MathPlus's definitions

The Holey Bible

A specially designed Bible with a cross-shaped hole that runs across the front and back covers of the holy book to remind readers that Jesus died on the cross for their sins, so that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.

No one knows how many original copies of “The Holey Bible”—a collectors’ item among both believers and unbelievers—are in circulation.

by MathPlus August 21, 2021

Why Singapore?

1. Tax haven for Eduardo Saverin-like fugitives and gambling hub for syndicates.
2. Housing for hard-to-please Asian mistresses or mainland Chinese concubines.
3. Housing for illegitimate children and adopted godchildren or grandchildren.
4. Second residence in case of rioting against minority Chinese in home country.
5. Safety and security because public protests or strikes and guns are banned.
6. Wayward son or daughter attending international school or local polytechnic.
7. Filthy rich Japanese and Arabs seeking kinky sex escorts at five-star hotels.

Singapore is more than a mere tourist destination of choice. Ever wondered the unspoken “why Singapore?” for businessmen and long-term foreign residents?

by MathPlus November 24, 2018

Trump Got a Shot, So Should You!

The slogan by health experts to pro-Trump white racists, supremacists, and evangelicals, who were dissuaded by scientifically challenged pastors and conspiracists from getting a Covid-19 vaccine, because doing so could speed up their trip to the other side of eternity.

Doctors reminded hardcore Trumpists and QAnonists that even their “anointed” political savior had been vaccinated, so the message to them is: “Trump got a shot, so should you!”

by MathPlus April 29, 2021

Pignant

When a woman is approximately π months pregnant, or is slightly past her first trimester.

When asked by her nosy colleagues whether she’s expecting a baby, Alice geekily told them that she’s pignant, much to their confusion by what she meant.

by MathPlus May 24, 2021

Santa Claus is immune to Covid-19

WHO’s comforting message to millions of anxious children worldwide about Father Christmas to assure them (without proof) that despite his older age they needn’t worry about his health during this pandemic crisis, as he would be able to deliver their presents on Christmas Eve—however, they are reminded that they and Santa Claus must adhere to physical social distancing and must obey their parents to sleep early on December 24.

Because Santa Claus is immune to Covid-19, WHO confirmed that most countries—except those few nations that forbid Christmas because it is an “infidel” or pagan festival—would relax their quarantine rules to enable Santa and his flying reindeer to enter their airspace, so that he could uninterruptedly and unobstructively deliver the presents before December 25.

by MathPlus December 14, 2020

“America First” Math

When the US is toying with the idea of imposing exorbitant tariffs on foreign publishers, which would make it hard for them to ship their wallet-friendly, brain-unfriendly math titles to American homeschoolers, students, and teachers.

A number of hardcore Trumpublicans want their senators to push for an “America First” math bill to protect local authors from being outwitted by their foreign counterparts, whose titles cost a fraction of most dear inch-deep-mile-wide US math textbooks.

by MathPlus July 11, 2021

Flood, Fire, or Famine

When everybody goes through a hard time every now and then, but this is necessary not only to build up their character and faith, but each trial propels them to a greater height and a higher plane.

You may go through a flood, fire, or famine, but if you know who God is in your life, the pain and frustration are often a mere set-up for something greater that you are about to experience in your life.

by MathPlus October 19, 2017