von groovy's definitions

I couldn't stop the swimmers

The simultaneously unfortunate and wonderful feeling that is premature ejaculation

Randy: And then I got in there and it felt soooo sweeet!!
Wally: DUDE!!!
Randy: She looked me in the eye, whispered my name and I couldn't stop the swimmers!!!
Wally: You bitch! Control your jizz!

by von groovy April 13, 2019

beer death experience

The point in the night or early morning that one cannot taste the flavor of the beer they are drinking because they have drank so many. It is very unfortunate.

Laura's recent beer death experience truly caused her to rethink her choices and she returned to simply getting stoned.

by von groovy August 4, 2017

Freudian fall

An extreme version of the Freudian slip where the person says or does something that reveals their subconscious feelings so much that they will never be able to be themselves again. This error redefines them.

When Carson asked Asher if he was going into the school dance or if he was just going to hang outside. Asher replied that he'd only go if he could go into the "pants" with him. Asher said it loud enough that Barry heard. Barry posted it and Asher could never pick himself up from that Freudian fall.

by von groovy January 18, 2019

postless

The act of not documenting an event that occurred which thereby erases it from history since it has not been posted. The quality of having not being posted.

Serge: Me and Tandy last night! Ooh la la!!
Leon: It did not happen, mang. Lies...
Serge: Yeah, it did. I saw her posting about it afterwards!
Leon: I just searched her history - nothing! Postless! She wants to forget about it - or did it even happen?

by von groovy June 6, 2017

The Cage

The place where someone lives, but only feels free when out of it because they do not own it and they must live by the rules of the owner.

Ledbetter texted me to pick him up soon 'cause he wanted out of the cage.

by von groovy May 16, 2017

wish like a fat girl

The desperate way of wishing for something that will not happen because the wisher does not have enough self-discipline.

Betty: Oh, Carlene! I really hope that Graham calls me! He's just so dreamy!
Carlene: Betty! Get real! He's from the good part of town. You truly wish like a fat girl!

by von groovy June 9, 2017

shit-ass fuck stick

slang for wieners in prison

The warden was very displeased that the convicts were not keeping their shit-ass fuck sticks clean and infections were a crisis

by von groovy September 14, 2019