133 definitions by Uncle Joosie

like crocodile tears but from a lying asshole
in recent testimony, Brett said he was super sure he's never sexually assaulted anyone and started phony kavanaugh tears when realizing his dream to get on the supreme court was going down the shitter.
by Uncle Joosie September 27, 2018
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Kenya brought Cookie Lady to lunch to ambush Tanya about her about the boyfriend's dalliances. "that's some fucked up Shmessy, girl" Cynthia said, which then caused a fight with Kenya.
by Uncle Joosie February 17, 2020
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when someone approaching you crosses the street to avoid contagion
Karla was walking and talking to mom on her cell and noticed a dude who crossed to the other side. "OMG mama this guy just did a Covid Cootie-cross on me!"
by Uncle Joosie April 22, 2020
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when a knowledgeable fan of big cocks can easily spot a guy sporting impressive meat.
Travis noticed a lanky guy walking down the street and used his trusty Size Queen Radar to determine that yes that dude was hung like a rhino.
by Uncle Joosie July 2, 2018
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when your father nibbles the seeds and discards the rind
Larry finished his deli sandwich and picked up the pickle spear; instead of eating the whole thing he decided to beaver that pickle and gnaw the seeds out
by Uncle Joosie April 29, 2019
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Sparky the terrier had Doggie ADD (DADD) *so bad* that he couldn't walk straight on the sidewalk or finish his meal without being distracted by a squirrel.
by Uncle Joosie July 15, 2018
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Tucker Carlson's grimaced look every night on Fox News.
Tucker Carlson was interviewing Glenn Greenwald on Fixed Noise with resting constipation face as they both slammed Hillary for sending some email.
by Uncle Joosie June 14, 2018
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