party prowler and that's why we don't host house parties anymore.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Shinanigans

“I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to your party but I was swamped at work.’
“Shinanigans! I saw those pics you posted on facebook showing you at the titty bar with your friends, asshole!”

“I called shinanigans on that plumber when he told me it was going to cost $780 to order a new lid for the toilet tank. Does he think I’m retarded because I’m a woman or something?”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Name Nabber

A customer who demands on getting your name even though you’ve already told them and you’re wearing a name tag because they want to bitch about shit that never happened or things that they imagined.
Mr. Gonzalez was a major name nabber. He’ll write that shit down and then bitch about you to a manager 3 weeks later for some made up bullshit.

Sheila knew the customer was a name nabber so she told him that her name was Sharon.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Secret Smoker

Someone who decries smoking during the day, but at night loves nothing more than a nice menthol.
Kim was a classic Secret Smoker. She would lecture her kids about the evils of smoking all day but, come 2 am, she would sneak behind the garage and relax with a nice cigarette.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Back Story Bore

Someone who refuses to answer a simple question and insists on giving you their entire life story.
“....and then I wanted to plant tulips but I just don’t think our soil is right for it...”
“Sir! I just need to know, soup or salad!” Said the poor waitress after a 5 minute story from the Back Story Bore on table 8.

“Can I get your name please, ma’am?”
“Well I called because I got this letter and I was going to call yesterday when I got it but then my sister called and then it started to rain so I had to....”
“MA’AM!!! I need your name before I can even help you!” Denise screamed at the back story bore who was eating into her lunch hour.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Golden Parachute Punk

A CEO who gets a fat paycheck after running a company into the ground.
Marge lost her 401K and all her company stock was worthless but the Golden Parachute Punk who drove the company into bankruptcy got a severance package of 20 million...the douche.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Sweet 16 Succubus

A girl who acts like an out of control monster while planning her sweet 16 and should get an ass whooping instead of a party. She’ll also make outrageous demands and try to waste as much money on this event as possible.
“DADDDYYYYY!!!!! I wanted a BLACK Escalade, not a white one! You’re ruining my life!” Screamed the Sweet 16 Succubus

The Sweet 16 Succubus who’s parents had rented the yacht was rolling around screaming and crying on the floor like a five year old because the roses aren’t the right shade of pink. What a bitch.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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