Scotty Nice's definitions

Lopey Left Eye

When your older male friend can no longer see out of his left eye because of receiving a high speed shot of ejaculate directly to his eyeball during his sexual experimentation days. The eye survives for several years until the effect of the impact makes it such that glasses can no longer serve a beneficial purpose.

Damn I got a hummer from that MILF Trudie last night and I'd been saving up my load all week. She didn't want to swallow so when I was about to finish I blasted my goo so hard at her eye I doubt she will be able to see in a few years. She gonna have that Lopey Left Eye.

by Scotty Nice May 16, 2023

Tijuana Sushi

When you pull into port in the Coast Guard and attend a “gentlemen’s club” and proceed to get shitfaced and eat the backside of a whore, coating your face in wet slimy bacteria filled pussy and ass juice.

Yo I got so drunk at Senorita Slippy’s last night in port and this whore Trudie backed her ass and pussy in my face. I ate the shit out of it and It was like eating some spoiled Tijuana sushi.

by Scotty Nice October 25, 2019

Stiff as a Ball

When you see someone hitting a golf ball and you feel bad for them because you assume they have prosthetic legs. Their ability to flex and move their lower extremities is so bad that you imagine they were hit by a train as a child or had polio because their parents were anti-vaxxers.

So I was watching this guy tee off the other day and I felt so sad thinking of what happened to them as a child. Then I watched them walk away and it was perfectly normal. He was stiff as a ball hitting a golf shot, but walked fine. Really bizarre, must be at least a 10 handicap without an actual handicap.

by Scotty Nice July 27, 2023

Mickey’s hat of despair

When you take your family to the magical world of Disney and spend five days in scorching ball dripping heat, getting run over by heifers in electric scooters and spending more than half your salary on Mickey shaped treats while getting in two rides a day and all you come away with is a hat with a picture of that mother fucker on the front.

My husband was so angry when we were finally leaving Disney that to commemorate the financial destruction we had just gone though he decided to buy one last thing, Mickey’s hat of despair. I’m not sure we will ever recover.

by Scotty Nice June 16, 2023

Christine's cum filled Cribbage

When a man is able to achieve his three greatest pleasures in one sitting by reading a Stephen King novel, playing online cribbage and having your butthole filled with man mayo.

I was talking to my buddy and learned he loves three things - reading Stephen King novels, playing cribbage and getting butt fucked. He then proceeded to tell me for some reason that after he got home one night and his family was out of town, he picked up and started to read Christine by Stephen King, played online cribbage and then had a male prostitute given him a prostate exam with his erect wiener. He succeeded in getting Christine's cum filled Cribbage. Wild stuff.

by Scotty Nice October 18, 2023

T Shirt Tuck

When a man, even though he had a vasectomy, has to pull out in order not to leave his wife dripping for the next 12 hours and she doesn’t want it on her gut. The husband must take an old white undershirt and “tuck it” under her ass, creating a canvas for his man juice.

Fucking Trudie man. I got a vasectomy and she still won’t let me bust up in her puss. I have to use the t shirt tuck so I don’t get it on or in her.

by Scotty Nice October 26, 2019

Coup d'etwat

When a man attempts to steal a woman's boyfriend by any means necessary so he can get in her pants. No tactic is off the table including bullying (online and in person), rumor spreading and physical violence to show he is a weak individual.

I really wanted to bang Trudie, so I set out to conquer her vagine by attempting a coup d'etwat against her weak ass boyfriend. I started by posting pictures I made of him online wearing lingerie and fingering his butthole then followed it up by beating him to a pulp in the bathroom at lunch. It worked and now Trudie and I are banging.

by Scotty Nice October 18, 2023