The shared beliefs of George Carlin (1937-2008), one of the greatest human minds that ever lived. Carlin taught us that Republicans/Conservatives are full of shit, kids today are largely flawed, God doesn't exist and those who believe in most religion are assholes who kill people for no reason (His words, not mine.), and people in general are scared, weak, evil, manipulative, callous sacks of shit who sit around playing with their pricks until they die, and other such thoughts.
Churchgoer: Hey, I'm going to church, wanna come?

Carlinist: No thank you, I believe in Carlinism, now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go jack off.
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Refers to George Carlin, a comedian from 1960s-2000s. Carlin was prolific in his (usually profane) observations and ridicule of societal norms.
A typical Carlinism: "My friend is undergoing extensive cuntification with his latest girlfriend."
by macdude72 October 29, 2008
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.car-lin. One Gangster or pimp who holds authority over the 'mans' in the hood or area.
Usually feared by less superior homeboys.
If someone is refferred to as Carlin then they are thought as some a king of a hood.
"Ah shizz theres the Carlin."
by ETCLDNFOSHO May 31, 2008
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eyeliner or makeup in general applied in the car on the go for when there wasn’t time to do it at home properly
Sarah: omg I love your eyliner
Becky: thanks it’s just crappy carliner
Sarah: really? I never would have guessed.
by keyofcmajor December 9, 2017
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Carlinized is quite similar to bastardized, except with more arrogance and randomness. To carlinize is to fictitiously create the optimization of numbers or metrics without any basis in reality or factual events.
An example of a Carlinized request: "Likely abnormal uniques volatility outside the range of historical divisions for that market?"

How in the world did you come up with those numbers? You must have Carlinized them!
by WebAnalyst March 18, 2013
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noun
a political and economic theory of social organization which advocates that common sense should always be applied. Carlinists tend to be considered radical or cynical but this in reality isn't true. Carlinists know the media and school system has brainwashed a large portion of society. Carlinists are for equality minus the pandering and political correctness. Carlinists are anti religion, anti hate, usually pro choice. Carlinists are able to see capitalism is an issue but aren't ridiculous like the socialists and communists. Carlinists feel that the public is to blame for the less than stellar politicians. Two key ideas are: do whatever you want, as long as you're not hurting anyone else & some form of direct democracy. Most carlinists support a universal basic income. George carlin knew the ruling class was abusing the working class and called it out often. Carlinism - see red pill
Look at the improvement of society since we implemented carlinism
by The carlinist December 6, 2020
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