the birds and trees's definitions

Castration

Emasculation. Removal of the male sexual organs. Practiced by ancient and barbaric societies where sex was considered highly evil.

Also used in the courts of ancient China to produce eunuchs, castrated male servants who could be trusted to be in close proximity to the Emperor. To be near the Emperor was to be near his harem, so naturally few men were allowed to be in his presence. Eunuchs were considered safe, since they had neither the will nor the ability to "sample the goods" as it were. As a result, eunuchs could gain special leverage with the Emperor, due to their proximity to him, and be appointed to high government offices. Towards the end of the 19th century, some of the most powerful men in the country were eunuchs.

Castration: I'm a take this meat cleaver to yo' nuts, bitch!

by the birds and trees May 19, 2008

Marvin Gaye weed

Weed that's so strong that, after one hit, you're like "what's goin' on?"

Damn, this shit is some Marvin Gaye weed. Have you ever seen a snow-covered mountain during the sunset on a crystal-clear winter's day, all golden and fiery in the last dying rays of the sun, and noticed how even the shadows glowed with all of the purple and indigo notes of the evening sky?

by the birds and trees January 14, 2009

saxons

A Germanic tribe from the regions of Saxony, Lower Saxony, Saxony-Anhalt, Schleswig-Holstiein, North-Rhine Westphalia and part of the Netherlands. Conquered Brittain at the end of Roman rule. The Saxons in Brittain became known as Anglo-Saxons, and ruled for several centuries before being conquered by the Normans. The words "saxon" and "Anglo-Saxon" are used today as buzzwords by hate groups who consider themselves to be of pure, Anglo-Saxon blood, and therefore superior to all other races, whom they term "mud races" or "mud people." Regardless of the fact that the original Saxons seemed to have no qualms about marrying into the indigenous population, as well as the successive waves of conquerors, and indeed seemed to have no idea of race.

The Legend of King Arthur was about the struggle of the old, Celtic Brittain against the Saxons.

by the birds and trees September 17, 2006

inhuman robot of damage

Something that causes destruction solely for the sake of causing destruction. A self-controlled machine of violent destruction whose sole purpose is to smash everything in site and cause utter havoc. Usually colossal in size, humanoid in form, and invented by any of a number of mad scientists living in your, yes YOUR city, bent on revenge for some perceived past wrong.

1. "The Army had to be called in after an inhuman robot of damage (IRD) destroyed 12 city blocks downtown yesterday.

2. "He ransacked the buffet table like an inhuman robot of damage."

3. "I go through essay questions like an inhuman robot of damage!"

by the birds and trees June 21, 2007

onix

A Pokemon card/creature resembling a snake made out of rocks. The phallic nature of this creature was noted in a sly reference in the manga Aoi House.

Is that an onix in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

by the birds and trees May 14, 2007

newage

A euphamism for New Age music, a horrible, hideous genre of aimless, unlistenable drech for washed out, middle-aged ex-hippies and the power crystal clutching disciples of con men who use bits and pieces of various Eastern religions, interspersed with liberal helpings of pure bullshit in order to sell their overpriced, horribly written books (also filled with bullshit) and ugly quartz crystal trinkets. Rhymes with "sewage."

Hey, holmes, get that fucken' newage crap off of my sound system right now! And bury that c.d. once you're through taking it far, far away from anyone with anything resembling taste in music.

by the birds and trees September 17, 2006

Getto mart

A term used in Western Mass. for Getty Mart, a chain of mini-mart/gas stations owned by the Getty oil corporation. Possibly due to the prevalence of Getty marts in poorer neighborhoods, or possibly because of the shitty service and generally tacky nature of most Getty Mart franchises.

I bought a pack of beef jerky and a tonic water at the Getto Mart.

by the birds and trees October 1, 2006