Max Biggins's definitions
A town on the south coast of England that is slowly succumbing to a tide of destitution and urban decay, which is unsual for a town of Bognor's size and location.
Visitors can try drinking in the Wetherspoons before being stabbed, get a celtic band or tribal at the various tattoo parlours, sample processed ham from the discount stores and even try their luck at a bingo hall and job centre.
You can test your local knowledge at a pub quiz on the sea front, where teams of pub employees join in to answer questions about their own pub, and you can witness first hand the summer spectacular of northerners beating up the red coats at Butlins then fighting with eastern europeans over the stuffed macaque they won in the Doner meat-eating contest.
There are retail parks featuring Matalan, Burger King and skulking coal-eyed chavs who only speak in vowels, and some lovely cashpoints at which to have your card cloned, or ripped from your hands by the feral children of a chain-smoking, morbidly obese Jabba with a wispy moustache.
You may also find yourself disorientated by a sudden burst of slavic languages from everyone around you, but this is a reflection of Bognor's multicultural diversity of poor white English and poor white Polish.
Bognor became famous for an appearance in the last episode of Wish You Were Here, in which Judith Chalmers was stalked by a family of Wendigo-people then dismembered and devoured. It was only ever aired on UKTV Gold.
Visitors can try drinking in the Wetherspoons before being stabbed, get a celtic band or tribal at the various tattoo parlours, sample processed ham from the discount stores and even try their luck at a bingo hall and job centre.
You can test your local knowledge at a pub quiz on the sea front, where teams of pub employees join in to answer questions about their own pub, and you can witness first hand the summer spectacular of northerners beating up the red coats at Butlins then fighting with eastern europeans over the stuffed macaque they won in the Doner meat-eating contest.
There are retail parks featuring Matalan, Burger King and skulking coal-eyed chavs who only speak in vowels, and some lovely cashpoints at which to have your card cloned, or ripped from your hands by the feral children of a chain-smoking, morbidly obese Jabba with a wispy moustache.
You may also find yourself disorientated by a sudden burst of slavic languages from everyone around you, but this is a reflection of Bognor's multicultural diversity of poor white English and poor white Polish.
Bognor became famous for an appearance in the last episode of Wish You Were Here, in which Judith Chalmers was stalked by a family of Wendigo-people then dismembered and devoured. It was only ever aired on UKTV Gold.
Geoffrey Palmer: I once won an episode of Catchphrase, and Roy Walker gave me the choice of Bognor Regis or Chernobyl, which was still glowing at the time.
Christopher Timothy: I assume you went with Bognor?
Geoffrey Palmer: Only after I was absolutely convinced Chernobyl was utterly irradiated and swimming with mutants. As it turned out, Bognor wasn't quite as irradiated, but had a higher mutant count. Swings and roundabouts.
Christopher Timothy: I assume you went with Bognor?
Geoffrey Palmer: Only after I was absolutely convinced Chernobyl was utterly irradiated and swimming with mutants. As it turned out, Bognor wasn't quite as irradiated, but had a higher mutant count. Swings and roundabouts.
by Max Biggins November 1, 2012
Get the Bognor Regismug. The pleasantly fishy emanations from the vulva of a well-endowed blonde slut in heat that cause olfactory delight and the involuntary twitching of the bishop's eyebrows.
'Barnabus, a most appetising fish course wafts through from the pantry. May I enquire as to what fruit of the sea we might feast upon this evening?'
'There's no fish course, it's just my playful niece Lucy's slut-stink. Most invigorating. More wine, Tristian?'
'There's no fish course, it's just my playful niece Lucy's slut-stink. Most invigorating. More wine, Tristian?'
by Max Biggins August 3, 2012
Get the Slut-stinkmug. 'Geoffrey, I hear the Royal Society held a capital soiree, with the most exquisite selection of cunt. Not too pungent, or sloppy.'
'Indeed, Cavendish. The blonde niece of Barnabus was a particularly delectable morsel; tidy, clipped and with a dash of salty haddock. Father Roland almost wept.'
'Indeed, Cavendish. The blonde niece of Barnabus was a particularly delectable morsel; tidy, clipped and with a dash of salty haddock. Father Roland almost wept.'
by Max Biggins August 3, 2012
Get the Cuntmug. by Max Biggins May 1, 2006
Get the pukkamug. Despite pleas to the contrary, the term weeb is merely the diminutive of weeaboo, a sad specimen of Western European or North American (usually male) who fetishise Japanese pop culture, exhort the wonderful taste of sushi, masturbate over cartoons and listen to childish J -Pop while ignorant of the culture, history and - in some of the saddest cases, geography - of their own countries.
Weeb: You should broaden your horizons and subscribe to Crunchyroll!
Human: You could try reading a book without pictures of pubescent cartoon girls, you filthy weeb. Try listening to music for adults instead of Japanese children.
Human: You could try reading a book without pictures of pubescent cartoon girls, you filthy weeb. Try listening to music for adults instead of Japanese children.
by Max Biggins October 9, 2020
Get the Weebmug. by Max Biggins May 3, 2006
Get the billingsgate sasquatchmug. One subjected to the corporate, postmodern reheating of the beat culture, following in the footsteps of subcultures such as punk in the reappropriation of earlier cultural artifacts to create a sense of identity and meaning in the neoliberal post-cold war era. It is embraced by a relatively small cross-section of broadly liberal, bourgeois and metropolitain young people, because this group is the advertising industry's target demographic for items of conspicuous consumption. The hipster labours under the illusion of vitality, agency and difference, when all the subculture can aspire to is another iteration of post-industrial, postmodern consumer culture, and one exceedingly more open to co-option, repackaging and branding than punk or hip hop because of a political passivity, and the disposable income of its largely middle-class advocates.
What defines the hipster seems to be merely material, but also pathological introspection and self-consciousness, perhaps amplified by the fragmentation of society in a free market, and the rise of the self-centred 'apsiration' culture of the noughties; one that hipsters often think themselves very much apart from, but very much engage in.
Overall, it is a youth culture borne lifestyle choice rather than any meaningful social struggle and is, with every lenseless spec frame, every thread of distressed denim and bottlecap of Pabst, irrevocably part of what it so petulantly but naively dismisses as mainstream culture.
What defines the hipster seems to be merely material, but also pathological introspection and self-consciousness, perhaps amplified by the fragmentation of society in a free market, and the rise of the self-centred 'apsiration' culture of the noughties; one that hipsters often think themselves very much apart from, but very much engage in.
Overall, it is a youth culture borne lifestyle choice rather than any meaningful social struggle and is, with every lenseless spec frame, every thread of distressed denim and bottlecap of Pabst, irrevocably part of what it so petulantly but naively dismisses as mainstream culture.
Anton; Hey, why do hipsters think they're independently-minded and breaking new artistic ground when they look the same and like the same stuff, usually indie music?
Chekov: Yes, their much vaunted cultural awareness creates such a sweet sense of schadenfreude in educated people. The hipster is blissfully unaware that his subculture is very much part of the wider cultural spasm of consumer capitalism expressing itself, and borrows heavily from previous subcultures. His jejune posturing is almost as endearing as that of schoolyard Marxists.
Chekov: Yes, their much vaunted cultural awareness creates such a sweet sense of schadenfreude in educated people. The hipster is blissfully unaware that his subculture is very much part of the wider cultural spasm of consumer capitalism expressing itself, and borrows heavily from previous subcultures. His jejune posturing is almost as endearing as that of schoolyard Marxists.
by Max Biggins January 23, 2014
Get the Hipstermug.