33 definitions by Jack Atrophy

The creepy and immoral practice of glancing quickly at another dude's dick while pissing at a urinal.
How did James know that I was uncircumcised? He must be a master of es-pee-onage.
by Jack Atrophy August 7, 2022
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A disorder that prevents teachers from performing their job competently.

See teach impediment.
My teacher suffers from pedagogical paralysis. That is why I aren't can speak goodly.
by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022
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A phrase shouted in frustration when a partner is willing to do just about anything but anal.
Girlfriend: Let's try something special tonight... *bats eyelashes*

Boyfriend: How about I pork you in the dumper?

Girlfriend: I was thinking something more like vaginal fisting followed by risky breath play.

Boyfriend: Fuck! Everything but the bitch's stink!
by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022
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An individual who hunts eagerly for things to be offended by. Such individuals are often very 'woke' and insufferable. They consider most behavior to be 'problematic' and worthy of harsh censure.

These people are ill and require treatment.

We must help these people.
"Have you heard? Zephyr is in rehab..."

"What for?"

"They were a closet problemaddict who couldn't stop moralizing about petty things on Twitter."

"Good for them."
by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022
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When you are fucking a woman, but both of you are kinda fat so your jelly roll is rubbing up against her muffin top, and the rhythmic undulation of humping is whipping up a frothy mixture of semen, sweat, and lube that resembles cottage cheese. You know what I'm talking about. All the juices and shit from the crotch area somehow creep up to the abdomen. I'm not a physicist-- I don't know how. All I know is that it tastes good if you use it as nacho dip.
How about me and you go out to McDonald's, grab a bite to eat, go to the movies, stop at a Wendy's on the way home, watch some Netflix, order a pizza, and end the night by whipping up some major frottage cheese.
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022
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1. When your penis is covered in feces after engaging in anal sex.

2. When you are engaged in anal sex and a sharp turd pricks the tip of your penis.
Dude, have you been swallowing sunflower seed shells again? I just got poo pricked!
by Jack Atrophy August 7, 2022
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A non-Jewish femboy.
Oh, dildo, dildo, dildo
I am so very gay
And if it weren't unkosher
A femgoy I would lay
by Jack Atrophy August 5, 2022
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